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@psy.tubacetin

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adolescent & adult therapy
ergen & yetişkin terapisi
📍 Leuven & Brussels
📞 0541 530 09 32
✉️ [email protected]

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Awareness, being self-aware… these concepts have become very popular on social media and in everyday life. We want to figure out who we are and find clear answers about ourselves. Through this awareness, we hope to reach a sense of certainty or something like, “This is who I am.”

But sometimes this certainty does not bring us closer to ourselves; instead, it traps us inside a fixed identity. Because no matter how many explanations we find, there will always remain something within us that cannot be fully explained.

From a psychoanalytic perspective, desire is connected precisely to this gap. Human beings move, search, and desire because they feel incomplete and cannot fully answer themselves. But when a person becomes too certain about who they are, the question “What do I want?” starts to disappear. It feels as if the answer has already been given and the story is closed.

As a result, desire can lose its vitality. Instead of discovering themselves, people begin protecting the identity they have fixed for themselves.

Maybe that is why the question “Who am I?” should never be completely closed. Because sometimes what keeps a person alive is the question itself.

#selfawereness #farkındalık by @psy.tubacetin

Insomnia, eating disorders, and difficulties in social life can be seen in anyone. However, it is important to carefully examine what place these issues occupy in a person’s life.
For example, a person who constantly cleans may simply be tidy and organized. But in another person, this behavior may be an attempt to get rid of something they feel contaminated by, or an effort to control distressing thoughts.
Similarly, a young person who stops eating might be experiencing romantic feelings at school and believe that being thin will make them more attractive. Yet for another person, avoiding food may stem from the belief that the food could poison them.

Applying the same treatment to these individuals would be a mistake. If we focus only on the visible behaviors, we risk treating the surface as if it were the problem itself.

In his book What Is Madness?, Darien Leader argues that merely calming behaviors on the surface prevents us from understanding the underlying structural issue. For this reason, the aim of treatment should not be simply to eliminate the symptom, but to understand what the symptom means for the person and the context in which it appears.

#psikanaliz #psychoanalysis #semptom #symptom #darienleader by @psy.tubacetin

İng. Below:
The subject feels that something is missing inside. Sometimes this feels like a lack in who they are: an imperfect lover, an imperfect mother, an imperfect student… as if they are not the person they should be.

At other times, the lack appears in knowledge. The person feels that something is wrong, but they do not know what it is. There is a sense of dissatisfaction, but the reason for it is unclear.

With these two kinds of lack in being and in knowing, people may come to therapy. When they start to question this, they often ask:

“Why do I always choose people who cannot connect?”
“Why am I like this?”

Even though they complain about these repeating patterns, they return to the same place that hurts them. This is what Freud meant by finding a kind of satisfaction in dissatisfaction. What the person complains about is also where they build their identity.

Here, dissatisfaction not only causes pain; it also keeps desire alive. Even not being happy can become familiar. People are not afraid of pain; they are afraid of alienation. That is why staying with what hurts feels safer than leaving what is known.

Therapy does not try to fix this dissatisfaction. The therapist is not someone who has all the answers, but someone who knows how to work with what is lacking. Therapy does not close the gap, it lets it speak.

And when what is lacking begins to speak, a space opens.
In that space, for the first time, the person can ask:

“What do I really desire?”

#desire #arzu #lack #eksiklik #therapy #terapi #psychoanalytictherapy #psikanalitikpsikoterapi by @psy.tubacetin

Uzun süreli terapilerde özne tekrar tekrar aynı meselelerden bahseder; aynı çocukluk anısına, aynı kişilere, aynı sahnelere geri döner. Başta fark etmese de her dönüşte, dönmeyle birlikte bir şeyler yabancılaşır, derinleşir ve dönüşür. Çünkü bu dönüşümün gerçekleşmesi için, belli bir dönmenin yaşanması gerekir. Aynı yere yeniden uğramak, öznenin artık aynı özne olmaması demektir; yüzey aynı kalsa bile, anlam her seferinde yeniden kurulur.
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In long-term therapy, the subject returns again and again to the same issues: the same childhood memories, the same figures, the same scenes. At first it may seem repetitive, but with each return something becomes estranged, deepened, transformed. This transformation, in fact, requires a certain amount of returning. To come back to the same place is never simply to repeat it; the subject is no longer the same, and the meaning is rewritten each time. by @psy.tubacetin

Türkçe için yana kaydırınız…Eng. below:

Sometimes a person’s connection with the outside world slows down.
They may not want to talk; social spaces can feel distant, blurry, and overwhelming.
During these periods, the mind pulls back slightly and settles into a quieter inner space.
The self begins to sort through excess weight, making difficult emotions and thoughts more manageable.

This state is often called “withdrawal,” yet an unnoticed inner process is actually at work.
A slower rhythm is not a collapse; it is the self’s way of regulating itself.
Stepping back is not a loss, but a natural protection against what feels too much.

This inner space is usually temporary.
When inner regulation is complete, silence begins to open,
and the person reconnects with the world at their own pace.
Not as loss, but as a quiet phase of rebuilding.

Visual reference: Lost in Translation (2003), Sofia Coppola
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#LostInTranslation #TurningInward #SlowingDown #InnerWorld #SelfRegulation
#İçeDönüş #Yavaşlamak #RuhsalSüreç #Psikoloji #Sessizlik by @psy.tubacetin

Türkçe için yana kaydırınız…Eng. below:

At first, the relationship between the creature and Victor in Frankenstein seems full of anger and conflict.
But we can also see it as a desire to stay connected, not just a rupture.
Despite everything, they are still linked.

Sometimes, anger isn’t about pushing away;
it can be a way to keep the bond alive.

The creature’s anger comes from being abandoned by Victor.
And this wound is like an invisible thread that keeps connecting them.

Even in conflict, the relationship remains.

When the creature shares its anger
and Victor stays with it,
the anger slowly changes,
and their bond grows deeper.

Listening to the loudest emotion in a relationship
can sometimes be the most healing step.

#Frankenstein #Therapy #Movies #InnerWorld #Emotions #Psychology #EmotionalAwareness #Relationships by @psy.tubacetin

“İstiyorum” dediğimiz şey her zaman gerçek arzu olmayabilir. Lacan’a göre arzu, eksikliğimizin etrafında şekillenir; çoğu zaman kazanmak istediğimiz şey, kendi eksikliğimizle ilgilidir.
Bu yüzden mesele sadece ne istediğimiz değil, isterken nereden istediğimizdir.

İlişkilerde, “Bu kişi beni neden sevmiyor?” yerine, merceği kendimize çevirip:
“Ben bu kişiden neyi istiyorum? Bu isteği bende harekete geçiren ne?”
diye sormak önemlidir. Dikkati dışarıya değil içimize çevirdiğimizde, dışsal beklentilerin etkisinden çıkarız. Gerçek arzumuzu fark ettiğimizde, ilişkilerimizde daha sahici ve ‘kendimiz’ olabiliriz.

Postun görseli, kendi arzusuyla karşılaşmakla ilgili güzel bir örnek olabileceğini düşündüğüm “Black Swan” (Aronofsky, 2010) filminden
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Saying “I want” doesn’t always show our true desire. Lacan says desire is shaped around what we feel is missing in ourselves. Often, what we want is connected to this lack.

So it’s not just about what we want, but why we want it.

In relationships, instead of asking, “Why doesn’t this person love me?”, try asking:
“What do I want from this person? What inside me is driving this desire?”

Looking inward helps us move away from external expectations. When we understand our true desire, we can be more authentic and ourselves in relationships.

A good example of facing your own desire is the film Black Swan (Aronofsky, 2010).
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#english #therapy #psychoanalysis #terapi by @psy.tubacetin