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Pure Transformations by Karin Enfield-de Vries

@_puretransformations

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A practice for #counseling #coaching & #consultancy with an emphasis on support for #grief and #loss around #childlessness #ongewenstkinderloos

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Hello there, I’m Karin.

There are quite a few of you here now and after my last post about making room for more, it feels like a good moment to introduce myself again.

I’m a grief and loss counsellor, coach, trainer and change management consultant.

I’m also a woman who knows grief from the inside.

I became childless not by choice at 33, after cervical cancer changed the course of my life. Childlessness has shaped me deeply personally and professionally and holding space for the grief of being childless remains an incredibly important part of my work.

But over the years, grief has taught me something else too;

We are allowed to be more than the things that have happened to us.

Today, my work increasingly sits at the intersection of grief, loss and change. I’m fascinated by what happens when life doesn’t go according to plan, when our identity shifts and when we find ourselves somewhere between who we were and who we are becoming.

Not rushing grief.
Not “moving on”.

But making room for all of it.

Grief and joy.
Loss and possibility.
Who we have been and who we are becoming.

And outside of work? I’m still a lover of life, travel and music, I still talk to most animals I meet 😄 and I still love conversations about the sense and nonsense of life.

So, whether you’ve been here for years or have only just found me… Hello. I’m glad you’re here. There’s more to come…

Big hugs,
Karin 💛

#puretransformations #nicetomeetyou #grief #change #thisisme by @_puretransformations

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2 months ago

When the path of life takes a turn we never imagined, it can feel as though we’re walking it alone. For many childless women, the silence of isolation can be deafening. Yet, when we find our community, something extraordinary happens.

We find reflection in each other’s stories.
We find courage in each other’s presence.
We find strength in belonging.

Through these connections, our relationship with ourselves deepens. We begin to see that our worth is not diminished by what we’ve lost, but illuminated by the ways we rise and grow around our pain.

Community does not erase the grief, it holds it with us, softening its edges. And in that holding, we discover new ways to live fully, meaningfully and authentically in a life we never expected but can still embrace with open hearts.

Remember; you are not alone. Together, we rise.

Big hugs, Karin 💛

#childlessnotbychoice #childlesswomen #involuntarychildlessness #livingloss #griefjourney #griefsupport #healingtogether #lifewithoutchildren #sisterhood #sacredconnection #selfdiscovery #puretransformations by @_puretransformations

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a year ago

I want to share something I’m quite proud of; I’ve been added to the 2026 National Cancer Survivors Day®️ Speakers Bureau.

When I survived cervical cancer at 33, I didn’t yet understand what survivorship would ask of me. Treatment ended, but life didn’t simply return to “before”…

There was loss. Grief. A body that felt unfamiliar. A future that had to be reimagined.

Over time, through living, listening and walking alongside others through change and loss, I’ve learned that what truly shapes change is not only what we do, but what we are willing to acknowledge.

When grief is given space, when meaning is allowed to emerge, something new can take root.

This is what sits at the heart of my work and my life: creating space for the human experience of loss, so that change, healing and transformation can unfold with honesty and compassion.

I’m grateful to be part of conversations that honour survivorship in all its layers; the strength, the tenderness and the truths we don’t always see.

Thank you @cancersurvivorsday for giving my voice a platform 🙏

Big hugs, Karin 💛

#cancersurvivor #lifeaftercancer #griefandloss #hiddengrief #humanchange by @_puretransformations

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9 months ago

Some lights never go out… 🕯️

Today, October 15th, is the International Wave of Light, a moment when people around the world light candles to remember babies who were lost far too soon.

Some babies were held in loving arms, others were only ever held in hopes and dreams. But each one mattered…

Pregnancy and baby loss can bring a grief that isn’t always visible or understood by others. And sometimes, even years later, the sadness can still be there.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, no timeline to follow and no need to explain why a loss still hurts.

Tonight, I’m lighting this candle in remembrance of all those precious little lives and in support of the women and families who carry their memory in their hearts.

If today feels particularly difficult, please be gentle with yourself. Whatever you’re feeling is OK.

Thinking of everyone remembering someone special tonight.

Big hugs, Karin 💛

#waveoflight #babylossawareness #childlessnotbychoice #griefandloss #puretransformations by @_puretransformations

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4 days ago

Sometimes Plan B brings unexpected possibilities.

I’m taking a little time to embrace one 💛

I’m heading to Greece for three weeks! First for some precious time travelling with my Dad, sister and brother. Since losing my Mum three years ago, time together feels that little bit more precious.

Then a gap unexpectedly appeared in my work calendar (the joys of self-employment 🙄) and rather than rushing to fill it, I thought…

What if I didn’t? 😱

So my husband is flying out to join me in a week’s time and we’re going island hopping for another two weeks.

For those of us who are childless not by choice, Plan B isn’t necessarily the life we would have chosen.

But I’m learning that we can grieve the life we thought we’d have and still allow ourselves to fall in love with parts of the life we have now.

I know this kind of spontaneity isn’t possible for everyone. But our unexpected possibilities don’t all have to look the same.

Sometimes it’s simply noticing what is possible and giving ourselves permission to say yes to it.

So, Pure Transformations is taking a little break. 🇬🇷

I’ll see you in three weeks.

Big hugs,
Karin 💛

#puretransformations #childlessnotbychoice #childless #lifeafterloss #planb by @_puretransformations

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25 days ago

It’s World Childless Week 💛

This week always gives me a reason to reflect on my own experience of being childless not by choice and on how much has changed since I first found this community.

I’m proud to have been a @worldchildlessweek Ambassador and to have contributed to a number of webinars, conversations and written pieces over the years.

Together with some wonderful people in the childless community, we explored topics that weren’t always easy to talk about openly, but very much needed to be:

🎥 Cancer and childlessness
🎥 Childlessness, diversity & inclusion in the workplace
🎥 The comments and assumptions that can hurt
🎥 Childlessness and sexual intimacy
🎥 Networking and meaningful professional connections
🎥 Childless vs childfree and why terminology matters
✍️ As well as reflections on friendship, grief, identity and navigating life without children.

Looking back reminds me why World Childless Week mattered so much to me then and still does.

Visibility matters. Language matters. Our experiences matter.

And if someone finds one of these conversations or pieces and thinks, “Oh, it isn’t just me,” then sharing them again is worthwhile.

🔗 I’ve gathered my World Childless Week contributions together, check the link in my bio.

Big shout out to everyone for having made these contributions possible!

Big hugs,
Karin 💛

#worldchildlessweek #childlessnotbychoice #childlessness #childlesscommunity #puretransformations by @_puretransformations

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a month ago

Lately I’ve been thinking about what happens when we start making room for more. Because something interesting seems to be happening as I am starting to push those walls out a little…

I’m noticing parts of me that want more space. Some are old parts I’m rediscovering, some feel newer. And some, I suspect, have been there all along, quietly waiting to be noticed.

More creativity. More adventure. More play. More curiosity about who I am now and what else might be possible.

My childless journey will always be part of me. It has shaped who I am in ways I’m probably still discovering. But perhaps growth is also about discovering everything else that is there…

Not replacing what was lost.
Not trying to become someone new.
Just allowing more of me to be seen and heard.

And I’m quite curious to see who else is in there…

Big hugs,
Karin 💛

#puretransformations #childlessnotbychoice #expansion #grief #healing by @_puretransformations

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a month ago

I’ve been thinking about how much time we can spend imagining things that haven’t happened yet. Especially the things we’re worried might happen.

Our brains are rather clever like that. They take what we know, what we’ve experienced and what we fear and create possible versions of what might come next.

We call it worry. But here’s the interesting bit; the brain networks involved in worry overlap with those we use to daydream, remember and imagine possible futures.

So the same mind that is incredibly good at imagining what could go wrong can also imagine what else could be possible.

Not positive thinking.
Not bypassing the difficult stuff.
And certainly not telling ourselves everything will be fine.

Just making room for more. More than one possible outcome. More than the story worry is currently telling us. More curiosity about what might be waiting on the other side of change.

And maybe this is where it connects with all my recent thinking about expansion…
Perhaps expansion isn’t always about doing more or becoming more. Sometimes it might simply be about allowing ourselves to imagine more.

Not silencing the worried part of us.
Just gently reminding it that it doesn’t have to be the only voice in the room. What else could be possible?

Big hugs,
Karin 💛

#puretransformations #expansion #possibility #transformation #personalgrowth by @_puretransformations

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2 months ago

Remembering @dollyparton her courage, generosity and the extraordinary legacy she leaves behind. 🤍

As a childless woman, I’ve always valued Dolly’s openness about the path her life took. She never allowed not having children to define what her life could be.

I know something of that myself. Being an aunt has been a wonderful gift, but my childlessness has also given me space to discover who I am, what matters to me and what I want to contribute to the world.

Dolly showed us that a woman’s life can take a different path and still be rich, purposeful and entirely her own.

What a life. What a legacy.
Thank you Dolly, for doing it your way. ✨

#PureTransformations #ChildlessNotLess #dollyparton by @_puretransformations

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2 months ago

I’ve been thinking a lot about expansion during my summer travels lately.

Not leaving things behind.
Not becoming someone else.

Just making room for more of who we already are.

There are a few things stirring for me at the moment and over the coming months I’m looking forward to sharing a little more with you.

For now, I’m staying curious.

And perhaps pushing the walls out a little…

Big hugs,
Karin

#PureTransformations #GriefAndLoss #Transformation #LifeAfterLoss #personalgrowth by @_puretransformations

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2 months ago

Today is World Cancer Survivors Day 🎗️

Fourteen years ago, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer.

At the time, my focus was simple: survive, and I did.

What I didn’t yet understand was that survivorship is about so much more than survival… Cancer saved my life, but it also changed it forever.

It meant losing my fertility, my womb and the future I had imagined as a mother. It meant learning to live with losses that aren’t always visible to others.

Over the years, I’ve learned that gratitude and grief can exist side by side.

I can be deeply grateful to be alive and still mourn what cancer took from me.

Today, I’m honoured to share my story in a guest blog for the National Cancer Survivors Day Foundation, where I reflect on what survivorship has meant to me and why it is about so much more than survival.

If you’d like to read it, you’ll find the link in my bio.

And to every cancer survivor reading this: your story matters. Not just the chapter about surviving, but everything that came after.

Lots of love, Karin 💛

#worldcancersurvivorsday #cancersurvivor #cervicalcancer #cancersurvivorship #healing by @_puretransformations

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4 months ago

Nine years ago today, this photo was taken outside the Catharina Cancer Centre.

I was waving goodbye after hearing the words I had waited so long to hear: I was officially in remission.

Five years earlier, cancer had entered my life unexpectedly and changed its course forever.

When I look at this photo today, I feel immense gratitude. Not because the journey was easy, it wasn’t. And not because life suddenly became smooth sailing after this moment, it didn’t.

Cancer impacted every part of my life. It changed my body, my future, my relationships, my priorities and ultimately led to the loss of my ability to have children. It also changed the path I would eventually choose to walk.

In many ways, @_puretransformations and @sacredchildlesswoman would not exist without that experience. The work I do today, supporting others through grief, loss, change and life’s unexpected turns, is a direct result of my own journey of learning how to live with what could not be changed.

I would never have chosen that path. But I have learned that even our deepest losses can shape us in ways we could never have imagined.

Today, I look back on this memory with appreciation for the medical teams who cared for me, for the people who stood beside me and for the strength I found when I thought I had none left.

Most of all, I am grateful to still be here.

Life may not have unfolded as I once imagined, but it is still a life filled with meaning, purpose, connection, and love.

And for that, I am deeply thankful. ❤️

#cancersurvivor #remission #gratitude #livingwithloss #puretransformations by @_puretransformations

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5 months ago