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Aliza | BRCA 1+ Previvor & Advocate | Hereditary Cancer Gene

@alizafriedlander

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Sharing my experiences first, so you feel confident going next. Building community in public. 39. Mom x3
Living in the gray; working to be OK w/ that

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This is what it looks like when you stop treating your experiences like a footnote.

For as long as I can remember, I believed my experiences weren’t enough to claim as expertise. I didn’t think I had the right credentials or had spent enough time in a traditional work setting to stand out in a crowd.

I’ve spent years scrolling through social media, watching people I follow grow quickly… always judging myself for not being able to do the same.

💛 I can spot someone else’s secret sauce, superpower and the experiences that make them an expert from a mile away. I’ve built my career on it.

But I’ve never been able to do it for myself.

Not because I don’t have the skills… but because it turns out I was wrong about what made me an expert.

💛 Those personal experiences ARE my superpower. They are the reason I’m so good at helping founders and mission-driven leaders with their human-centered communications strategies.

If you’re a founder who came here looking for PR help, I see you.

🗞️ PR is one piece of a much bigger strategy. And the foundation of that strategy isn’t a tactic or a channel.
It’s your experience.

Your story isn’t a side note to your thought leadership.
It IS the thought leadership.

Tell me yours. I’m listening.

You’re in the right place.

💛 Name it. Claim it. Use it.

#communicationsstrategy #thoughtleadership #publicrelations #humancenteredleadership #NAMEitCLAIMitUSEit by @alizafriedlander

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4 months ago

I’ve been sitting on this story for years. Not because I didn’t want to share it but because I was scared to put myself out there.

I’m a professional communicator who has spent her entire life downplaying my own story. Unable to do for myself what I do for my clients.

Recently, I’ve wanted to share more because the risk of NOT sharing is starting to feel greater than the risk of sharing.

Over the years, I’ve seen firsthand that when someone shares their real experience, bodies relax and people lean in. It gives everyone else permission to talk about themselves. After all, that’s what we all want. To feel like our experience matters.

So here’s me starting to share. This is my first video of this style. It took me two weeks to edit because I’m still learning. And I’m posting it anyway, because vulnerability is not the point. It’s the tool we use to grow, connect and influence others.

I always say, no one likes an easy success story. And sharing is not easy. But it’s necessary.

This account is where I’m going to start practicing what I preach. I’m going to try and learn in public. And collect real data on what lands and what doesn’t.

Name It. Claim It. Use It.

That’s the framework. More on that soon.

#previvor #brca1 #healthcommunication #mediapro #communicationsstrategy by @alizafriedlander

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4 months ago

I spent 10 years thinking about getting tested for the BRCA1 genetic mutation.

Based on my family history and my experiences, I wasn’t ready to get tested in 2013. I was only 26 and didn’t have life insurance.

At that time a positive mutation was grounds to deny life insurance. I wanted to breastfeed my babies if I could. I didn’t want to spend my 20s and early 30s paralyzed with fear.

So I waited. Until 2023, when everything changed. In October, my 32-year-old sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had done everything right. Testing. Surveillance. Mammograms and MRIs every 6 months. For 10 years.

It didn’t matter.

I got tested in December 2023 and learned I was BRCA1+. Less than 12 weeks later I had a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy.

I didn’t let myself think too hard. If I had, I would have chickened out.

Two years later, I’m still processing all of it. The grief and the relief. There is a strange guilt of feeling sad about a decision that significantly reduced my risk of cancer.
I feel badly about mourning something while knowing how lucky I was to have the option to mourn it.

It’s taken me this long to start sharing. Not because I haven’t wanted to but because I’ve spent my life believing no one cared about my experiences. I thought sharing was soft data, anecdotal and not quite enough.

This is me deciding it’s enough.

Not because I have a study to cite. Because somewhere out there someone is sitting with exactly what I just described. And they shouldn’t have to sit with it alone.

Your experience is your expertise. Not a footnote or an asterisk but the whole story.

Someone out here needs to hear this. And I want to listen. Tell me your story.

#brca1 #geneticmutation #previvor #communications #advocates by @alizafriedlander

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5 months ago

I’ve had a hard time explaining what it feels like to be thrown into surgically-induced menopause overnight to prevent ovarian cancer.

And what it’s like getting a preventative double mastectomy to prevent breast cancer.

On the outside I look completely fine. My complete hysterectomy was minimally invasive. I only had 4 very small incisions.

Physically, not a huge deal. Emotionally, I’ve had a tough time with this one. It’s changed so much about me on the inside. I had 4 organs removed (uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes & cervix).

💛 The finality of never being pregnant again has been tough. I’m grateful for my three beautiful daughters and grieving the end of this baby-making chapter.

💕 I’m struggling with word retrieval. I can see the words in my brain yet can’t find the word to say out loud.

💛 My memory is shit. Like there are times when I have zero recollection of what’s being said to me. I’ve forgotten more things these past 8 months than I’d like to admit.

The person I was before I found out I was BRCA 1+ is not the same person I became after.

💛 I thought I’d feel complete relief and yet I am still worried about that very small chance I could still get breast cancer. (I am not worried about ovarian cancer anymore which I feel grateful about).

💕 My chest is completely numb and yet I think about my boobs every day. There are weird sensations and discomfort when my toddler lies on me in the wrong place.

💛 I feel grateful I had a choice to have surgeries before getting cancer and yet I find myself grieving the body I used to have.

There are so many contradicting feelings that coexist. There is a before me and after me from this entire thing.

💛 If you’re in it … processing some before and after … you’re not alone. This is not easy … and you don’t have to go through any of it by yourself.

#brca1 #previvor #worldmenopauseday #breastcancerawarenessmonth #brca by @alizafriedlander

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9 hours ago

Stage 4 needs more.

Before 2019, I was guilty of blindly jumping on the October pink bandwagon. Even with everything I knew as a journalist & someone with a family history of a hereditary cancer gene … I didn’t know about this.

I had no idea that metastatic breast cancer research was underfunded.

That women who are diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer are left out of so many of the conversations when it comes to breast cancer awareness.

That ~115 women die from metastatic breast cancer every single day.

In October 2019, I had the honor of getting to know two mothers with metastatic breast cancer.

These women opened my eyes. It’s been 7 years. And we are still having the exact same conversations.

Metastatic breast cancer is still underfunded.

Women are still dying.

And we still do not have a cure.

Right now, breast cancer is treatable. It is not curable. Don’t confuse the two.

When I learned about this … I couldn’t unhear it. I hope you won’t be able to unhear it too.

And if you are looking for a place to support this type of research, @metavivor is leading the way in this work.

To all the thrivers out there … I see you. You deserve better. And I will work every day to advocate for modernized treatments, newer options and FUNDING for stage 4.

Sometimes as a journalist, you write a piece that changes you to the core. This story and these women were that for me.

#stage4needsmore #metastaticbreastcancer #breastcancerawareness #breastcancerawarnessmonth #metastaticbreastcancerawarenessday by @alizafriedlander

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5 days ago

Former morning show producer over here. Put me in a control room or behind the scenes in a newsroom and I’m in my element.

Being ON camera in the newsroom was definitely something new. But it was a goal I had. I pitched my story and wanted to step outside my comfort zone … because the story is too important not to share.

And it was invigorating.

💛 I’m grateful I could share my story about being BRCA 1+ and the support/comfort I’ve found.

💕 Sharing about our Sisterhood of the Traveling Mastectomy Robe, with my sister and dear friend there cheering me on was a moment I’ll remember forever.

💛 And for anyone going through it now … this is a sisterhood that sees you and is here for you. You’re in the right place.

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If you’re new here .. Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#brca #brca1 #mastectomy #previvor #breastcancerawarenessmonth by @alizafriedlander

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6 days ago

“The Sisterhood of the Traveling (Mastectomy) Robe”

Sometimes the smallest gestures have the biggest impact. And that is what I’ve learned with this robe.

💛 I got this robe passed to me from my dear friend, just days before my preventative double mastectomy. Multiple women wore it before me.

6 weeks after having my surgery… I had a total meltdown. I sat on my front stoop, with my friend, crying. I was wrapped in the robe.

💕 In that moment, weeks after the surgery, I needed comfort. And I got it from this robe. As soon as I put it on, I knew I wasn’t alone. It was a warm hug from the women who had walked this path before me. A reminder that this journey is complicated … and that I’m not alone.

Since then, we’ve passed with robe to others who are undergoing mastectomies. It’s our love letter to them. A reminder that they are not alone. That none of us are.

💛 So far, everyone who has worn this robe has been 40 or under. The face of women undergoing mastectomies is changing.

It’s why we need to get modernized treatment options and find a cure. We still don’t have that. And until then … this sisterhood will continue to grow.

I can’t wait for the day that we can retire the robe … because that will mean no more women need it.

For now … if you’re seeing this, I hope you know you are not alone. The before and after is complicated and there is a sisterhood here for you no matter what.
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If you’re new here .. Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#brca #brca1 #mastectomy #previvor #breastcancerawarenessmonth by @alizafriedlander

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7 days ago

Breast Cancer Awareness Month is one of the main reasons we have the treatment options we have today.

AND we can’t get complacent. Our work is nowhere near done. I want my daughters to have the most cutting-edge options.

My hope is that all awareness leads to more action and is a catalyst for systematic change.

So, here is what I’d love to see ASAP:

💛 modernized treatments
💛newer options

And most importantly:

💛 a cure

Our families deserve that.
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If you’re new here .. Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#brca #brca1 #breastcancerawarenessmonth #breastcancerawareness #previvor by @alizafriedlander

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10 days ago

Note to self: always being someone with you to the appointments where you’re discussing surgical options to prevent cancer.

🧬 Iwent to my first surgical gynecological appointment alone. Honestly, I didn’t even process what we would be talking about until AFTER the appointment.

I thought I could handle it. And I could. But it would have been less overwhelming and exhausting if I had someone there as a second set of ears.

By the time we started talking about my options … my brain was checked out. I was SO tired from the mental energy I exerted before the appointment started. Hello anxiety.

All this to say… if I were doing it again… I’d make sure to have a support person come to every appointment with me. Even if I could do it alone, I wouldn’t.

💛 It will never be a bad thing having someone that isn’t you listening in … especially when it’s something as big as deciding what body parts to remove.

I was already trying to process the loss … I needed the help processing the logistics, big medical words and all different options I could pick from.

I’d love for you to stick around … we can have all the feelings together.

The next unscripted & unfiltered video are my inner thoughts 1 week before having my hysterectomy and oophorectomy (aka removing my uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes & cervix).
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If you’re new here .. Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#brca #brca1 #previvor #hysterectomy #breastcancerawarenessmonth by @alizafriedlander

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12 days ago

My first live, on-air segment and I got to share it with some of my favorite people in the world.

Being back in the newsroom made me so happy. Having the opportunity to share what it’s like as a BRCA 1+ previvor and the “sisterhood of the traveling robe” was so special.

I’m so used to being the scenes… producing the segment, the control room and the writing that this felt scary and overwhelming.

And now … I just want to do it again. Thank you @mindybasarawbaltv11 and @wbaltv11 for sharing this story and for making today such a special moment for all of us.

And if you’re going through breast cancer treatment, have had surgeries, or are a previvor looking for a sisterhood … you’re in the right place.

This may seem like just a robe … but it’s my reminder that I’m not alone. And neither are you.

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If you’re new here ... Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#breastcancerawarenessmonth #brca1 #previvor #mastectomy #hysterectomy by @alizafriedlander

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13 days ago

This surgery felt so much heavier to me than my mastectomy.

Maybe it’s because no one in my family has ever had any gynecological cancers.

Maybe it’s because I was putting myself into menopause at 39-years-old.

Maybe it’s because of the sadness that with the reality this surgery closes the fertility chapter of my life. I’m blessed with 3 beautiful daughters, we were done with having kids AND this makes this all permanent.

💛 Whatever the reasons … I’m sure others here feel these emotions when going through surgeries.

💛 And if you do, I hope you know you’re not alone.

Next up: my inner thoughts after the first appointment. Unscripted & Unfiltered.

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If you’re new here .. Hi! I’m Aliza … a 39-year-old mom of 3 girls. This past year put myself into surgically induced menopause after going through all preventative surgery to reduce my risk of cancer.

#brca #brca1 #hysterectomy #mastectomy #previvor by @alizafriedlander

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14 days ago

My mastectomy was in March.

My sister’s was in November.

My friends’ were in April, and September and June.

Breast cancer doesn’t start on October 1 and end October 31st. It’s a year-round thing for previvors, survivors, thrivers and everyone who loves them.

The awareness from October has led to so many amazing treatments and has been a reason so much money goes to research.

💛 AND it’s a complicated month for families like mine; whose lives feel consumed by the disease … or the possibility of getting the disease.

During this month, we also have to make sure we are raising awareness for all the women living with stage IV breast cancer. There is still no cure.

My hope & goal is that all the awareness leads to year-round action. And is a catalyst for modernized treatments, more funding for research, and ultimately a cure we all so desperately want & need.

Drop a 💕 if this resonates.

#brca #breastcancerawarenessmonth #previvor #brca1 #mastectomy by @alizafriedlander

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14 days ago