Instagram story viewer> @shin.illo> Posts
April Shin(@shin.illo)'s profile avatar HD Profile

April Shin

@shin.illo

791
followers
328
following
Illustrator and milk tea enthusiast.
❤️: @perpixelphoto
POSTS STORIES REELS
Someone once told me, “If I even had half the amount of talent and smarts you have, I would’ve done so much with my life.” I know what they mean because I also see the gap between my potential and performance and I feel a terrible amount of guilt and frustration for not being able to use my smarts and talents in any meaningful or impactful way. Even from my perspective it looks like I’m not trying. I know I have mental health issues, but I don’t take that into consideration when I’m struggling because I assume everyone is struggling with something. But having mental illness means that things are harder for me than it is for people without it, and it’s really hard for me to accept that. I want to believe that I can handle things just as well as the next person, but it’s just not true. It also doesn’t help that the standards I have for myself are incredibly high as evidenced by my never having accomplished anything in life that I’m genuinely proud of. This distressing gap between expectations and reality causes so much grief because it feels like I can achieve everything I want if only I tried a little harder. I don’t know how to bridge this gap. Maybe I never will. That makes me sad. by @shin.illo
I have a hard time receiving compliments. by @shin.illo
Social interaction stresses me out 😳. by @shin.illo
My husband has always been the reliable one. by @shin.illo
It was nice meeting you.. again… 🫠🫠🫠 Allow me to crawl into this hole and perish from embarrassment. . My brain is literally useless. I forget names, words, stories people have shared with me, whole book and movie plots.. my brain is the opposite of a sponge. It’s the tiny food scraps sliding off a greasy plate. This will probably only worsen with age 🥲. by @shin.illo
According to my brain, there are a million tasks that need to be done and I’m never doing the right one. I try switching tasks to what I think is the highest “priority”, but then my brain changes its mind and says something else is now more important/urgent and it will not let me focus on the task at hand because I’m “wasting my time”. The only time it ever shuts up is when I’m on my phone 🤷🏻‍♀️🥲. Ugh, is there a way to manage this feeling? Do I just need to throw my phone into the ocean? by @shin.illo
It was me the whole time 🥲. I didn’t realize how unaware I was of my facial expressions, lol. Since then I’ve made a conscious effort to remember to smile whenever I interact with strangers. Wishing everyone a happy New Year’s Eve whether it’s out partying or chilling quietly in pjs 😊🥳. #comic #rbf by @shin.illo
It’s always “what’s AI?” and never “how’s AI?” 😞 lol. I’m cautiously optimistic about AI. It’s definitely not going away, so I feel like I should become familiar with it. I see it as another tool people can use to make their processes faster and easier. Just as digital art made it easier and faster to iterate on creative ideas, I think AI will do similar things for us but on a bigger scale. Also, does anyone else thank AIs after getting their questions answered? It feels impolite not thanking them..? 🤷🏻‍♀️ On the other hand, I’m hella rude to my Alexa 😆. . This comic was inspired by @andrew_orolfo who made a much funnier joke about AI at the Brea Improv. Loved his comedy and would definitely go see him again. by @shin.illo
This is how I feel in every conversation with every person. I feel like I’m a painfully uninteresting person and I’ve had multiple occasions where people have yawned once it was my turn to talk. *screaming from embarrassment* 🥲 I’ve read that you should have at least two or three fun stories in your pocket ready to go for moments like this but my brain refuses to hold onto any memories so it’s hard for me to come up with even one good anecdote. . I have been trying to tell myself positive lies lately (ex. You’re so beautiful! People really like you! You’re a great storyteller! 🤪). I’m trying to say these things to myself even when I don’t believe it in hopes that one day I’ll gaslight myself into actually believing I’m a good human 🤡. I feel like it’s kind of working maybe? I think the key is consistency, though. The bad thoughts are so automatic and prevalent that if I don’t stay diligent with my positive lies, the negative ones can easily take over. . I don’t know if this will actually help me become better at having conversations with people, but maybe it’ll at least help me not feel so stupid when I inevitably say the wrong thing. . Hope everyone is surviving the holiday madness. 😊❤️✨ by @shin.illo
I am great at interviews 🙃 by @shin.illo
Mood… . I recently got a job, then recently quit that job bc it was absolutely terrible. Like the owner was doing 100% illegal stuff. . Although I’m glad I’m out of there, I noticed that while I was there, because I was so busy and had a stable routine, my brain didn’t have time to be depressed. Now that I’m less busy, it’s starting to creep back. And it’s annoying and frustrating. I have no energy, I’m sleeping a lot more… . I’ve been trying to meet up with friends to keep my mood up. I know I should throw myself into creative work, but I have no motivation. I tried to make art yesterday and this is all that came of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ lol. . I’ve been scrolling on IG a lot too which isn’t helpful. And although a part of me wants to share my thoughts on IG in hopes that someone else can relate, another part of me is vulnerable to attaching my worth to the number of likes a post gets. Like, when will this need for external validation ever end..??? Why does the need exist? What purpose does it serve? I want to share on IG, but I don’t actually want to consume anymore social media. I’ve deleted and reinstalled IG more times than I can remember. I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe I need to move to a different platform? . I’m feeling better today than I did yesterday. I think sharing my thoughts also helps me to not be so much in my own head. Or at least make me more aware of what it is I’m feeling and maybe why? . I feel like my thoughts are all over the place, but I hope you’re all having a great Tuesday. 😊 Hang in there, y’all. ❤️ by @shin.illo
I recently read Nip the Buds, Shoot the Kids (sad, disturbing) by Kenzaburo Oe. Whenever I find a new author, I like to read a bunch of their books to get a feel for their body of work. . I also watched Nimona on Netflix and found that it was based on a graphic novel which I of course had to read and now I’m reading anything that Noelle Stevenson has created aka Lumberjanes. by @shin.illo

Download All

Save the photos and videos currently loaded on this page.

0Photos
0Videos
Ready to download 0 / 0

Keep this tab open until your download is ready.
back to up