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Sam

@archivingarchivingarchiving

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➡️ Old account, follow me at @notesfromsam
✨ Performance | Wellbeing | Relationships
⛓️‍💥 I help people break out of old patterns

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What would this do for you?

If you had FU self esteem.

What would you have said no to?

Or what opportunities would you have gone for?

This doesn’t mean you should actually say FU to people!

But it does mean you can spot when things aren’t right for you.

And actually do something about it.

Knowing that you’ll be fine without them.

The worst part of low self esteem is the disempowerment.

The inability to speak up and choose what’s best for you.

Build up your confidence.

So you have FU in the bank.

#selfawarenessjourney #datinglife #datingapps #personaldevelopmentjourney #datingapp #datingtips #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #womenshealth #selfesteem #selfesteemboost #selfesteemcoach #emotionalgrowth #emotionalwellbeing #datingapp #mensmentalhealthawareness #singlesevent #datingtipsformen #datingtipsforwomen by @archivingarchivingarchiving

Save this and practice it!

Ever catch yourself in angry or negative thoughts?

How long does it last?

Does it ever solve anything?

Probably not.

Does it stress you out?

Probably.

Ruminating in your head causes genuine mental and physical stress.

It’s not healthy and is causing you real harm.

You can free yourself from this stress by challenging yourself to just notice when you start to go down these negative threads.

Notice and take a breath.

Ask yourself if you need to be thinking this thought again.

If it will help in any way.

And if not, choose something else to think about.

Even if your mind eventually goes back to the negative, keep noticing it.

Keep choosing other thoughts.

You’re rewiring your neural pathways which takes time.

Keep doing it and it will slowly fade.

What you feed, grows.

Feed the practice, don’t feed the negative thoughts.

#selfawarenessjourney #emotionalawareness #personaldevelopment #datinglife #datingapps #personaldevelopmentjourney #datingapp #datingtips #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #datingtipsformen #datingtipsforwomen #womenshealthmatters #womensmentalhealth #mensmentalhealthawareness #singlesevent #mindfulnesspractice #mindfulnessmatters by @archivingarchivingarchiving

Has this happened to you?

First of all, I used to be one.

I struggled to say no to people.

I couldn’t set boundaries.

I didn’t feel like I deserved to have my feelings taken into account.

So I always prioritised other people’s needs.

It never occurred to me that I even had my own.

And that I needed to advocate for them, to protect my peace.

I always felt obligated to do things for others.

So I’d end up stressed and feeling resentful.

Even though I never said it.

This was harmful to both my health and my relationships.

It fueled low self worth and denied me the deep connections I craved.

If you’re looking for a healthy long term relationship that carries mutual respect and the deepening connection of conflict repair, then be wary of dating a pleaser (unless they’re ACTIVELY working on it!)

Have you been through something similar?

#selfawarenessjourney #datinglife #datingapps #datingapp #personaldevelopmentjourney #datingtips #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #womensmentalhealth #mensmentalhealthawareness #singlesevent #emotionaldevelopment #mentalfitness #datingadviceformen #datingadviceforwomen by @archivingarchivingarchiving

42 people joined my latest “virtual coffee session.”

There’s usually 15-25 so this was a jump!

People talked about:

- Ignoring red flags (ignoring their intuition)

- IRL dating Vs Apps

- Working on yourself before jumping into the next relationship

- Conflict avoidance

- Communication styles

And a bunch of other interesting stuff.

The common thread in all of these sessions is that underneath it all, we all want connection and intimacy.

And knowing you’re not alone lightens the load.

Thank you to everyone who joined and shared or listened.

You’re all helping improve the dating pool!

#selfawarenessjourney #datinglife #datingapps #datingapp #personaldevelopmentjourney #datingtips #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #datingadvice #mensmentalhealthawareness #singlesevent #emotionaldevelopment #emotionalintelligence #womensmentalhealth #selfworth #selfesteem by @archivingarchivingarchiving

What else do you want in a partner?

Really question whether some of the things that come to mind are important or not.

The industry they work in.

The type of role they do.

The hobbies or interests they have.

Do these really matter?

Or is it more about how they show up in these areas?

Are they curious, adventurous, mindful, sensitive, confident, alive.

And more importantly - do you feel emotionally safe and respected around them?

#datingtips #datingapps #datingadvice #datingapp #datinglife #singles #relationshipskills #relationshipcoaching #relationshiphelp #datingcoach #datingcoachforwomen #datingcoachformen #selfawareness #selfawarenessjourney #emotionalgrowth #emotionalawareness #personaldevelopmentcoach #personaldevelopment by @archivingarchivingarchiving

A lot of people don’t realise they have low self esteem.

But if you’re a people pleaser…

Or you struggle to set boundaries

Or default to protecting other people’s feelings no matter how stressed or overwhelmed it makes you

Or you lose your sense of self in relationships because you’re so focused on their needs

Then this would indicate an underlying self esteem issue.

This is important to know because if you don’t work on the underlying issue then you’re likely to get into the same unhealthy dynamics again and again.

Which will cause you more stress and suffering.

And you know you don’t want that.

You deserve happy healthy relationships.

And that starts with you.

#selfesteem #selfesteembuilding #datingtips #datingadvice #datingapps #datingapp #mentalhealthhelp #mentalhealthawarness #relationshipissues #relationshiphelp #relationshipcoaching #selfawarenessjourney #selfawarenessiskey #intuitiondevelopment #emotionalgrowth #emotionaldevelopment by @archivingarchivingarchiving

🏔️ Aches for days.

But totally worth it.

Pals, games, a country cottage and a bloody mountain.

You don’t need much more than that.

✌️

#snowdon #snowdonsummit #snowdonia #mountaintrip #outdoorslife #mentalhealthhelp by @archivingarchivingarchiving

A lot of men still keep their challenges inside their heads.

Thinking they need to look strong.

Or work every problem out themself.

But they don’t.

They can find spaces to share whatever is going on for them.

Away from the perceived judgement of friends or family.

With other men looking to do the same.

It doesn’t matter if it’s about health, relationships or work - a problem shared is a problem halved.

Getting it out of your head releases some of the tension.

Hearing that other people have been through something similar is incredibly reassuring.

Uncertainty is part of the journey.

You’re not supposed to have all the answers yourself.

And acknowledging that sometimes you go through hard times and need help is actually a sign of emotional growth, rather than pretending you’ve got it all under control.

Come join a Men’s Circle.

We’re only strangers at the beginning.

DM for info :)

#personaldevelopmentjourney #selfawarenessjourney #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #mentalhealthhelp #mensmentalhealthawareness #sharingiscaring #sharingcircle #emotionalgrowth #emotionaldevelopment #connectionmatters #connectioniskey #openup #mensmentalhealthmatters #mentalfitness #brothers by @archivingarchivingarchiving

Are you intentional with your dating app use?

Have you ever downloaded or gone for a swipe when you just felt bored?

Or upset?

Looking for validation

Or a dopamine kick

No shade if so, we’re all human

But if it’s a recurring pattern…

Then perhaps you’d gain a healthier sense of control by actively pausing and letting the emotion pass.

Find something that brings you joy to pass the time

Process your feelings instead of seeking external validation to distract you.

How many dissatisfying situations have you ended up in as a result of mindless swiping?

Pause

Recognise why you’re doing it (and what the underlying emotion is) and date more intentionally

You’re future self will thank you

#personaldevelopmentjourney #selfawarenessjourney #datinglife #datingapps #singlesevent #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #mensmentalhealthawareness #datingapp #singlesday #datingcoachformen #datingcoachforwomen #datingtips #datingcoach #datingonline #emotionalawareness #selfdevelopment #selfdevelopmenttools by @archivingarchivingarchiving

Emotional safety means creating an environment where your partner can feel comfortable expressing their feelings to you.

Without fear of judgement.

Without fear of being attacked.

Without fear of being walked out on.

If you have a habit of getting defensive…

Or shutting down and avoiding conversations…

Then this is a key area to work on if you want a long term relationship.

Deep connection comes from vulnerability and sitting through those challenging conversations.

#personaldevelopmentjourney #selfawarenessjourney #datinglife #datingapps #singlesevent #mentalhealthhelp #menshealth #emotionalsafety #emotionalsupport #mensmentalhealthawareness #datingapp #singlesday #datingcoachformen #datingcoachforwomen #datingtipsformen #datingtipsforwomen #datingtips #relationshipcoaching #relationshipcoach #relationshiptips by @archivingarchivingarchiving

An easy way to understand if you’re being authentic or not.

If your reality is that you’re suppressing your true wishes.

Your true opinion.

Your true voice.

Then you’re not living authentically.

There may be times when that’s necessary.

Maybe you can’t tell your boss exactly what you think of them.

Maybe it’s best to pick your battles.

But if you chronically suppress your true self by default…

To please other people…

Or out of fear of rejection.

Then this will cause you more harm than good.

Reflecting on who you really are and working to let them out as much as possible will do wonders for your health.

#datinglife #datingapps #personaldevelopmentjourney #selfawarenessjourney #singlesevent #mentalhealthhelp #datingapp #menshealth #mensmentalhealthawareness #singlesday #authenticitymatters #authenticity #authenticityiskey #mensmentalhealth #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionaljourney #datingtips #datingapp #datingcoach #datinggoals #purposefullife by @archivingarchivingarchiving

Nine months ago I created the Dating With Intention community.

It’s for people who want to date in a healthier way.

It’s grown to around 2,000 members in that time.

Each week I host group calls with 15-50 members.

And each week people have revelations about where they’ve been going wrong.

Chasing non-committal partners.

Allowing their boundaries to be ignored.

Abandoning their own needs.

And now they can get back out there with more clarity and confidence in what they’ll accept.

Now I’m launching the 28 Day Challenge on @locals_org which will help you in the same way.

5 group video calls, real work, real transformation.

It focuses on building self worth, clarifying boundaries & values and strengthening your connection to your intuition, so you can comfortably go after what you want.

We start on May 8th.

Click the link in my bio to join us.

#datinglife #datingtip #datingtipsformen #datingtipsforwomen #datingapps #datingapp #datingcoachforwomen #datingcoach #datingcoachformen #datingcoaching #singlesday #singlesclub #singlesevent #singlesevents #singleslife #personaldevelopmentjourney #selfawarenessjourney #mentalhealthhelp #emotionaldevelopment #emotionalsupport #confidencecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #groupcoaching #accountabilitygroup by @archivingarchivingarchiving