Shane Burcaw

The world has only known about our pregnancy for a few weeks, and I’m already feeling a shocking and sickening exhaustion from the thousands of comments like these that we’re receiving daily.

First, take a moment to let the staggering applause for Sharon sink in. She left this comment on Hannah’s “first trimester recap,” which generally includes giddy photos of the two of us gleefully geeking about the early stages of parenting. A few days later, Sharon’s comment has 50,000 likes and counting.

Let me be very clear: Sharon sucks. It takes a particularly wretched and disgusting personality to feel comfortable commenting negatively on a happy couple’s pregnancy update. I feel no desire or obligation to extend her grace, but I do acknowledge (and pity) that her underlying beliefs about disability and parenting probably stem from a lack of understanding and experience.

So what, exactly, is Sharon not understanding?

Two main things.

1- A physical disability, even one as severe as mine, does not preclude someone from physically engaging with their child or the world around them. Of course, adaptations are needed. Creativity is needed. I’ll push a stroller with my adaptive stroller attachment instead of my arms. I’ll use an extra pillow or supports to keep the baby safely on my lap. When baby becomes a toddler, I’ll give rides on my wheelchair, rather than carrying them in my arms. We know hundreds if not thousands of disabled parents with a wide range of physical function. They have found brilliant and practical solutions to enable physical care for their children in so many beautiful ways. This is our first rodeo, but we are not entering uncharted territory by any means. CONTINUED IN COMMENTS