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AFL RUMOURS CONFIRMED

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BREAKING NEWS: After the heavy trauma of dwarfie time in the grand final, Justin has decided to leave Freo and join his brother Mr John Long Myer at Essendon in an unspecified role.

When asked his reasoning for the move he stated, "I thought long and hard about this for 25 minutes and realised I wanted to join my big brother at Essendon. I've not had a lot of fun in my life. It's time to put the past behind me and help the Bombers suck ass less."

#essendon by @aflrumoursconfirmed

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10 hours ago

Brisbane small man Dwayne Zorko and Irish leprechaun Conor Mcgregor spent Friday night conjuring demonic magic to turn Wharfie Time into Dwarfie Time. The goal? To shrink the hopes of Freo players to the size of a pea.

The small and angry former captain came up with the idea playing mario kart. "I did the lightning strike and saw all the players shrink, and that's when the idea came to me."

Knowing his very Irish colleague Mcgregor's roots in magic and sorcery, he asked him to conjure a spell. The result? A 3rd premiership. #afl #aflnews #wharfietime by @aflrumoursconfirmed

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a day ago