Imandeep Kaur

Overthinking the good things as well.
Last week it was my 41st Birthday. The last time I remember feeling over the moon to celebrate was between about 30-34, since my Massi died when I was nearly 21, who shared my birthday I had always always loved being a MASSIVE BIRTHDAY MONTH FOOL. Enjoying every second of being alive and the privilege of it all.
Then came 2020, and it all went so wrong, I could barely breathe after my Nani died, I would sit at tables and just start sobbing, or put a sock in my mouth and get on my knees in the shower and scream with tears, for the next 4 years especially so much happened with work, beautiful game changing things but also some of the worst most heartbreaking experiences of my life, my health and everything dived south, and I was just limping along. Last year health was getting better, and I really tried to celebrate and over the years everyone around me especially oldest buddies at CS really tried to keep the joy alive, but it was the struggle bus. I thought maybe it was just gone, and that’s ok.
Over the last two years have rebuilt so much in myself and with a much deeper set of blessings, health and so much has been better, some quite difficult things have still happened, but realising now it’s just part and parcel of trying to do something in a system that wants to kill it and all of us literally and metaphorically by design.
Last week was like CTRL ALT DELETE, I didn’t realise I could and would feel and laugh like this again, thank you friends, thank you @civic_square pals and thank you to one of the best of us, a genius of our time in every way @byngtown YOU GUYS ROCK — in more ways than I can ever thank you 💙