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Ab Next Kya?

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Harassment doesn't end when the moment does.

In this clip, Marriam asks Aftab Shah (Consultant Psychologist) the question most people never get a straight answer to — how do you actually know what happened to you was harassment? And the answer isn't a dictionary definition.

The symptoms show up physically and psychologically, often before a person can even name what caused them. And the deepest impact isn't the moment itself — it's the loss of a basic sense of safety. One that often doesn't come back on its own.

Have you ever doubted whether what happened to you actually counted?

"The Crime We Don't Name" — Sexual Harassment, Cyber Crimes, and the Silence Around Both. Season 2's most direct episode yet, with Haad Paggawala (Barrister at Law) and Aftab Shah (Consultant Psychologist). Full conversation on YouTube, August 20th.

Set a reminder. This is the conversation most people avoid having — we didn't.

#AbNextKya #TheCrimeWeDontName #HarassmentAwareness #MentalHealthPakistan #Season2 #UnfilteredConversations #YouTubePakistan taken in Karachi کراچی by @abnextkya

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a month ago

Log kya kahenge has eaten through this society like deemak.

Marriam asks Haad Paggawala the question most people are too afraid to ask a lawyer directly — what actually happens when a client wants to back out of a harassment case, not because they don't have a case, but because of what people will say?

His answer isn't what you'd expect from someone whose job is to fight for them.

Full episode — "The Crime We Don't Name" — tomorrow, 4 PM, on YouTube.

#Pakistan #MentalHealthMatters #SocialIssues #AbNextKya #PakistaniPodcast #HarassmentAwareness
#LogKyaKahenge #TheCrimeWeDontName #HaadPaggawala #Aftabshah taken in Karachi کراچی by @abnextkya

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a month ago

Most people don’t know where to even start.

Aly asks Barrister Haad Paggawala the question that matters most once harassment has already happened — where do you actually report it?

His answer: it depends entirely on what kind. Harassed online? That’s FIA Cybercrime Wing territory. Harassed in person, at a mall or in public? That falls under the Pakistan Penal Code, and it starts at your local police station.

And if you don’t know any of this — you’re not alone, and you’re not without options. Google, AI, and free legal aid helplines exist for exactly this, and they’re more accessible than most people think.

Full episode — “The Crime We Don’t Name” — bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E01

Hosts: @alybalagamwala | @ahmed.marriam
Guests: @haadpaggawala | @aftab_psychologist
Video Direction: @pixelensofficial | @hibilicious_life

#MentalHealthMatters #SocialIssues #AbNextKya #PakistaniPodcast #harassmentawareness by @abnextkya

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a month ago

"I was a hot mess."

Marriam Ahmed — resilience coach, host, someone who has sat across from the hardest conversations — gets real about what her own transition actually looked like.

Messy. Challenging. Full of self-doubt. Questioning every decision, every choice, more times than she can count.

But here's what she discovered — the questioning wasn't the problem. It was the process. Every time she doubted herself, she got a little more clarity about who she actually was and what she actually needed.

Not by becoming aggressive. Not by becoming less sensitive. Not by suppressing who she was. But by building a healthier relationship — primarily with herself.

Yeh journey easy nahi thi. Magar yeh zaroor thi.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tumhara bhi koi aisa time tha jab sab kuch messy tha — lekin baad mein realize hua k woh zaroori tha? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #HealingIsMessy #EmotionalBlackmail #SelfDiscovery #HealthyBoundaries #PakistaniMentalHealth #season2

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healing journey messy, setting boundaries Pakistan, self doubt and clarity, healthy relationship with yourself, emotional growth, how healing actually feels, transition and self discovery, emotional blackmail recovery taken in Karachi کراچی by @abnextkya

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17 hours ago

"Main theek hoon."

Phir khamoshi.

Phir — "main ne kara kia hai."

Sound familiar?

Marriam Ahmed explains in Ab Next Kya? Season 2 — emotional blackmail never tells you directly what it wants. It makes you guess. And for every wrong guess — the guilt lands on you.

It's not solving the problem. It's not fixing anything. It's just creating a void. A space filled with eggshells you have to tiptoe around, guesses you get wrong, and guilt you never deserved to carry.

The easiest way out? Direct communication. But that's exactly what emotional blackmail avoids.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tumhari life mein bhi koi hai jo "main theek hoon" kehta hai — aur phir expect karta hai k tum samajh jao? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #ImFine #EmotionalBlackmail #SilentTreatment #PassiveAggression #PakistaniMentalHealth #Season2

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emotional blackmail communication, I'm fine silent treatment, guilt tripping in relationships, emotional manipulation Pakistan, passive aggression, making someone guess, how emotional blackmail works by @abnextkya

13

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3 days ago

Yeh sirf achay logon ke saath hi kyun hota hai?

Kyunki achay log — empaths — manipulation ke liye sabse zyada vulnerable hote hain. Weakness ki wajah se nahi. Empathy ki wajah se.

Marriam Ahmed busts the biggest myth around manipulation in Ab Next Kya? Season 2 — that only weak, unconfident, or oversensitive people get manipulated.

This assumption is dangerous. Because it makes us think the solution is to become harder. More assertive. Less feeling.

But the real issue? Jab koi apni emotional state tumhari zimmedaari bana deta hai — an empath absorbs it immediately. Instantly. Without even realizing it.

Aur phir hum poori dunya ka bojh uthane ke liye tayyar ho jaate hain.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tum empath ho? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #EmpathandManipulation #EmotionalBlackmail #WhyGoodPeopleGetManipulated #Empaths #PakistaniMentalHealth #season2

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why empaths get manipulated, emotional manipulation, empath and emotional blackmail, guilt transfer, people pleasing empaths, manipulation myths, emotional blackmail Pakistan, why good people get manipulated by @abnextkya

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5 days ago

The word itself isn't the hard part.

It's the silence that follows. The changed atmosphere. The guilt that gets handed back to you. The weeks of "main theek hoon" that clearly means anything but.

Hum apne ghar walon ko, apne doston ko disappoint karne se itna darte hain — that we spend our entire lives saying yes to things we never wanted to agree to.

And the tragedy isn't just the yes. It's everything we gave up to avoid the aftermath of a no.

Is this you? 👇

#AbNextKya #EmotionalBlackmail #WhyItsSoHardToSayNo #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #PakistaniMentalHealth #Season2 by @abnextkya

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6 days ago

Why is it so hard to say no?

It's not weakness. It's not selfishness. It's not even a personality trait.

It's conditioning.

Marriam Ahmed explains in Ab Next Kya? Season 2 — we absorb everything as children. How our parents respond to requests. How our friends navigate conflict. What our schools and social circles reward and punish. And somewhere in all of that absorption, a belief gets installed:

Saying no means disappointing someone. Disappointing someone means you did something wrong. And showing vulnerability — admitting you have a limit — makes you look weak.

So we say yes. Again and again. Until yes becomes the only answer we know how to give.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kyun mushkil hota hai no kehna — share karo apni wajah 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #WhyItsSoHardToSayNo #EmotionalBlackmail #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #PakistaniMentalHealth #Season2
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.why is it hard to say no, saying no in relationships, emotional blackmail Pakistan, people pleasing, childhood conditioning, fear of disappointing others, vulnerability and weakness, setting boundaries Pakistan taken in Karachi کراچی by @abnextkya

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7 days ago

Myth: Agar guilt feel ho raha hai — toh tumne zaroor kuch galat kiya hoga.

Reality: Kabhi kabhi guilt appropriate hoti hai. Aur kabhi kabhi — woh manufactured hoti hai.

Aly Balagamwala and Marriam Ahmed break it down in Episode 2 of Ab Next Kya? Season 2.

Hum mein se bohat log guilt feel karte hain jab bhi hum system ke against jaate hain. Jab hum na kehte hain. Jab hum disappoint karte hain.

Aur kyun? Kyun k kisi ne sikhaya — "tumne mujhe disappoint kiya" — aur phir woh guilt tumhara problem ban jaata hai. Tumhari zimmedaari. Tumhara bojh.

Lekin tumhara guilt feel karna yeh prove nahi karta k tumne kuch galat kiya. Yeh prove karta hai k tumhe guilt feel karana kisi k kaam aa gaya.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tumhara guilt kabhi manufactured tha? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex x
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio io

#AbNextKya #ManufacturedGuilt #EmotionalBlackmail #GuiltTripping #PakistaniMentalHealth #Season2 #Boundaries taken in Karachi کراچی by @abnextkya

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8 days ago

Usne apni saari zindagi di — apne ghar ko, apne bachon ko, apni family ko.

Har cheez unke liye. Har sacrifice unke naam.

Aur jab wo zaeef hua, jab kamana band hua — toh ghar mein ek sawal uthha:

"Ap humein hamara hissa den. Akhir apne hamare liye kiya kya?"

Yeh jumla sun ke kuch toot jaata hai.

Marriam Ahmed shares in Ab Next Kya? Season 2 — ap jitna chahen apni saari zindagi apne ma baap ki khidmat karen, ap unka ehsaan nahi utar sakte. Aur jo log ehsaan ko hisaab mein badal dete hain — woh emotional blackmail ka sabse dardnaak roop hai.

Full episode — "Emotional Blackmail: When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tumne kabhi kisi ko apne walden se yeh kehte suna hai? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #ApHumeinHamaraHissaDen #EmotionalBlackmail #PakistaniFamily #ParentingSacrifice #Season2 #FamilyDynamics by @abnextkya

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11 days ago

Emotional blackmail doesn't always sound like a threat.

It doesn't need to be loud. It doesn't need to be obvious.

All it needs to do is make you feel responsible for someone else's emotional state.

Marriam Ahmed breaks it down in Episode 2 of Ab Next Kya? Season 2 — the moment someone shifts their pain onto you and makes you carry it as your own. That guilt you feel when you try to say no? That heaviness when someone is upset and you automatically assume it's your fault?

That's not love. That's a transfer of responsibility you never agreed to.

"Emotional Blackmail — When Love Starts Feeling Like a Debt" — Episode 2 out now on YouTube.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E02

Kya tumne kabhi kisi ki emotional state ka bojh feel kiya? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex ex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #EmotionalBlackmail #WhenLoveFeelsLikeADebt #PakistaniMentalHealth #Boundaries #Season2 #ToxicRelationships by @abnextkya

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13 days ago

Your boss does something inappropriate.

In that split second — your body makes a decision you didn't get to vote on.

You freeze. What just happened?
You fight. Main chamaat maar donga.
You flee. Main kal resignation de donga.
Or you fawn.

Fawning — girgirana — is the response nobody talks about. You come back the next day. You smile. You act like nothing happened. Not because you're okay. But because some part of you decided that was the safest way to survive.

Consultant Psychologist Aftab Shah explains why all four responses are valid — and why fawning is often mistaken for weakness when it's actually a survival mechanism.

Full episode — "The Crime We Don't Name" — out now.
▶️ bit.ly/abnextkyaS02E01

Which response have you experienced? Freeze, fight, flight or fawn? 👇

Hosts: @ahmed.marriam | @alybalagamwala
Guests: Aftab Shah | @haadpaggawala
Editor: @pixelensofficial
Production Partner: @syahimpex
Social Media Partner: @socialsyntaxstudio

#AbNextKya #FightFlightFreeze #FawnResponse #HarassmentAwareness #TraumaResponse #PakistaniMentalHealth #Season2 #GirgiranaExplained by @abnextkya

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15 days ago