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April Walterscheid

@apriloneil

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followers

156

following

🩵 Hi I’m April named after March 🩵
👇 Get Show Alerts 👇

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This is why my fans are 1000% women who buy tickets and sell out my comedy club shows. #vroomvroom

Comment SHOW for my next comedy shows.

@angiestro once gave me the great advice of posting one joke at a time… thank you Angie. 💕

🎥 by @nicodinisi

#standupcomedy #comedian #men #car #bed #funny #jokes #highvalue #wga #sag

@fallontonight @jimmykimmellive @colbertlateshow @sethmeyers taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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3 years ago

WATCH TIL THE END. 💩

Thank you at @bublywater. I had a lot of fun with peanut butter on my face and Nutella on my shoulder. I had fun in an empty bathtub full of machine generated bubbles. The kitchen converted into a bathroom by set design was so beautiful with light pink sheer window curtains and how the lighting team’s light shone through like the sun during golden hour. And I loved how the cucumbers and tomatoes fell off my face so many times that there was a salad in the tub. This was the perfect video to send to my mom for Mother’s Day.

#comedian #standupcomedy #happymothersday #actor #commercial #whitelotus #fyp #viral taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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9

a year ago

Today is my actual birthday. Thank you all for the birthday wishes. I wish for 39 to be one of my best years because so far it is only April and it has exceeded my expectations. It’ll only exceed it even more from here I make sure to tell myself. ❤️

Photos by @zandicam and @devlinwilder at the merry ol’ land of @hollywoodimprov (I love Wizard of Oz so had to do it).

I’ll always remember stubbing my toe on my luggage wheel a couple night before this comedy show from stress, on an already sprained ankle, and how it sent me in a brief spiral of “Uhh— So do I wear Converse or snow boats with this Versace x Dua Lipa dress I was gifted and disrespect this dress? Do I go barefoot? What do I do?!” Then hobbling around at the comedy show in Mary Jane shoes from Amazon hiding a nasty looking purple, black, and blue toe. Ah, the price of getting older. Thank you @realrealjulie for knowing fashion and saving my life. 💙 xo

I used to listen to "In Da Club" my last year of high school (2002-2003) and actually, the whole 50 Cent album quite frankly. (I'm listening to it today and wanting to cry.) I used to bench almost 90 pounds and listen to this song on my parent's Panasonic CD Player while working out at home. I was scrawny and doing shot put in track and I very much sucked at it. But they also blasted this song at Mountain View High School's gym by the track in Mesa, Arizona. I sometimes wish I could go back in time and stay 18 forever. Or at least never go over 32 years old.

Another weird fact: I'm currently 1 year older than my mom's age when I graduated high school. I don't know how to feel.

#april9 #standupcomedy #happybirthday #39yearsold #marilynmonroe #msfrizzle #pinkladies taken in Hollywood Improv by @apriloneil

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3 years ago

Ticket sales end soon, but you can buy some at the door.

#comedy #standupcomedy #losangeles #thingstodo taken in Hollywood, California by @apriloneil

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3 days ago

Spooky. 👻 Come out to my next comedy show.

#standupcomedy #disney #hoarders #halloween #joke taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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3 days ago

End of summer recipe you’ll make again and again. 🩵🌿🥛 @wholefoods tried to hide this secret recipe from us. 🤫🫗 Save this recipe for your next dinner party! Everyone will ask about it.

Would you try this, or are you normal? 👇 Comment below. Tag a friend who needs to upgrade their hydration routine. 💦

#vegan #recipe #hydrate #comedian #dupe taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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4 days ago

Remember cheap rent? Tour my creepy home I miss so much. And grab tickets to my comedy show. Ticket link in bio. 🎟️

I wrote a ton of jokes at this old duplex but 4 of those jokes I still use today!

Follow some of these folks on the show: @the_gingerdaddy @opeyjokey @felix.kiner @daynakathan

#comedian #standupcomedy #vogue #rent #coraline taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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7 days ago

We all have a stolen vibrator story. And this is just a preview? Comedy show announcement tomorrow!

#comedian #vogue #comedyshow #dakotajohnson #passiveaggressive taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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8 days ago

A cute joke. It makes me feel happy like I just shit. 🌈

#poop #material #joke #comedian by @apriloneil

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10 days ago

Take it by midnight tonight. Link in bio. ⤴️

Only 3.5 out of 33 have answered relatively healthy/normal so far. I send customized results based on your answers.

Knowing me though, the most likely result is this pretty song. It was either this one, Half Moon River, Anchors Aweigh or… literally a song about throwing an anchor into the middle of the ocean.

#single #cloister #redflag #date #comedian taken in Los Angeles, California by @apriloneil

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11 days ago

Confirmation: hemorrhoids!

Confirmed in 2010 as anal fissure. These must be like Pokémon, they just morph into their next form.

#standup #comedian #hemorrhoids by @apriloneil

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18 days ago

Turns out this joke was only for one person on the backend.

I like this joke because it’s about health and I’m educating people on what dat booty can do… or can’t do.

#standupcomedy #unhinged #relatable #oversharing #haha by @apriloneil

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19 days ago