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Lay 𖡼.𖤣𖥧𖡼.𖤣𖥧

@al4yni

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❤️❤️ my beautiful lady by @al4yni

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9 months ago

Oh my sweet sweet mommy. A life without you is not a life I wanted to ever live. I miss your voice. I miss your smile. I miss everything about you and it makes my heart ache so deeply. To lose dad and you a year apart from one another is something I could've never expected. No love in the entire world will ever compare to the love you gave. You are the brightest in every room you walked in. Your presence was always felt. Always cherished. You're so loved by so many people. I'll spend a lifetime and on missing you & remembering everything about you. There is a deep grief that I've never experienced before, but that simply means there is a deep love only you could offer. I hold this sadness so close to my heart because that just means you were here. You were always present. I will forever & ever endure this grief because that's what matters. A beautiful soul like yours could never be forgotten. Mommy I'm not sure how I'll truly be able to live without you so I hope you & dad watch over me and help me. Just like you both did while you were here. I am 50% of u and 50% of dad and that's the most beautiful thing you guys have ever given me. I will always look for u in my smile. In my laugh. In my cries. My mommy if u could hold me just one more time💔💔 you're the one person I'd cry in front of man my heart is so completely broken. I unknowingly started mourning the loss of u when I lost dad but I never could've imagined it'd feel anything like this. Your absence is the heaviest weight I have ever and WILL ever carry. My sweet sweet mommy... I hope u knew how much I loved u. I hope u knew u were never lonely with me. I hope u knew that when u didn't feel seen, I was always seeing u anyways. I pray I wake up next to u from crawling in ur bed the night before..from this nightmare 💔🙁 If flowers grow in heaven god please give my mommy a bouquet and let her know they're from me. Give her a kiss on her cheek like she always did for me and tell her I will never stop living for her. Sweet Amber Dawn, my beautiful angel oh how I'll never be the same again. by @al4yni

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9 months ago

Today i found out my dad passed away.
I could honestly go on and on for days on end about the type of guy my dad was, but unfortunately time is limited. My dad was one of the most important people in my entire life. I'm picky when it comes to who i spend my time with but i 100% could have spent each and every waking moment with him. He was so genuine and such a good man. He was the type of dad a lot of people wished they could've had. When i was a little girl, whenever i got cold, he'd let me hug him from the inside of his shirt. He'd let me take the hat off of his head if i even said anything about liking it. Every single morning he would text me the exact same thing. "Have a good day today, i love you". I even got that same exact text this morning from him before i found out the devastating news. My heart can't comprehend what's going on, but it knows it's broken. How am i supposed to live the rest of my life knowing I'll never get a hug from him again? I'll never get another nosey nose. Another lunch date at his favorite restaurant. Another birthday dinner. He will never get to meet my future kids. We just talked about how he's excited to walk me down the aisle one day. My heart is so heavy. I wish i could come up with the right words to explain how delicate time is. I always planned to give my son his middle name and surprise him, and now I'll never get to see the look on his face when that happens. Nobody ever prepares you for what it's like to lose a parent. He always told me i was his twin, and i will forever hold that so close to my heart. If anyone actually read this all the way through, please hug your parents. Please do that thing they've been wanting to do. Please call them before you go to bed. Please let go of the grudge and remember they are trying their best for you. All of these things i took for granted i will regret for the rest of my life. Love on your parents, it's their first time living too.
I love you so much dad, i will never heal from this.💔 by @al4yni

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2 years ago

Beautiful faces and awesome places by @al4yni

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4 days ago

South Carolinamaxxing by @al4yni

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2 months ago

Just me again by @al4yni

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3 months ago

4/20-4/24 by @al4yni

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5 months ago

Swimmin taken in Nokomis Beach, Florida by @al4yni

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6 months ago

FREEZE!!!! NYPD (New York photo dump) taken in New York City by @al4yni

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7 months ago

State of mind by @al4yni

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7 months ago

Some throwbacks w my angel 🪽 by @al4yni

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7 months ago

My sweet mommy… I know if you were with me right now, you’d tell me to keep being who you raised me to be. You’d tell me to keep living my life and doing the things that I love. You’d give me a hug and a kiss on my cheek like you always did. But you’re not here anymore, and neither is the girl you raised me to be. One half of me got taken away when dad passed away, and now the other half of me is gone to heaven with it. I wish so badly I could lay to rest with you this one last time, but I’m determined to take the pieces of you that you instilled in me and become the woman you worked so hard to raise. I love you more than you loved Diet Coke, crazy patterns & colors, and of course.. Snapchat filters, and that is a lot of love. I pray you and dad are together once again, proud of yourselves for bringing such amazing people together to grieve you in the way we do because grief is just love that no longer has a home. Where there is deep grief, there is great love. If grief is what I have to endure for simply loving you, then I can live peacefully knowing that everyone here loved you well. The warmth of my mom now lives only in my memory, and it’s the only thing that keeps the cold of her absence from breaking me. Her love still lies in my heart and in my mind. It is woven into who I am, how I love, and how I show up in the world. Everything is quieter without her, emptier somehow, and not bright anymore, but I will carry her warmth with me as I learn how to keep going in a life that no longer has her in it. Life will move forward, but a part of me will always be standing right here, wishing I could have one more moment with you. I love you my sweet mommy. I always will.

That was the end of my speech I wrote for my mom at her funeral and it was the hardest part for me to read. Like i said before, please hug on ur parents yall. It's their first time living too. Let go of that grudge. Love loudly no matter what. I miss you both forever mom & dad 🫶🏽 by @al4yni

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9 months ago