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Stephanie Chow

@_yellowmountain

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In the Soundless End of the Year:

I’ve been passing the last few weeks of the year with brightness, clarity, and peace. Some days feel like 8am has stretched out across all the hours to nightfall, and even dusk dissipates and settles slowly like the dust of morning atoms. I savor each day with presence and quiet; with nothing in particular, to give myself more time and space. To settle my thoughts like mud in the river. To watch light spin off the water like a thousand stars.

As we close out the end of December, it might be tempting to review the hardships, anxiety, and confusion that swept the collective this year, but the inner journey often tells an entirely different story: of perseverance, growth, and joy in the face of extreme difficulties. Moments that seemed small begin to take on significant meanings. Things that were once important fall away without a sound.

We are here now in the soundless end of the year, making silent footfalls toward spring. If we look back at all, then I would encourage you to see all the growth you experienced this year: all the ways we changed, the new things we learned about ourselves, and the strength we discovered within. These lessons were not insignificant. They will show you more and more of yourself as time goes by, a window into all the ways you will continue to unfold. The greatest gift of a reflection is the opportunity to see yourself in all neutrality, all clarity: but we are the ones who must look into it with clear eyes. by @_yellowmountain

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6 years ago

A prayer for peace to arise in the hearts of all sentient beings. by @_yellowmountain

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4 years ago

Hong Kong lately, turning toward spring by @_yellowmountain

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4 years ago

Life has been simplifying for me lately. I only focus on a few things at a time. Gratitude fills the space that grows, and there is more beauty in the small things that others may find mundane. I am full of appreciation. by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

early evening walks along the harbor 💚 by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

clear water, mountain stream; wild hogs, and collecting water for tea 🪨 by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

Summer really slipped by this year. 💛 by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

early summer, storms hovering on the harbor by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

late spring, waiting for rain by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

Dear friends,

Like many others, I relate too well with the narrative of the Asian minority experience. Over the past few days, I wondered what I could share that might be beneficial to the healing of the community at large. I could tell you stories of what it was like growing up in an all-white community in Texas; I could tell you my experience of being hunted and pursued relentlessly like an object for my appearance. But to be honest, I have no desire to share those stories for the simple fact that they have no emotional hold over me, so talking about them feels kind of like telling you what grade I got in middle school. I assure you, they were formative events that helped shape me, but I do not want to recount things that might bring you sadness or disgust when I have long since moved on. There is a need for those kinds of stories to be told, but you have read many of them by now, and we have enough pain, sorrow, and grief to last us many lifetimes.

And then there are the other stories. For every story you hear, you can be sure there are 10 more of these hiding behind it. And how can we share those? Those are the ones etched in our DNA and buried deep in our bones. Those are the ones we hold so close to our hearts that they hold us. Those stories have no words: only fire. And that fire will engulf us if we give it too much oxygen. But they also burn in our marrow and give us strength. It is what drives us and motivates us; it is what we pour into our art, our music, our food, our work, and our communities: into all the ways we have to share the things for which there are no words.

(contd.) by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

Stillness of the Completed Heart:

Dear friends,

We are deep in the waters of Pisces season and there is no need to be surprised. For we may change with the seasons, but in Pisces we remember that we can also shift and shimmer like dawn spreading across the water in real time. There is no limit to our mutability; there is no limit to our capacity to change.

Lately as we move through the world and encounter things, things look back at us. Spring cradles hope of new beginnings, so we wonder: What is my spiritual responsibility? They respond: 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘵𝘢𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴, 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴, 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴. The crumbled edge of a paring knife, the mood in the air on an old road. The openness of the heart and communion of myself with Heaven, Earth, and all the ten thousand things. We are only here to live a short while, and while we’re here we might as well drink up everyone and everything. Might as well dunk ourselves in it too. To live a life without hesitation and not be so afraid of our feelings; because feelings are only what you make of them; and fear is just a construct; and the whole world has its arms wrapped around you. Singing soft tunes only you can hear.

So many of us are afraid of the dark and its mysteries. In darkness the world blends. At night we dissolve just a little. We might be afraid of losing ourselves, we might trip on something we didn’t see coming, and we might not even recognize our friends; but we also begin to see into the heart of things. And deep in the heart of things is where we face ourselves. In this place I wonder if you like what you feel? How comfortable are you with your own heart surrounding you? When it’s just you sitting alone with the world, what is the music that the whole world sings back to you? In all of my travels and all of my journeys across the inner sea, I found that there might be nothing more important than this: the song of the completed heart. by @_yellowmountain

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5 years ago

A couple words on Saturn and Aquarius! by @_yellowmountain

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6 years ago