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Lala Trejo

@_lavenderlala17

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LA GÜERiTA🧜🏻‍♀️
we heal in spirals 🌀
healing deeper every time if you do the work 💪🏼
On a mission to save all of our children🧿 🐆
AZ🇲🇽🌙⚔️

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Today is Mexican Independence Day.

It’s also my abuelita Carmen’s birthday up in heaven.

I was her caregiver before I was ever a mother, she gave me that role.

I didn’t know it back then, but I would also be appointed the generational curse breaker ⚔️ and when God told me to speak up, that’s exactly what I did; not just for me but for her! 💕

For her before she passed, and for her before she was born 😭 🌙 🌕 🌙

And for all my descendants ❤️‍🩹

It cost me the village but it gained me an army of angels and ancestors who want to see us break these generational curses. ⛓️‍💥 ⚔️

Never would I have guessed that I would give birth to a September baby on the red blanket my abuelita passed down to me.

I cover my babies with the same blanket now and feel protected even more; reminded of the strength that was passed down to me also🪽

Slide 4 is my paternal grandmother as a baby with my great grandmother and I look just like them, güerita pero 💯 % mexicana.

I look back at these strong women who survived food shortages, poverty, postpartum depression and infant loss, with just a dollar and a dream.

“Too many kids” and a dollar and a dream, just like us!

We got abandoned by our village in the middle of our postpartum journey, for choosing our kiddos peace and safety over anything else.❤️‍🩹

Being the generational curse breaker ain’t for the weak.

You’ll be isolated, made fun of by those who refuse to heal, made to feel dumb, wonder if you should go back just to not be alone, but you know deep down you can not go backwards for your kids sake.

You have to keep going forward even with faith the size of a mustard seed 🌱 💪🏼 😮‍💨

I know our angels and ancestors got us because we were chosen to carry the lineage forward and create a new safer village ⚔️ 🙏🏽 ❤️‍🩹

#novillage #csasurvivor #ancestorsdream #dollarandadream #generationalcursebreaker⚔️⛓🗡🛡 by @_lavenderlala17

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He said “we are going to change our families lives and break the trauma” years ago 🥹 and I believed in him like he believed in me and helped me speak up🙏🏽 ❤️‍🩹

We got abandoned by our village in the middle of postpartum for choosing our kiddos safety and peace over anyone else.

Si los últimos son los primeros no hay pedo me espero pues no pierdo nada 👌🏼 💯

We don’t lose, we learn the lessons, break the cycles and come back stronger. We play the long game. We believe in morals and values over appearances and money.

“Too many kids” and a dollar and a dream just like our ancestors.

Se ve que el dinero en ves de ayudar los daña 🙂‍↔️

We are our ancestors wildest dreams and we’re not even done yet 💪🏼

#TheTrejos #generationalcursebreakers #csasurvivor #innerchildhealing #myprotector❤️ taken in Tucson, Arizona by @_lavenderlala17

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I share because I want others to know that it’s ok to talk about these things and that I will always be a safe place for people but I am no longer a doormat and there is no longer a welcome sign up at all times.

Boundaries ⚔️ are crucial as a #recoveryingpeoplepleaser and to #protectourchildren over anybody’s lazy as$ opinions who don’t even do the inner work necessary.

This is my story to tell and whether it was physical, SA, emotional neglect, or spiritual abvse, it is MY story to share how I feel.
So many go by day to day just numb by the conditioning of being told to shut up about what happens to us so I’m here to be that GLiTCH in the MATRiX that reminds you, YOU are allowed to speak 🗣️ up for yourself! ✨

I wouldn’t have even known the correct terminology and definitions for all these types of abvse had I not gotten the chance to go therapy. 🙏🏽
I also had the privilege to go to group therapy sessions w other women, as we formed healing circles 🌀 around speaking our truths and NAMING the things we couldn’t name before. ✨

That’s the beauty of knowledge and self- healing❤️‍🩹
It is never completed work 💯 and we heal in spirals 🌀 forever coming back to things we thought we knew before with deeper meanings. 🤓

I will forever be grateful for those years of learning and growing pains bc of how crucial it has become during even more trying times now like being postpartum w no village, defending myself in court against abvsers, and the aftermath from speaking up.
…And WOW did I learn to handle myself w grace and let facts speak for me. 💪🏼 😮‍💨

Because you can brag all you want about what you got under your tool belt, until it’s time to actually use it, under pressure to make crucial decisions that will impact your kids more in the LONG run over whatever someone is telling you for their SHORT term gratification bs traditions. ⚖️
Even if, and ESPECIALLY if it’s toxic family trying to play you for a fool as if you’re not the only one actually going to therapy.

You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick ❤️‍🩹 ⚖️

#eldestdaughter❤️
#csasurvivor
#generationalcursebreaker⚔️⛓🗡🛡 by @_lavenderlala17

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2 months ago

SA & TRIGGER WARNING ‼️ ⚠️

In this picture I was around 6. I had already been nicknamed “molacha” for a few years. it pissed me off every time but I held it in. at 4 I remember being SA’d by an uncle in the family while playing with Barbie’s in my cousins room. I learned to hate myself & couldn’t understand logically what had happened to me yet until motherhood/postpartum came & brought everything back up to the surface. Even tho I DID speak up right when it happened as a child, I didn’t have the full language capacity to explain just how much he touched me but I said he touched my privates &kissed me. I didn’t remember what else because I blocked it out as a 4 yr old! I was told to keep it a secret & just stay away from him, even though he would follow me at family party’s & force me to shake the hands that touched me. When I finally outed him publicly on the internet during my second postpartum 3 yrs ago, everyone said I should’ve just said it in private. They continued to honor & show love to that man. I’ve been the isolated black sheep of the family since. #novillage #divineprotection 🙏🏽

Then this skateboarding 🛹 accident just happened in August(should’ve stuck to my skates 🛼 🥹) & reminded me even more, why I hated my smile, why I was scared of certain s3xual activities all my life. The dentist triggered me & more came up to the surface 💔 reminding me again why healing is NOT linear. it IS a spiral 🌀 healing deeper every time we do the work 💪🏼
I busted my teeth on the sidewalk like I busted my toddler teeth climbing furniture right before the SA happened to me.
It’s like I’ve been in the “fight camp” feeling with my husband since before his last fight because I lost over 20lbs since not being able to eat for over a month and dealing with flashbacks.
He got that bag 💰 🏆 and fixed my teeth tho🥹
It’s been a huge adjustment learning to love this special picture of mi inner niña even more ❤️‍🩹
I’m only sharing because again you don’t know what else some people are going through, so be kind! Not everyone is given the same starting point. Not everyone has the same 24 hours.
#iamjanedoe #csasurvivor #innerchildhealing by @_lavenderlala17

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5 days ago

I heard the last stage of healing ❤️‍🩹 is shaking some as$ 🤪 🤣🤣🤣

I do not own the rights to this music 🎶
#introvert #lifepath1 #innerchildhealing #eddiezukomusic taken in Tucson, Arizona by @_lavenderlala17

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6 days ago

I’ve been sick and we can’t afford another sick day.
So I’m eager to feel better FAST before Monday 🥴😵‍💫
Team no village just us lol lil glimpse of our Sunday morning. Then I went to lay down and my man handled the rest. Forgot to show all the steaks he cooked me🥰
Bc being on your period AND sick SUCKS LOL
It def helped tho I sweated out a fever so fast!
Send this mama a cafecito mañana plz so I can handle these chaos monsters 🥹 jk unless you wanna help support this stay at home mama w four kids lmk cashapp here $lalaaa0717 🤪 🥰 by @_lavenderlala17

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As a survivor of DV and CSA growing up.
There’s a lot that we carry every day.
Sometimes it’s light and we feel powerful yet other times it can be heavy, even just having to wake up and remember that “oh yea that really did happen to me… I wasn’t imagining it” feeling.
There’s a lot that could’ve been blocked out and now we’re actually doing the work to feel and remember even tho you don’t always have to remember, sometimes it just happens involuntarily at the worst times, and that’s when we have to do our best work mentally to cope.

Sometimes nobody knows how deep we’re going through it. Be kind, bc you never know how much people are holding in just trying to survive every day!

#worldmentalhealthday #domesticvoilenceawarenessmonth #csasurvivor by @_lavenderlala17

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😻 🥲

#generationalcursebreaker #lifepath1 #innerchildhealing by @_lavenderlala17

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by @_lavenderlala17

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10 days ago

-“Grandmother willow, I NEED to speak 🗣️ to you!” 😭

Idc I am that sensitive girly who feels for the trees 🌳, madre tierra y nuestro niños, all the injustices & all of the oppressed people, bc nobody is free until we are ALL free🙏🏽 🍉 and Nolan wells didn’t drown 😤

Fck your love & light & just forgive to turn the other cheek bs. That’s why nothing changes until we all learn to shine the light 🔦 on the darkness & illuminate. ⚔️

Fck this p3do run society that cares more about profits than the people and the land we need! 🐆 ⚔️
#ᴍᴀᴛʀɪᴀʀᴄʜʏ #landback #ferngully #lorax #makepredatorsafraidagain taken in Sonora Desert by @_lavenderlala17

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It’s even more frustrating and triggering to see the hypocrisy and no accountability.

Reminds me of how people in your own family will stilllllllll say “but that’s still family” 🐂 💩!

A.K.A. : -“but he’s so young/ old, he didn’t mean it”
- “Don’t ruin their life/ the party by speaking up”
-“Sorry ma’am there wasn’t enough evidence without a confession” even tho the old mf clearly said he didn’t remember and if he did he’s sorry 🙄
-“Why did you wait so long to say something?”

If you know firsthand what any of these comments
FEEL LIKE, I am sending you so much love 💗 💫 🫂

Don’t forget to hold yourself and remind yourself the shame is not yours to carry. You didn’t deserve ANY of it!

#fckice #makepredatorsafraidagain #iamjanedoe #csasurvivor #healingjourney by @_lavenderlala17

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14 days ago

Having a babygirl felt like facing the final boss of the generational curses in my bloodline.

Battling the machismo and patriarchy embedded within undeveloped minds 😮‍💨 ⚔️

And I refused to be a pick-me/ enabler like women before me.

I refused to stay silent on abvsive “men” just to keep the fake peace.

Sometimes it doesn’t even feel real, that’s why I chuckle 🤭 it felt like a movie where I was going up against NPCs trying to derail me from healing bc no way that was my mom yelling about me “still not healing” in court only for the judge to tell her to sit down and say “she’s trying to protect her kids unlike you, admitting there’s been abvse in the family but saying she’s not letting it go? Ma’am CSA stays w someone forever and it is your responsibility as a parent to help her heal not shame her for calling out the abvsers”.

That part replays like a movie also, helping me heal everytime I remember that lovely judge who listened to me with a trembling voice and no lawyer.

Heavy on the “if they didn’t want you to say anything about it they should’ve treated you better”…

Because like they say, a woman will never forget her pregnancies and postpartum phases. She will never forget who was there for her and who just made things harder!

My kids are more protected than I ever was.

Yea, it is a flex !💪🏼 🥹

#innerchildhealing #healingjourney #daughter #motherhood #csasurvivor by @_lavenderlala17

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