Jordan Wilson-Dalzell

Theo my dear,

I’m a week or so late on writing and sharing this but you loved being late and messing with our teachers so I don’t think i’d bother you.

I don’t really dream you alive these days very much and I think its because you are very alive in our home. We talk about you all the time. Since the beginning of our family, you always had a presence since I’d just lost you. So much of my learning to love was coated in grief for you and I think it made me more able to accept the joy and find time to play and smile and laugh because you were always really good at that. We imagine you caring for our loved ones who’ve passed on– creating trouble and shenanigans and getting up to all kinds of things in the afterlife.

When our puppy passed on, a huge part of the story we told was that you’d be there to meet him and show him around. That you’d take him to the park and shopping and help him organize his sparkly shoe closet. You would love the people who are part of my chosen family—some of whom i only met/became close/got to know after/because you were gone—and I wish they’d gotten to know you. I like to think though that you are still around the corner and laughing at our shenanigans and that in another world there would be a lot of board game nights drinking tea and arguing with you and my beloved and friends/family. I know you’d love my niblings– especially the more spirited they are–and probably teach them all kind of absurd things.

It feels surreal that you’ve been gone for longer than I knew you—and I don’t really know what to make of that.

Hope you have found the other people ive loved in the afterlife and finding joy and time to do what you couldnt on earth and space to be artists. Miss you!

#Firenze #Florence #ChosenFamily #grief #MentalHealthCareSavesLives