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The Breath Psychologist (Elif Clarke)

@thebreathpsychologist

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Psychologist & Senior trainer in integrative breath Therapy. Trauma & Anxiety and Nervous system specialist. GPBA- Accredited. BRCP and UKBA member

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Neuroception happens before thought. Your body decides whether you’re safe before your mind has a chance to explain it.

Past stress and trauma can colour that process, so a reaction may feel much bigger than the moment in front of you. Breathing often changes first: it may become shallower, faster, or held.

Because the breath is also something we can gently guide, it gives us a way to work with these responses. Slowing down, noticing, and orienting to the here and now may help the nervous system recognise that this moment is different from the past.

If you’re a therapist or breathwork practitioner and want to work this way with clients, my next training is open. Link in bio - training in throat breathwork on the 5th of December

#breathwork #nervoussystem #neuroception #traumainformed #somatictherapy thebreathpsychologist by @thebreathpsychologist

Sometimes, those who hold space for others need a space where they can simply be held. 🤍

I spent five beautiful days in Wales, surrounded by an incredible community of people coming together to breathe, move, connect, nourish and simply be.

Through breathwork, yoga, movement, cacao ceremonies, plant medicine and heartfelt connection, we created a space where we could soften, open and reconnect with ourselves and each other.

One of the most beautiful parts of this experience was seeing ourselves reflected in one another. Our vulnerability, our strength, our tenderness and our beauty. We reminded each other of the parts of ourselves we sometimes forget.

Many of us were therapists, healers and practitioners — people who spend so much of their lives caring for others, listening, supporting and holding space.

And for these five days, we had the opportunity to be cared for ourselves.

To be nourished by beautiful food, movement, breath, nature, rest, laughter and the richness of human connection.

It reminded me of something so important:

Those of us who care for others also need to be cared for.

We need spaces where we don’t have to facilitate, support, fix or hold everything together. Where we can simply arrive as we are, receive, reconnect and remember our own wholeness.

And sometimes, healing is not about doing more. It is about allowing ourselves to receive. 🌿

✨ If you are longing for a space to reconnect with yourself, to be nourished and to return to your own wholeness, I warmly invite you to join me.

Cacao, Breathwork & Sound Healing Day Retreat

📅 Saturday, 14 November 2026
📍 London | 10am–5pm
🌿 Cacao ceremony, breathwork, sound healing, movement, connection and a nourishing lunch
💛 £180 by @thebreathpsychologist

Therapists are human first, therapists second.

As therapists, we are affected by our clients’ stories far more than we consciously realise.

Our nervous systems are constantly picking up information beyond our conscious awareness. We don’t just listen with our minds. Our bodies are listening too.

And this works both ways. Our clients also pick up on our non-verbal communication, our breathing, our tension and our emotional state.

We cannot simply pretend to be regulated when we are not.

This is why our own healing and self-awareness are so important. We need to recognise what is happening within us and make space for our own emotions, rather than constantly holding space for others.

But who holds space for the therapist?

On 14 November, I’m offering a Cacao & Breathwork Day Retreat in London, with two guided breathwork sessions, sound healing, a nourishing lunch and community connection.

A day to reconnect with yourself, attend to your own nervous system and experience being cared for rather than always caring for others.

Because those who hold space for others need space to be held too.

Everyone is welcome. ❤️ by @thebreathpsychologist

Gabor Maté says trauma happens in relationship, and that talking alone may not reach it, because it can be held in the body as well as the mind.

Over 25 years as a psychologist, I’ve met many “yes, but” clients. “Yes, I understand it - but I don’t feel it.” They often repeat the same stories and stay stuck in their head.

When I bring them back to their body, sensation can feel overwhelming at first, simply because they aren’t used to it. My work is to find the middle ground: not so much that the nervous system goes back into fight or flight, and not so little that we stay comfortable and avoid what matters.

With the breath, we build tolerance gradually. As safety grows, we can begin to feel what was easier to avoid.

Talking can help us understand. It can also help us avoid. The balance depends on a therapist who is attuned to the client, and who is also doing their own work with what is held in their body.

Have you ever understood something but still not felt it? by @thebreathpsychologist

We spend so much of our lives trying to fix ourselves. We spend fortunes on courses, therapies, workshops and different healing practices, often driven by a deeply rooted belief that something is wrong with us.

We want to release our pain, change our patterns, overcome our fears and get rid of the parts of ourselves that we find difficult to accept.

But what if there is nothing fundamentally wrong with us?

What if, instead of constantly trying to change ourselves, we simply paused, listened and became curious about what is happening within us?

What if we could sit with our discomfort, our sadness, our anger, our fears and all those parts of ourselves that have been waiting to be loved, understood and accepted?

So much of our sense of not being good enough comes from the way we have been mirrored by others throughout our lives. The criticism, judgment, rejection and expectations we experienced can gradually become our own internal voice.

We begin to see ourselves through the eyes of others, forgetting that their perception of us is not necessarily the truth of who we are.

In psychology, we explore these relational experiences through concepts such as projection, transference and countertransference. Our past relationships, emotional experiences and unconscious beliefs can influence how we perceive and respond to one another.

Sometimes, when we look at others, we are also seeing parts of ourselves. And when others look at us, they may be responding through the lens of their own experiences.

Perhaps the work is not always about becoming someone different, but learning to be with who we already are.

To pause. To listen. To stay with what is present, without immediately needing to change it.

To develop a relationship with ourselves that is based on curiosity, compassion and understanding rather than constant criticism and correction.

We can grow, heal and change without believing that we are fundamentally flawed.

And perhaps, as we become more comfortable in our own skin, we also create more space to meet others with the same acceptance.

#selfacceptancejourney #beauthenticallyyou #regulate #transference #breatheeasy by @thebreathpsychologist

✨ Preparing for something truly special… ✨

A little behind-the-scenes moment as we get our space ready for a beautiful Breathwork experience. 🌿💫

Creating a safe, nurturing space where we can come together, breathe deeply, let go of what no longer serves us, and reconnect with ourselves.

A space to feel supported, to release, to soften, and simply BE. 🤍

There is something so powerful about breathing together in a supportive community, where everyone is welcome just as they are.

🌸 Breathe. Release. Reconnect. Nourish your body and soul.

We can't wait to share this beautiful experience with you. 🙏✨

#Breathwork #ConsciousBreathing #relax #breath #HealingTogether #SafeSpace #CommunityConnection #MindBodySoul #BreatheAndRelease #SelfCare #InnerPeace by @thebreathpsychologist

Did you know your nervous system may choose safety over success?

What we call self-sabotage can sometimes be a protective strategy. You may want success consciously, but if success has become linked with visibility, rejection, criticism or losing belonging, your nervous system may experience it as a threat.

This can show up as procrastination, overthinking, pulling back, creating problems, or freezing just before an important step.

I think of it like a tree. The behaviour is what we see above ground. Beneath it are coping strategies, such as staying small or avoiding visibility. And beneath those may be earlier experiences that shaped beliefs like “If I am visible, I will be criticised” or “If I expand, I may lose connection.”

So a more useful question than "Why am I sabotaging myself?" might be "What is this behaviour protecting me from?"

Breathwork and body-based work can help explore this beyond thinking alone - noticing how these patterns show up in the breath and body, and gradually helping the nervous system experience success and visibility as safe.

The aim is to feel successful while staying connected, accepted and supported by @thebreathpsychologist

ONLINE COMMUNITY BREATHWORK CIRCLE 🌬️
Wednesday 7th October, 7:00 - 8:15/8.30 (UK time)
Then every other Wednesday

A space to slow down, reconnect, reset, release and restore.

Our breath is always with us, yet many of us rarely connect with it because we spend so much time in our heads and so little in our bodies. This circle is an invitation to come back to yourself.

Through the breath, you can begin to notice the sensations your body is communicating, at your own pace and in a way that feels safe. You stay in charge of your breath: you can slow down, speed up, or pause whenever you need to.

We start gently and build the practice together over time. There is no wrong way to do this. Everyone can learn to listen to their breath and their body, and to breathe in a way that supports mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. Sometimes the breath may also bring up feelings or sensations you didn’t expect, and we hold that with care.
Coming regularly can help build resilience to stress. In my monthly in-person group, many people have been coming for two to three years, and they describe meeting life’s ups and downs with more steadiness, groundedness, acceptance and trust.

Open to everyone, whatever your experience.

When you register, you’ll receive a 15-minute preparation recording covering how to practise, how to set up your space, and everything you need for the session.

Donation: £10
Link in bio to register ❤️

Every two weeks, let’s come together to regulate, reconnect with ourselves and each other, and reset our nervous systems by @thebreathpsychologist

Are your shoulders doing your breathing?

Compensatory strategies are the ways our body, mind, breath and nervous system adapt when something isn’t working in harmony. Instead of fixing the root issue, the system adjusts around it so we can keep going. These strategies are intelligent and help us survive, but over time they can create tension, imbalance and disconnection.

The diaphragm is our main breathing muscle. When it isn’t moving freely, the neck, shoulders and upper chest may start doing more of the work. These muscles are there to help when we run or face danger, not for everyday breathing. When they take over day after day, that is a compensatory breathing pattern.

In my work, I see it develop from stress, pain, injury, surgery, posture, holding the stomach in, or a body that learned long ago to stay on guard. You might notice your shoulders lifting as you breathe in, tension in your neck or jaw, frequent sighing, or feeling tired and wired at the same time.

Try this: put one hand on your chest and one on your belly, breathe normally, and notice which moves more. This is just information, not a test.

The good news is that breathing patterns can change, gently and at a pace your nervous system can manage.

If you notice new breathlessness, chest pain or dizziness, please check with your GP first.

#breathwork #compensatorybreathing #diaphragm #nervoussystem #somatictherapy by @thebreathpsychologist

A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO RETURN HOME TO YOUR HEART, BODY AND SOUL.

Join us for a deeply liberating day of breath, cacao, movement, connection and rest — an opportunity to step away from everyday life, slow down, listen to your body and go deeper into your relationship with your breath.

We begin gently with guided meditation, somatic movement and Somatic Experiencing practices to help you arrive in your body, become more present and prepare for the journey ahead.

We then come together for our heart-opening cacao ceremony, followed by your first Conscious Connected Breathwork session.

Afterwards, we pause for a beautiful nourishing lunch — time to eat, connect, rest and integrate.

In the afternoon, we bring some energy and fun back into the body with the Break State and somatic movement, before moving into your second Conscious Connected Breathwork session.

We conclude the day with Yoga Nidra, allowing the body and nervous system to deeply rest and integrate, followed by time to share and connect together

11/10/2026

10.30AM to 4.30PM

See link Bio to register by @thebreathpsychologist

Did you know that your breath has a pattern - and that pattern can tell us something about how your system has learned to live?

The way you breathe can reflect your nervous system state, your habits, your beliefs, your emotional patterns and the ways you have learned to cope with life.

Some people breathe mainly into the upper chest. Some use their neck and shoulders. Some breathe strongly into the belly but have very little movement through the chest. Some breathe predominantly into the back.

I don’t see these patterns as fixed meanings or diagnoses.

I see them as information.

What is the breath doing?
Where is it moving?
Where is it restricted?
Which areas are working harder?
Where is there very little movement?

These patterns can give us information about how the body has adapted over time, how the nervous system is functioning, and some of the ways a person may have learned to manage stress, emotion and life experience.

The breath is not separate from the rest of us. It is influenced by posture, muscle tension, nervous system state, emotion, habit and experience.

This is why I always say:

Before we try to change the breath, we need to learn how to listen to it. by @thebreathpsychologist

RESET. RECONNECT. RETURN.

I’m looking forward to seeing you all this Saturday, 26th September, for our Resilient Community Breath Circle.

Anyone who has experienced breathwork before is welcome — whatever school, training or tradition you come from.

Healing happens in relationship and connection. Stress and trauma can disconnect us from ourselves, from our bodies, and from each other.

This circle is an opportunity to come together as a community — to connect, release, reset and return home to your body and your breath.

You’ll be supported by experienced, dedicated facilitators throughout the session.

Saturday 26th September #thebreathpsychologist #CommunityGathering #breathworkpractice #selfcare #TraumaInformed by @thebreathpsychologist