#AmbiguousLoss

Dr. Pauline Boss has written several powerful books—her classic, AMBIGUOUS LOSS, which was published in 1999, is about the term she coined to account for all of the loss where there is no body: In it, she wrote about working with immigrants (before the time of the internet and long distance calls), families of POWs and those who were MIA, as well as families of people diagnosed with diseases like Alzheimers. In her follow-up, THE MYTH OF CLOSURE, published during COVID, she dives into the cultural need to put an end to loss when it’s something that we learn to live with, not circumvent or get over. She did a lot of work with families of 9/11 around the idea of physical ambiguous loss: When there is no body to mourn, no physical proof that someone has passed. There’s also psychological ambiguous loss: When someone disappears into dementia, addiction, divorce, etc. I think it’s such a powerful framework to imagine all different types of loss, and to learn how to support people enduring each of them.

Що відчуває жінка, яка переживає невизначену втрату?  Ми так багато про це написали. Але є емоції, які важко передати словами.  Ми з командою завітали на знімальний майданчик до наших партнерів @luminance.videoproduction, де створюється відеоролик про почуття жінок, чиї рідні зникли безвісти на війні або знаходяться в полоні. Тож ділимося роликом, де є трохи бекстейджу та люди, що створюють таке важливе соціальне відео.  Нагадаємо, що адвокаційний проєкт на тему “Невизначена втрата — це травма” впроваджується за підтримки урядів Норвегії та Швеції в межах Фонду «Аскольд і Дір», що адмініструється ІСАР Єднання @isar.ednannia. __________________________________ What does a woman feel when she faces ambiguous loss? We’ve written a lot about it, but still there are emotions that are difficult to put into words. Our team visited our partners @luminance.videoproduction at the film set, where a video is being created about the experiences of women whose loved ones went missing during the war or are being held in captivity. Sharing some behind-the-scenes moments and emotions of people who are creating this important social video. The advocacy video project “Ambiguous Loss is Trauma” is implemented with the support of the governments of Norway and Sweden within the Askold and Dir Fund, administered by @isar.ednannia.

[ukr/eng] Невизначена втрата — це невивчена і часто невизнана втрата. Це стан, коли людина зникає або стає недосяжною: живий він чи ні, чи повернеться. І через цю невизначеність — неможливо попрощатись та прожити біль. З цим станом наразі стикнулось понад 70.000 українських сімей. Проте не тільки в Україні, але й у світ досі бракує наукових досліджень і системної підтримки для родин, які стикаються з нею. Особливо — для дітей і підлітків. Для них це не кінець історії, а її довгий, важкий і безкрапковий розділ. Але навіть у ньому можливо знайти опору — через щирі розмови, підтримку і турботу 🫂 * Ambiguous loss is an unacknowledged and often unadmitted form of grief. It is a state in which a person disappears or becomes unreachable — no one knows whether they are alive, or if they will ever return. And because of this uncertainty, there is no way to say goodbye or to process the pain. More than 70,000 Ukrainian families are currently facing this experience. Yet both in Ukraine and around the world, there is still a lack of scientific research and systemic support for families affected by it — especially for children and adolescents. For them, this is not the end of the story, but a long, difficult chapter without closure. But even within this uncertainty, it is possible to find support — through honest conversations, compassion, and care 🫂

“Help im still at the restaurant” is very ambiguous loss coded. #therapysession #ambiguousloss #mentalhealth #aztherapist

We have an entire library of resources dedicated to helping you process complicated grief and ambiguous loss @callinghome.co. To join, visit our website and join The Family Cyclebreakers Club.

Pernah nggak ngerasa asing banget sama orang yang tidur di sebelahmu? Orangnya ada di depan mata, tapi rasanya dia bukan sosok yang dulu kamu kenal dan banggakan lagi. Dalam psikologi, ini namanya Ambiguous Loss. Kondisi di mana kamu merasa kehilangan yang sangat dalam, tapi nggak ada nisan untuk ditangisi. Kamu berduka atas “kematian” rasa percaya, memori indah, dan kenyamanan yang dulu dia berikan. Wajar kalau kamu merasa hampa dan sedih berkepanjangan meskipun dia sudah minta maaf atau ada di rumah. Karena yang hilang bukan fisiknya, tapi “fondasi” perasaanmu. Dan berduka sendirian itu rasanya capek banget. Klo kamu Pernah nggak ngerasa tinggal bareng ‘orang asing’ padahal statusnya masih suami istri? Jangan simpan sesaknya sendirian ya. Ada Ruang Cerita khusus untuk sesama perempuan, tempat kamu bisa tumpahin semua beban tanpa perlu pura-pura tegar. Komen MAU CERITA di bawah ya, nanti aku bisikin cara gabungnya. 🤍 ( luka batin istri, luka istri, perselingkuhan, pengkhianatan, konten rumah tangga )

😶‍🌫️Have you heard of “ambiguous loss”? It’s something many of us are parsing through in 2025, especially at this time of year. 💔The loss of people or a situation that doesn’t register and we can’t find easy closure around. We discuss on this week’s episode of AstroTwins Radio. 💬Comment PODCAST for the episode link. #astrology #horoscope #dailyhoroscope

Jason took this video in the ER for his clients unaware that his business wasn’t just temporarily out of business but permanently. He was admitted to the hospital for a massive pulmonary embolism in both lungs & right heart strain. That evening he went into sudden cardiac arrest & our lives came crashing down. I’ll never forget the moment I walked out of the hospital elevator that evening & turned the corner to see a crowd of staff gathered outside of a patients room. My pace quickly went from walking to running down the dim hallway as my brain processed that was my husband’s room. I rushed into his room filled to the brim with nurses & doctors who were preparing to rush him to ICU. I held his hand for just a few seconds as I tried to process it all & noticed he looked white as a ghost. I ran behind them as he was rushed to ICU while a nurse tried to explain what was happening. I was sobbing alone outside of ICU for just a few minutes before I was taken into a private room & informed my husband was dead. I mourned him for 29 minutes while doctors took turns performing CPR. I couldn’t contain myself as I sobbed & hyperventilated while staff gently scolded me that I needed to breathe & think about the safety of my unborn child. So many heartbreaking thoughts raced through my mind of life without my beloved husband as a widow with 2 young children. Then what I thought was impossible happened when the doctor came in to inform me that they were able resuscitate him but he is now in an induced coma. I was so scared of the unknown & very unaware of how much additional suffering was to follow. I did lose my husband that night but another version was born. Surviving cardiac arrest is a miracle but it also left us both with a loss that words can’t fully describe. We are grateful Jason survived but we are still grieving every day. We mourn the life we had, the simplicity we’ve lost, & the many pieces of him that injury has changed. This is the weight of ambiguous loss; holding joy & heartbreak in the very same breath while trying to find our way in a life that feels beyond overwhelming. Life can change in an instant. Hold your loved ones tight.

No one prepares you for this kind of grief—the grief of watching your child’s body move through the world while their spirit is swallowed by addiction. I grieved her laugh, her innocence, the light in her eyes. I grieved the little girl I once tucked into bed, even while she was still sleeping under my roof. It’s a confusing grief. People tell you, “At least she’s alive.” But parents like us know the truth: sometimes it feels like we’ve lost them, even while we’re still holding on. As a mom, it broke me. As a therapist, I can tell you this is called ambiguous loss—the kind that comes without closure, without ritual, without understanding. And yet, even in that grief, there was hope. Because addiction doesn’t always win. Recovery is possible. Healing is possible—for them and for us. If you’re grieving a child still alive, you’re not crazy. You’re human. And you don’t have to carry that weight alone. Comment PARENTSUPPORT and I’ll send you the resource I made for parents who feel this exact ache. #parentsofanaddict #familyaddiction #griefandhope #healingjourney #mentalhealthmatters #helpwithfamilyaddiction

Much like this tik tok, our retrievals did not go the way we hoped. So, we returned to the attic months later to record a BONUS episode of Race to 35 with @estherperelofficial. Esther helps Monica and Liz process their emotions surrounding the experience, she teaches them about ambiguous loss and she helps them move forward with a new perspective. Enjoy!!!

New solo episode of @thecallinghomepodcast is out NOW. Here’s what you’ll learn: - what ambiguous loss is and how it’s different from other forms of grief - how to grieve someone who is still alive - what is new this month @callinghome.co I hope this episode is helpful. Let me know what you learned in the comments and if there’s anything you’d like me to focus on in a future episode. Please don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Spotify and leave a review!

Grieving for a child who is still alive is something i wouldn't wish on nobody.. 'Ambiguous Loss' they call it, it's not irrational, it's psychological 💔🧠 Keep ya head up best you can.. It's Love.. Never Stop 💙🥷🏻