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Ancestral Memory Therapy & consultation

@ancestralmemorytherapy

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EMDR, CPT, ADHD, and somatic therapy
No waitlist virtual therapy (Ontario)
📍in person therapy Toronto & Hamilton 👉🏿this account is not therapy

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Are you looking for a new therapist? A therapist who is committed to liberation work? Then Willow is your therapist! Willow is a fantastic somatic, dreamwork, and Brainspotting therapist. If you are interested in meeting Willow, book a free phone consultation. Link is in the bio. #ontariotherapist by @ancestralmemorytherapy

I enjoy working with creative, neurodivergent, queer, and gender-diverse folks who are navigating identity, relationships, and the pressures of living outside of normative expectations and lifestyles. Many of the people I support are self-reflective and growth-oriented, yet still find themselves feeling stuck or repeating familiar patterns. I’m especially drawn to working with those who long for deep connection but sometimes find themselves slipping into caretaking roles or relying on humor, distraction, intellectualization, and other well-earned strategies for navigating discomfort and staying safe. Often, these patterns reflect adaptations to attachment wounds and formative relational experiences such as parentification, emotional neglect, or chronic shame. Our work often centers on creating more space for authenticity, connection, and belonging – in relationships, community, and within the wider webs of care that sustain us.
Meet Nikki Tollenaar Registered Psychotherapist Qualifying
Accepting New Clients by @ancestralmemorytherapy

Meet David Da Silva He/Him/They/Them
My approach is grounded in anti-oppressive, decolonial, and person-centred practices. I strive to cultivate a therapeutic relationship built on warmth, curiosity, collaboration, and humour, recognizing that healing does not have to happen in isolation. I view clients as the experts of their own lives and work alongside them to explore new perspectives, deepen self-understanding, and move towards meaningful change. I believe healing involves reconnecting with ourselves in ways that feel authentic, empowering, liberating, and aligned with our values.
Link in bio by @ancestralmemorytherapy

What depression can look like in Black women who get everything done 🖤

It doesn’t always look like staying in bed. Sometimes it looks like the woman who never misses a deadline, shows up for everyone, and still feels empty when the day is done.

Here’s what it can look like:

Irritability. Everything gets on your nerves. The noise, the questions, the people who need “just one more thing.” You call it stress, but it’s been months.

Flat affect. You smile on cue, but it doesn’t reach you. Good news lands with a shrug. You’re present, but you can’t feel much of anything.

Shame. You tell yourself you have no right to be struggling. Your grandmother survived worse. You have a good job and people who love you. So you keep it to yourself.

Hyper-independence. “I got it” has become a reflex. Asking for help feels risky, so you carry everything alone, even when it’s crushing you.

Being strong was never supposed to mean suffering in silence. You deserve support that doesn’t require you to fall apart first.

Save this post as a reminder

If you’re in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 any time.

#HighFunctioningDepression #BlackTherapist #OntarioTherapist by @ancestralmemorytherapy

People-pleasers, this one’s for you: it’s okay to ask questions on your consult call. In fact, you should.

If you’re used to keeping everyone comfortable, a consult call can feel like a test you need to pass. It’s not. You’re choosing someone to trust with your story, so you get to ask.

Their bio tells you their training. These questions tell you what it’s actually like to work with them:

1️⃣ What would our first few sessions look like?”
You’ll get a sense of their pace and whether you’ll be rushed into hard stuff or given time to feel safe first.

2️⃣ “What happens if I don’t like something you suggest?”
For a people-pleaser, this is the big one. A good therapist will welcome your pushback, not just tolerate it.

3️⃣ “How do you help clients who struggle to put their own needs first?” Shows whether they understand people-pleasing beyond the surface.

Notice how you feel during the call, too. Reassured? Heard? That matters as much as any answer.

Save this post for your next therapy call

No waitlist. In person or virtual across Ontario.
Book your free consult through the link in bio. by @ancestralmemorytherapy

Fun post, it could be a dream or a nightmare to have a therapist like this. Seriously, what’s up Leo moon middle children🤪
Happy Halloween👻 by @ancestralmemorytherapy

And here’s what nobody tells you…

You’d think hearing “I’m sorry” would feel like relief. Like the movie moment where the music swells and everything finally heals.

Instead? For a split second, my body braced.

Wait… what happens next?
What’s the catch?
Is this safe?

That flash of terror isn’t you being ungrateful or “stuck in the past.” It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do. When someone has hurt you for years, your body memorizes the pattern. Kindness from that same person can feel unfamiliar, and unfamiliar can feel dangerous.

Healing doesn’t always arrive the moment the words do. Sometimes it starts with noticing the fear, breathing through it, and letting yourself decide, slowly, what that apology actually means to you.

You’re allowed to feel relieved and scared.
You’re allowed to take your time.
You’re allowed to not know what to do with it yet.

If you’ve ever braced at the very thing you waited years to hear, you’re not alone.

Save this post as a reminder

📍 Trauma therapy in-person and virtually across Ontario, no waitlist. Link in bio.
Ancestral Memory Therapy by @ancestralmemorytherapy

The weirdest part of ADHD? Your brain never stops thinking and starting tasks, yet you call your exhaustion laziness.

Here’s the truth: you’re not lazy. You’re tired from running a brain that rarely gets a break. The constant switching, remembering, restarting, and self-criticizing takes real energy, even when it looks like “nothing got done.”

David da Silva, MSW, RSW, helps clients untangle the shame that so often comes with ADHD, so they can understand how their brain works and build a gentler, more realistic relationship with themselves.

You deserve support, not another to-do list.

Book with David through the link in bio.

#ADHD #AdultADHD #ADHDSupport by @ancestralmemorytherapy

“AI will replace you.” Okay, let’s see AI bring queer culture and laughter to sessions as we dive deep into trauma work.

Meet David da Silva, MSW, RSW🌈

Healing doesn’t have to be heavy all the time. In David’s sessions, there’s room for the hard stuff *and* for humour, culture, and being fully yourself. Because when you feel truly seen, the deeper work becomes possible.

No algorithm can offer lived understanding, a well-timed laugh, or the kind of safety that comes from someone who gets it.

Curious about working with David? Book through the link in bio.

#QueerTherapist by @ancestralmemorytherapy

Not every therapist is the right fit for every person, and that’s a good thing.

Childhood emotional neglect can be hard to name. Often it isn’t about what happened, but what didn’t: the comfort, the attention, the feeling that your needs mattered. Many women grow up learning to be “the easy one,” to need very little, and to take care of everyone else first.

By midlife, that can look like being fine on the outside and exhausted on the inside. Saying yes when you mean no. Feeling disconnected from what you actually want.

Coping tools can be really helpful. Breathing exercises, journaling, and grounding skills all have their place. But when the roots of these patterns go back to childhood, tools alone often aren’t enough. Healing usually means working gently with the nervous system and the experiences that shaped it, at a pace that feels safe.

That’s the work I do with women over 40. We go slowly, there’s no pressure to perform being okay, and your story is taken seriously, even the parts you’ve been told weren’t “that bad.”

If this resonates, we love to connect you with one of our therapists.

This post is for educational purposes only and isn't a substitute for therapy or professional advice. If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 or go to your nearest emergency department. by @ancestralmemorytherapy

She can see everything her mother did wrong. But she can’t see that she passed the same thing down to you.

That’s intergenerational trauma. Unhealed pain doesn’t stay put. It travels from one generation to the next.

At ancestral memory therapy, we trace those patterns back. We’re not doing it to blame anyone. We’re doing it so you can decide what ends with you.

✨ In-person therapy in Hamilton, plus no-waitlist virtual therapy across Ontario. Link in Bio by @ancestralmemorytherapy

It happened 10 years ago… how come you’re not over it?”

God forbid your brain and body are doing exactly what they were designed to do. 🧠

Trauma isn’t stored like a regular memory. When something overwhelming happens, your nervous system files it as “danger,” and it can stay stuck there. So when a sound, smell, tone of voice, or date on the calendar reminds your body of what happened, it reacts as if it’s happening now.

That racing heart? The shutdown? The sudden anger or tears? That’s not weakness. That’s not “being dramatic.” That’s your body trying to protect you.

Time alone doesn’t heal trauma. The right support does.

Therapies like EMDR, DBR, and brainspotting help your brain finally process what happened, so the past can feel like the past.

You don’t have to “just get over it.” You deserve to heal from it.

✨ The Healing Collective offers no-waitlist therapy for children, adults, couples, and families across Ontario. Book a free consultation through the link in bio.

This post is for educational purposes only and isn't a substitute for therapy or professional advice. If you're in crisis, call or text 9-8-8 or go to your nearest emergency department. by @ancestralmemorytherapy