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Taylor Tarte

@_sweettarte_

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Just another blerd 🩷💜💙 🥊🥋🔫🤼‍♀️🏋🏾‍♀️ 🏥⚕️
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God’s plan>your plan. So smile through the pain. #fyp #thisis30 by @_sweettarte_

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7

6 months ago

I loved my dad and my dad loved me.

I tried to take some time to process the passing of my dad. I could not fathom the reality that sat before me. I could not let my brain and body experience the reality for fear that I’d have to face it and exist in it.

The night my dad went to the hospital, I felt something leave me. As I watched him be wheeled into the hospital and lay in his bed for four days, I couldn’t feel him. I prayed and asked God to not take him, but I didn’t hear from Him. I felt gutted. I still feel gutted. I lost my love.

I suddenly felt unprotected and alone. Because I lost his protection.

My father was a very popular man. And rightfully so. He was funny, smart, outgoing, and dutiful. He was like a magnet in every room that he walked in. And in his passing, I got to meet all the different people that he touched. I watched everyone, from the hospital, to the visitation, to the funeral, to the burial.

But all I wanted to do was to be alone with my dad. Because when it was just us, he was himself with me. And we could have our own thing, just between us. He would prioritize fun when we were together. And I think it was to distract from real life for a little bit. To enjoy the time that we had before he was placed back into the chaos of what I now know he experienced. I wish I could’ve pulled him away from it, had I known.

My dad made me a priority, in every stage of my life. Regardless of conflict, regardless of what other people said, regardless of who was in his life, regardless of family, even regardless of his own tough times, and he never regretted it. He loved me the best way that he could with the best intentions, and I loved him more than anything.

If ANYONE says anything different, they are lying and do not have good intentions. Those who knew him and truly respected him, know that as well. He did not play about me. I did not play about him. Do not play about us.

I love you dad, I know you said you believed that I would be ok. I’m not right now, but I will be because God is always with me and you are too. by @_sweettarte_

39

6

a year ago

Happy Father’s Day dad! I love the journey that we are on. Thankful to be able to connect with you more and more as we grow with each other. I’m excited about our future; and thankful for your wisdom, your tenacity, and support throughout my life. I love you very very much and I want nothing but happiness and peace for you, always. by @_sweettarte_

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1

3 years ago

Happy Mother's day to the one who always goes above and beyond for me. Even when I didn't deserve it. You deserve so much for all that you do! I love you so much mommy! From your "boo boo" 🤗 by @_sweettarte_

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1

5 years ago