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Nickademus de la Rosa

@ultrademus

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🧠 MS Sports & Performance Psychology UWS
🏃 Co-founder of Lightfoot Coaching
❤️ Full-time husband to @jadebelzberg

POSTS STORIES REELS

The highlight reel?

🏔️ 2008-2018: Ambitious running career driven mainly by low self-worth and a deep desire to be seen and loved.

💔 2018: Open heart surgery for an aortic aneurysm

😔 2018-2024: Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis and a whole lot of mental health struggles and therapy.

🧠 2024-present: I got my MS in Sports & Performance Psychology and work with athletes helping them avoid or work through mental barriers I know all too well.

🏃 I’m still running but for totally different reasons these days. Self-worth isn’t a question with the love of the people I have in my life ❤️ @jadebelzberg by @ultrademus

From 2011 to 2013, I had this strange little corner of Tennessee memorized like the back of my hand.

In 2014, my ego tried to convince me to go back to the event. “I gotta go break the course record!” it would scream. My ego was convinced that ever day that went by without an epic summit, adventure or race that my name and presence in the niche world of ultrarunning was moving on without me.

In 2018 I had open heart surgery which was the end of my formal professional running career.

Through 2018-2023, I struggled with recurrent pericarditis and slipped in and out of struggles with Borderline Personality Disorder, suicidal ideation and self-harm.

Since 2023, I’ve run Kodiak 100, Tahoe Rim Trail 100 and most recently Cascade Crest 100 this past year, all of which irritated and gave me bouts of recurrent pericarditis.

It’s been over eight years since heart surgery and I am creeping closer to the time when I was told my bicuspid valve will go stenotic (non-functional) and that I’ll need a second surgery. And so I’m in this current place of trying to let go, of ever getting back to Tor des Geants, of chasing after speed and sponsors.

Parts of me are settled. If you ran into me I’d likely only show you the parts of me that say I’m doing perfectly fine and just trying to stay healthy, keep the pericarditis at bay and enjoy running in the mountains with Jade.

But internally, another part of me is writhing, panicking and lost.

As the part of me that flares up and asks who I am without running and racing, I tell myself that I’m Nick and always have been Nick, far before Barkley and well beyond anything after. My only mission in life is to be myself.

My shoulders then relax and the panic settles. I go back to making a morning matcha and watching a small herd of cats (five currently) play around our kitchen.

More on my substack if you’d like to check it out! by @ultrademus

Back in 2024, Nick told us Tor des Géants was harder than Barkley. Does he still think so? 👀 It depends on whether you mean “harder” or “harder to finish.” Full episode with @ultrademus is out now wherever you get your pods. by @ultrademus

When endurance training is an all day venture. #endurance #ultrarunning #ultramarathontraining #trailrunning #sandiego by @ultrademus

It’s the main question I’m currently asking athletes as we strip back ego and having to “prove” something#firstultramarathon #ultramarathontraining #endurance #ultrarunning #mentaltoughness . by @ultrademus

Kindness wins every time.

#Barkleymarathons #mentaltoughness #ultramarathon #trailrunning #endurance by @ultrademus

Gotta’ name them all! #ultramarathontraining #endurance #ultrarunning #britishcolumbia #cheampeak by @ultrademus

Coming to a startline near you!

#firstultramarathon #ultramarathontraining #ultrarunning #endurance mindfulness by @ultrademus

“And I want to set my anger freeeeeeee” -Metallica

But in all seriousness? Anger can fuel your run for 20-30sec max.

You want to go long? You want to go far?

Self compassion ✅
Self-love ✅
Kindness ✅
Thinking beyond the self ✅

Those practices will get you hundreds of thousands of miles. by @ultrademus

Stopping to smell the flowers 💐 or rather the mushrooms today (yay Fall!)

Because my quads are DOMS 5000 recovering from the Frosty 50km! by @ultrademus

Ah man 😮‍💨 as another said “glad that wasn’t a 120 miler!” aka Fat Dog.

Super proud of this effort! I actually paced this thing out properly!

Awesome day out there! Thank you @trail_whisperer_race_series for putting on this beautiful event year after year! Honestly it’s one of my favorites…

Brutal climbs ✅
Steep and endless descents ✅
Great competition ✅

And more beautiful fall colors than I could shake a stick at! @jadebelzberg loves this phrase*

And shout out to Jade who in her SIXTH race this past month somehow still 🥇the 27km!! I’m amazed! by @ultrademus

Good luck to everyone racing Tor des Geants this coming weekend!!

What a beautiful place and wonderful memory it holds nel mio coure! by @ultrademus