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Adrienne Sharee | Survivor Advocate

@adrienne_sharee_

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💛 Friday — Discernment Builds Doors; Fear Builds Walls

After you’ve been hurt, building walls can feel like the safest option.

“Nobody gets close enough to hurt me again.”

And that response deserves compassion.

But eventually, healing may invite us to build something different.

Not walls.

Doors.

Because doors can stay closed when necessary.

They can open slowly.

They can allow someone into one space without giving them access to every room.

And they can close again when something no longer feels safe.

That’s what discernment can begin to look like.

It doesn’t mean you’ll never misjudge someone.

It doesn’t guarantee you’ll never experience disappointment again.

It means you’re learning to pay attention.

To patterns.

To consistency.

To how your boundaries are treated.

To how someone handles the parts of you they’ve already been trusted with.

Healing doesn’t have to mean “I’ll never let anyone in again.”

And it doesn’t have to mean “I’ll trust everyone until they give me a reason not to.”

There is space between the two.

And that’s where discernment lives. by @adrienne_sharee_

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8 hours ago

🔵 Thursday — “Compliance Isn’t Culture Change”

Tuesday focused on the person resisting change. Today turns toward leadership, because leaders can respond to resistance by simply requiring everyone to comply.

But someone can follow the new procedure without ever changing the way they think about the person in front of them.

Training completed. ✔️

Policy updated. ✔️

Procedure implemented. ✔️

But has the culture actually changed?

Trauma-informed transformation can’t be measured only by whether people comply with a new process.

We also have to pay attention to the beliefs, behaviors and everyday interactions surrounding it.

What does leadership model?

What happens under pressure?

What behaviors get rewarded?

What gets corrected?

What do employees say when leadership isn’t in the room?

And most importantly:

What are the people we serve actually experiencing?

Policies matter.

Training matters.

Procedures matter.

But trauma-informed care becomes culture when the values underneath those things begin influencing how people respond—even when nobody is reminding them to.

Compliance can implement a policy.

Culture sustains a practice.

#HEARTFramework #TraumaInformedLeadership #TraumaInformedCare #CultureChange #OrganizationalCulture by @adrienne_sharee_

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a day ago

🌿 Wednesday — Privacy Isn’t the Same as Hiding

We’ve talked a lot about removing the mask.

But removing the mask doesn’t mean everyone gets access to everything underneath it.

There’s a difference between secrecy rooted in shame and privacy rooted in choice.

You can be authentic and private.

You can be healed and selective.

You can be honest without telling everyone everything.

Your story belongs to you.

You get to decide:

What you share.

When you share it.

How much you share.

And who gets to hear it.

You don’t have to disclose your deepest experiences to prove that you’re no longer ashamed of them.

Sometimes healing looks like finally realizing:

“This is my story, and I get to decide who I invite into it.” by @adrienne_sharee_

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2 days ago

🔵 Tuesday — “But We’ve Always Done It This Way”

“We’ve always done it this way.”

Sometimes that’s tradition.

Sometimes it’s familiarity.

And sometimes it’s an invitation to examine something we’ve stopped questioning.

Trauma-informed change can challenge long-standing processes, habits and assumptions.

Resistance doesn’t automatically mean someone doesn’t care.

But it does give us something worth exploring:

What are we protecting—the effectiveness of the process, or simply its familiarity?

Organizations don’t need to change every long-standing practice simply because it’s old.

But we should remain willing to ask whether our practices still align with what we now understand about trauma, dignity, choice and the experiences of the people we serve.

Longevity isn’t the same as effectiveness.

#HEARTFramework #TraumaInformedCare #TraumaInformedLeadership #OrganizationalChange #SystemsChange by @adrienne_sharee_

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3 days ago

🔵 Monday — Access Is Earned, Not Owed

Not everyone needs the same level of access to you.

Someone can know you without knowing everything about you.

You can care about someone without sharing every vulnerable part of your story.

You can love someone and still recognize that there are places within you they haven’t earned access to.

Because access and love are not the same thing.

Trust grows through consistency.

How someone handles your no.

How they respond to vulnerability.

Whether their words and actions align.

Whether you feel respected when you disagree.

Whether what you share with them is treated with care.

Healing doesn’t require you to close everyone out.

But it can teach you that opening the door doesn’t mean handing everyone a key. by @adrienne_sharee_

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4 days ago

💛 Friday — Receiving Support Doesn’t Take Away Your Strength

Maybe you’re really good at being the person everyone calls.

You listen.

You encourage.

You show up.

You figure things out.

But when someone asks,

“What do you need?”

the answer becomes much harder.

Receiving support can feel vulnerable—especially when you’ve learned that being strong means needing very little from anyone.

But healthy support doesn’t take away your strength.

It doesn’t take away your voice.

It doesn’t require someone else to rescue you or take over your life.

Sometimes it simply means allowing someone safe to walk beside you while you continue taking the steps.

You haven’t failed because you need support.

You haven’t gone backward because you need help again.

And healing doesn’t require you to eventually become someone who needs no one.

Maybe part of living fully is learning that you were never supposed to do all of it alone. by @adrienne_sharee_

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7 days ago

🔵 Thursday — “Stop Calling Workarounds Culture Change”

Now we’re going to push the leaders a little. 😆

Because Tuesday encourages the individual professional to identify what they can influence—but Thursday makes sure organizations don’t use exceptional employees as a substitute for fixing broken systems.

Sometimes the people keeping a system functioning are also unintentionally hiding where it’s failing.

They create workarounds.

Make exceptions.

Stay longer.

Find another route.

And because the outcome eventually looks successful, leadership may never see what it required to get there.

Trauma-informed leadership requires us to look beyond outcomes and examine the experience of getting there.

Ask your teams:

What are you constantly having to work around in order to serve people well?

The answer may reveal more about your organizational culture than another survey ever could.

Celebrate employees who go above and beyond.

But don’t build a system that requires them to.

#HEARTFramework #TraumaInformedLeadership #TraumaInformedCare #OrganizationalCulture #SystemsChange by @adrienne_sharee_

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8 days ago

🌿 Wednesday — Asking for Help Before You’re Overwhelmed

What if you didn’t wait until you were overwhelmed to ask for help?

What if you didn’t have to reach your breaking point first?

Sometimes we’ve learned that support is only justified when we absolutely cannot do something ourselves.

So we push.

And push.

And push.

Until there’s nothing left.

But one sign of growth can be recognizing your needs sooner.

“I’m getting tired.”

“I’m carrying too much.”

“I need someone to listen.”

“I need help with this.”

“I think I need more support than I currently have.”

You don’t have to prove that you’ve exhausted yourself before you’re allowed to receive care.

Sometimes healing sounds like:

“I could probably keep carrying this alone—but I don’t think I should.” by @adrienne_sharee_

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9 days ago

🔵 Tuesday — “What If You Know Better, But Your System Doesn’t?”

One of the hardest places to practice trauma-informed care can be inside a system that hasn’t fully embraced it yet.

You may recognize problems you don’t have the authority to fix.

That can leave professionals feeling powerless—or believing their individual efforts don’t matter.

But there is space between “I can’t change everything” and “there’s nothing I can do.”

What is within your influence?

Your language.

Your explanation.

The choices you offer.

The assumptions you challenge.

The patterns you document.

The concerns you raise.

The way someone experiences you.

Individual practice doesn’t replace organizational change.

But sometimes individual practice is where organizational change begins.

#HEARTFramework #TraumaInformedCare #TraumaInformedLeadership #SystemsChange #SurvivorCenteredCare by @adrienne_sharee_

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10 days ago

🔵 Monday — “I Can Handle It” Doesn’t Always Mean “I Should Handle It Alone”

You probably can handle it.

That’s what makes this conversation difficult.

You’ve figured things out before.

You’ve carried heavy things.

You’ve found a way when there didn’t seem to be one.

So when something happens, your automatic response may be:

“I’ve got it.”

But healing has taught me to ask another question:

Just because I can carry this by myself, does that mean I have to?

Strength isn’t only demonstrated by how much you can hold.

Sometimes strength is recognizing that you don’t need to hold everything alone.

You can be capable and supported.

Independent and connected.

Strong and willing to receive help.

Those things can exist together. by @adrienne_sharee_

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11 days ago

💛 Friday — You Don’t Owe Anyone a Healed Version of You

You don’t owe anyone a performance of healing.

You don’t have to pretend something doesn’t hurt because enough time has passed.

You don’t have to hide a difficult day so people will believe you’ve made progress.

You don’t have to constantly demonstrate how strong you’ve become.

And you don’t have to share every part of your healing to prove you’re doing the work either.

Your healing does not require an audience.

You can be growing and still struggle.

Strong and still need support.

Thriving and still have triggers.

Hopeful and still have hard days.

Healing isn’t becoming a version of yourself that makes everyone else comfortable with your story.

It’s becoming increasingly able to live your life without abandoning yourself in the process.

And you don’t have to prove that to anyone. by @adrienne_sharee_

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14 days ago

🔵 Thursday — “What Will People Experience Because You Know Better?”

52 weeks. One question.

What will someone experience differently because of what we now know?

Over this past year, we’ve talked about trauma, disclosures, language, choice, trust, power, systems, leadership, organizational culture, burnout, compassion and the responsibility we have to one another.

But knowledge was never the destination.

People were.

The patient.

The survivor.

The community member.

The employee.

The coworker.

The person whose story we know—and the person whose story we may never know.

H.E.A.R.T. is ultimately about bringing humanity into the way we respond.

And while this marks Week 52, the work doesn’t end here.

There will always be another opportunity to listen differently.

To lead differently.

To respond differently.

To create safety.

To restore choice.

To see the person before the problem.

So I’ll end this year where I believe trauma-informed care really begins:

How will people experience us?

Thank you for spending these 52 weeks having this conversation with me.

Now let’s keep doing the work. When you know better we ought to do better.

#HEARTFramework #TraumaInformedCare #TraumaInformedLeadership #SurvivorCenteredCare by @adrienne_sharee_

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15 days ago