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angella

@anguhhh

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I miss you like I miss the rage. by @anguhhh

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19 hours ago

by @anguhhh

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a month ago

Tomorrow is @lashmac91's birthday which means I get to post from my Layla Gworl album. I told myself to only do ten swipes but I can't eliminate any of these so you get a dozen. Okay okay okay okay so this babe and I have spent just over two years becoming friends. Really friends! Really listening to each other and going on long drives and a lot of Chili's and a lot of sitting next to each other in movie theaters and making way ahead of time plans AND last minute plans and canceling plans and checking on each other and talking about what we believe. I have seen Layla be opinionated, curious, forthright, ferocious, the smartest in the room, the weirdest in the room. I've heard her sing a lot, she's my own Billie Eilish for actually real. I've seen her do probably 100 impersonations and almost every time I'm amazed like, "There are more??????" We've got musicals and childhoods in Wisconsin and youth group stories and the stars and Harry Styles. Plenty to bond us together, but I think what really does it for me when it comes to Layla is that I think she speaks from her head and her heart in a weaved together way that is surprising and often, stops me in my tracks. When she's unsure, she genuinely seeks out perspectives to help her sort out AND THEN maybe more than anybody else I know, when she's thought something over SHE ACTS. Usually boldly! When she offers her insight I am often wowed, often left feeling so lucky to be in her proximity for this part of our life. She anchors me. I think all this would feel less real to me without her Virgo Gen Z old soul Chloe Sullivan haircut stray kitty saving tarot shaman moon hummer atter karaoke champion Hobbit ass grounding me. Layla makes it all more fun. Love her so friggin much so so for real for real. I think her next year is shaping up to be one of her happiest. Looking forward to every dumb minute of it we get to be together. (Also looking forward to being hot uncontrollable old women in New Mexico several decades from now. Please God. Please Universe. Please Path of Whimsy or Path of Joy. Please SpongeBob?) by @anguhhh

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a month ago

A neighbor suddenly asked how old I am this week. I answered bashfully then she said, "You're really wise for your age." We were in agreement that patiently waiting for time to pass often takes care of the problem. Heals all wounds, they say. The kids come to me with injuries and I tell them stuff like, "I know it hurts, but you're gonna be amazed how fast the human body fixes itself." A fever because you're heating up to fight off something worse. A certain headache to remind you to hydrate, yourself a houseplant you forgot to water. A different kind of headache because you drank too much; some part of your physical machine thinks if you feel terrible enough maybe you won't do it again. Natural consequences. I love them, especially in comparison to the unnatural ones. Life moving in a variety of cycles you can anticipate. Moons and seasons. "Nothing new under the sun" becomes less a grievance and more of a reassurance. We change and we stay the same. We grow and we don't. I've been listening to the @yelyahwilliams album from last year over and over for several days now. It's delectable. Listening to it feels nostalgic tbh, like it sounds like how music used to sound to me. Reminds me of Tegan and Sara, sometimes Michelle Branch, sometimes Avril Lavigne. Also her tour wardrobe has been so friggin good, almost knocking me unconscious. I've been coming up with weird questions again and making everybody answer thoughtfully. I'm rereading @donaldmiller's Blue Like Jazz because I want to lend it to a friend. Somehow it's been a decade since I was burning through one of his books every month. I'm soaking in the sun almost every day. I'm not working hard and fortunately nobody cares. Jayden Micheal Lee fell asleep in my bed a couple nights ago during the lullaby from The Prince of Egypt and we woke up with our foreheads pressed together. Tonight I'm taking a candlelit shower, making an easy pasta, drinking white wine, then watching my first Marilyn Monroe movie (my favorite uncle's recommendation). This month has been very hot and has taken its sweet time passing. I do love when summer feels suspicious, like it sneaky found a way to stay forever. Mm. #selfiesunday by @anguhhh

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3 months ago

It's been feeling very June and I mean that in the best way. by @anguhhh

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4 months ago

"i hope
when you come home to yourself
there are flowers lining the front porch
that were left from all the women
you were before"
@maiapoetry by @anguhhh

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4 months ago

Happy birthday Lanny Faith. An Instagram caption won't do her justice but I'll try. This child has always been a smart cookie, always been assessing the world around her and asking questions about what she doesn't understand, and always been making unpredictable bold choices that make us go, "GIRL WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" This was all true when she was four and it's just as true as she turns 13. I think teenage girlhood is one of the best things humanity has to offer and I cry cry cry imagining how really dang good at it I think this little human is going to be. She's declared her tomboy phase over and will be back on the cheerleading squad (her passion) for eighth grade. She got some special designation at her school's awards ceremony, top smartest kid in all of Oklahoma I think. Gamer girl, Sims and Roblox. Her obsession with @jayherrans's #epicthemusical overlapped with mine and I'll be holding onto hearing her playing those songs in another room. When I take her to school we don't talk much, just drive with the music up singing along. Her style is turning into her mom's honestly. She borrows from her closet a lot. Did just ask for my Levi's jacket for her first country concert, promised to take good care of it. She's got ferocity, has never not had that. She's demanding and straightforward. She continues to get more serious and serene these last few years, so when she's bubbling excitement it's irresistible. She would wrestle her little brother a lot more if we didn't yell at her for it. She gets scolded for living in her own little world. It's a relief whenever we crawl under a blanket together on the couch. Thinking about it, it makes me emotional that Alayna and I have a lot of unspoken connection. I guess what's true is I feel like Alayna understands more deeply than other kids that like, her and I are friends forever. We're in it for the long haul. Devotion is a good word for it. Strong bond. I love her a ton. Months ago, What Was I Made For? came on while I was driving home and I started weeping thinking about how Lanny's emotions and thoughts will just keep getting more and more complex. I want so much happiness for her, want that so much. by @anguhhh

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5 months ago

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5 months ago

I'm in a sweet spot. If you take anything away from what I post, let it be this: when life is sweet, write it down. Please! Even if it's just a short paragraph of details. For your own sake. To read later. It is SO PLEASANT when you've forgotten a wonderful part of your own living and then come across proof of unremembered particulars. A playlist can have a similar effect. Maybe call up a close friend from years ago and ask what they remember. Mark when the good happens so it doesn't become a blur. "Joy is not made to be a crumb." You can trust me on this. I am religiously nostalgic. I think social media has probably caused irreparable damage and bash it all the live long day, but as a millennial, a lot of it has become a cute scrapbook of the 2000s for us. So, to add to the historical record, here are some details of these days. Adelyn relaying what I need to know about Artemis II. Attempting 100 days sober. Being tightly squeezed. Both nieces requesting a Nest Night. Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle aura. Crying at the end of A Big Bold Beautiful Journey then immediately reading many bad reviews that basically said it's a movie for losers. Early mornings. Easy to fix mistakes. Extremely romantic dreams, like it's a little much, like whoever is in charge of dreams could take it down a notch. Fat cat cup doodles. Feeling naked without glasses. Forgetting how stinking beautiful she is then seeing her photo. Finding lost things quickly. Gentle bullying. Hearing my nephew blasting Drake on the front porch. Hot days are back. Improving. I really performed a magic trick last night. It turns out a part time job is the perfect amount of job for me. Knuckle burns. Making sure the people I like feel like I like them. Mario Party giggling, even though Jordan wins every goddamn time. "Okay cute." Opening the windows to let fresh air in while cleaning the house. Regulars! Sleeping with the fan on me. Stars. Super shrunk my closet. Talking about how Euphoria is for perverts. Telling myself and others that excited and nervous are the same physically. The color green. Todd's affection. Weeping big fat tears during Dr. Hiriluk's final speech. "You fill me with light." by @anguhhh

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6 months ago

Tomorrow this kid (one of the best friends I'll ever have) wakes up seven years old. This was an era of practicing spelling words and making stuff up and learning to ride his bike and so much Roblox and wanting the same haircut as his best friend and bossing Alexa around and losing baby teeth and knowing Drake lyrics. He informed me a couple months ago that he doesn't like Isle of Dogs anymore, but thankfully he instantly loved Moonrise Kingdom. Oh and we finally watched Jurassic World, which he's begged for since he was two. Parts of his year sucked really bad honestly, but great news: humans are capable of getting better. Kids especially. He likes to freak me out and makes me laugh hard. I like to freak him out and make him laugh hard. I'll never stop whisper/yell chanting Jayden Micheal Lee to the pace of I Love Rock n Roll. When me and Ally were kids, I really really really longed for a baby brother. Jayden in a way is that wish come true two decades later. 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 by @anguhhh

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8 months ago

A wonky little fever dream in OKC yesterday. We agreed to sleep in extra, Whopper Jrs and Diet Cokes for the drive up, stopped so Layla could look for a @malcolmtodd record, gentle touches our way through @factoryobscura, popped in an exquisitely curated pink semi trailer thrift store, split an order of jalapeño poppers and fresh drinks at gorgeous tiny @iguanaokc, hit up a Plato's Closet on the way home, yapped our full hearts out into the sunset, then txted little I love you speeches after we got home. Thankful for cute Layla, over and over proving herself to be a good times girl. ☀️🟨🧿🐦‍⬛👄🕯️🖤😮💍🪸🌹🤠 by @anguhhh

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8 months ago

Mm, I got to be Layla's plus one to a long standing annual Galentine's celebration. We yapped hard in the car, strolled giggly through Paseo Arts District with the girls, and lost our ever loving minds enjoying the heck out of Emerald Fennell's new one. Pretty ladies wearing pretty shoes, pretty drinks, pretty goodies, pretty conversations, pretty sights. I do not think men are worse than women, but I do feel bad that they really don't get this. ✌🏻🎀☕👠😹👼🏼🐍🧑‍🎤🦩💘😏🧡 by @anguhhh

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8 months ago