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Ryan

@ryanmhoney

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📍Los Angeles 🗺️ From Different Places
💎 Hidden Gem 🧘🏼‍♀️ Zen G
🥀 I would match your freak in every lifetime
🥦 Diet starts tomorrow

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Duality. 🌚🌞 A week or so ago, I accidentally went viral.

I was outside the Chinese Theatre, trying to finish my Big Gulp before The Drop premiere. We figured we may as well find Britney’s star, admire it, maybe say a little prayer for Addison Rae.

And then, disaster strikes.

A man with a microphone. An iPhone on a tripod pointed straight at me. I knew exactly what this was. I was about to become the next victim of a man-on-the-street TikTok.
He asked me what my favorite quote was, and it felt like he’d asked me to explain quantum mechanics. But then I looked down and it hit me:
“I go through life like the Karate Kid.”

Honestly, I don’t think he liked the answer. Fine by me, I just wanted to escape. Then another guy crashed the interview. I don’t know if it was a setup or just chaos, but I handled it like a champ. I spent most of the movie fidgeting in my seat, praying the video would either never surface or get buried in the algorithm until I’m rich and famous.

But no. My worst nightmare comes true.
I get a DM: “Mama, is that you?!”
My face flushes. I begin to sweat.

Thumbnail? My mullet flowing. Big Gulp in hand. Off-the-shoulder moment because I was already sweating from walking there.

Thankfully, the video was way less awkward than it felt, and the comments were actually… nice? Not me scrolling through and liking all the thirst comments. Honestly, I don’t think I could’ve handled a public dragging right now.

The weekend felt cosmically special.
@valkary was the first to send me the video and just happened to be in my neighborhood for a show. So of course, we partied ‘til last call and ended the night with McDonald’s in our underwear. It all just felt… aligned.

And then the next morning, I woke up and finally played pickleball for the first time.
A true LA “sport” if there ever was one. Is it a game? A sport? A lifestyle? I don’t know.
All I know is I was running circles around that court like Casey Anthony’s attorney.

We ended the day with tortas and pizza.
Diet starts in June. 🤭

Nothing bad can happen to me in front of Britney’s star. ⭐️ by @ryanmhoney

I did it all for The Rookie. (Come on) The Rookie!

I’ll be honest, The Rookie is not really my kind of show. The world is scary enough how is a series about violent crimes already on its seventh season? So instead of watching the episodes, I’ve been skimming through them hoping to catch a glimpse of myself.

When the finale aired this week and I was nowhere to be found, I crashed out. Are you joking? They cut my scene! I was convinced. I’d told everyone I know I was going to be a pivotal character on a major network drama. I was already googling “dancing eith the stars how get on”. (I have chubby thumbs).

Plot twist! My big break came and went a month ago. Season 7, episode 14. Around the 17:30 mark. A stunning yet concerned, mildly inconvenienced man appears in the crowd. That’s me! The pulse of the city. The glue of the episode. The reason you felt tension in that scene!!!

Filming was so much fun. We started on the Paramount lot, which felt like a dream in itself. Say what you want about vision boards, but I literally had a photo of Paramount Studios on mine, right next to a cutout of Milo Ventimiglia in short shorts. And wouldn’t you know it? We met right outside the exact stage I had pinned, before heading to the off-site location. Coincidence? Maybe. But please, let me have this.

We filmed the scene a few times, and even though the street was blocked off, a rogue delivery robot rolled right into frame like it was up for an Emmy.

Most of the day was sitting around and eating craft services. My scene partner got mustard on her top and they had to find her something new to wear. Nathan Fillion is like genuinely nice? He even took pics with some of the other extras. I didn’t want to look like a hungry tiger so I held back. That was the hardest acting of all. He’s… insanely hot in person.

I didn’t have any lines, but I whispered “Hey, watch it!” under my breath every take because I’m committed to the craft. SAG, call me.

Truly, it was the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Four hours, door to door. Paid for the full day. Highly recommend. by @ryanmhoney

Look ma! I’M ON TV! How am ✨I✨ supposed to know what is at a baseball game?? Please. by @ryanmhoney

🌹 by @ryanmhoney

on wednesday, the worst thing that’s ever happened to me did. and before you read further i want you to know how blessed and highly favored i am that the news i received, earth-shattering as it was, is the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. after 5 and a half years working at ebay, i was 1 of 1,100 people let go. i received a call from a stranger telling me my time at ebay was kaput.

i have never been unemployed. man, it sucks. i’ve never felt so worthless. i’ve never doubted myself more.

what makes it so hard is i loved the people i worked with. yuck, i know, but it felt like family. i’ve always felt like an outcast and unappreciated and misunderstood and i really felt the love from the people i worked with.

it really makes you think. was i an idiot? was i naive? i mean, probably. but i still don’t regret it. i put everything i had into that job. i was so proud to have it. i would brag about working at ebay. i don’t regret it. i’m proud of myself. i learned a ton about my craft and about myself. i’ve also received endless compliments from my former colleagues and they’ll stick with me forever.

i know there’s light at the end of the tunnel. i know i’ll figure it out. this is a slight detour, but one that hopefully needed to happen. if you know of any opportunities you think i’d be good for, please reach out. if you just want to send me a little love, please reach out. if you’ve navigated this scary uncertain world, please reach out. love ya! onward and upward. by @ryanmhoney

the horrors persist but so do i by @ryanmhoney

if a bagel can have everything so can I by @ryanmhoney

by @ryanmhoney

mind if i’m a little woowoo on main?? it’s been a while. 😇

i’m no stranger to meditation. to me it’s the hardest thing in the world but also the most rewarding. that and journaling but let’s talk about that another time. a while back i heard about hoʻoponopono. yes i had to google how to spell that. its an ancient hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. something ive been avoiding until recently. basically you chant: i’m sorry. please forgive me. thank you. i love you. (in your head or out loud. I like out loud)
the hardest part is taking responsibility. who wants that??. but once you do, you get to ask for release from the weight of a mistake, and give gratitude for the lesson it taught you. and the i love you part, that’s where you bring compassion back to yourself, or to whoever you’re forgiving.
it’s changed how i see so many things. turns out i’m way more forgiving of other people than i am of myself. how do you forgive yourself for something as small as an awkward encounter 🥲 i am so hard on myself. constantly replaying how i felt, how i reacted, what i should’ve done differently. parts of myself im ashamed of. self forgiveness is hard. but it’s necessary.
all i can say is try it. phone down. sit there. and just chant. you’ll be in awe of what comes up. i support you. 🤍 by @ryanmhoney

by @ryanmhoney

sunday already???? by @ryanmhoney

had to pay for my groceries with klarna but other than that life’s been good ☮️ by @ryanmhoney