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Sam Sylvester | Coach

@notesfromsam

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You know your patterns. Now break them.
10 yrs in Tech, 2 yrs in Wellness.
Facilitator @menscircle.club

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Get better over time

That’s it taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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5 days ago

Surround yourself with people who encourage your growth

That might look like holding you accountable

It might look like supporting your goals

It might be that they’re a few steps ahead of you

However it looks, they know you’re capable of more

And they’ll help you get there

Don’t let the others pull you down taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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6 days ago

People pleasers and conflict avoidants, can you relate? taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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7 days ago

One year, tons of insights

I’ll share what I learn

Follow along if you’re interested in:

- Silencing your inner critic

- Overcoming people pleasing

- Stopping negative rumination

- Building momentum for your goals

- Reconnecting with unexpressed parts of yourself

- Expanding into the happier* version of yourself

*happier because you realised what behaviours were restricting you and you finally allowed yourself to follow your intuition towards what you actually want out of life, telling your fears to f**king do one because you don’t want their “protection” anymore, you’ve got cool shit to do. taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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11 days ago

My patterns served a purpose

To give me a sense of safety

But as I grew up they became prisons

Restricting me to “play it safe”

Disconnecting me from who I really was

Making me feel numb

The worst part is my ego at the time blamed everyone else

“It must be their fault I feel dissatisfied”

It wasn’t until I realised I had been on autopilot that I could take accountability and gain control of it

Self sabotage can be as simple as saying yes when you want to say no

Or saying I’m fine when you’re not

Nobody’s personality is fixed in place though

You can step out of lifelong habits if you want to

It just might take a little help

Follow along if you’re interested in recoding your patterns

I’m excited to see where this takes us taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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11 days ago

Karaoke - I used to be too shy. This was a real push yourself out of your comfort zone activity. Now I love it. Next step is doing it with strangers.

Therapy - This kickstarted my interest in wellness, my understanding of myself & others, my growth. I feel bad that some people don’t get the same benefits that I did.

Cycling - A former boss suggested we hop on a city bike instead of the tube back from a meeting 4 years ago. I’ve cycled pretty much every day since then. It’s so much more fun than tubes/busses/taxis.

Men’s groups - Hearing men open up about their challenges helps normalise talking about things too. I now run a group to help others and push myself more.

Partying sober - One of the best decisions of my life was to cut out 95% of the alcohol I was drinking. A lot of negatives were downstream from drinking. I was less likely to eat healthily, go to the gym or keep to next-day plans and more likely to be snappy, groggy and unmotivated. I’m envious of those who could drink and still be on top of the rest of their life, but I couldn’t - so I cut it out and things have been getting better ever since. 95% means I tend not to drink, but on occasion I may have 1 or 2, but it’s rare.

Saying NO - Absolute gamechanger for self confidence. It seems so simple but people-pleasers everywhere will know the agonising difficulty of saying no to someone. For most of my life it was impossible and led to so much inner stress, resentment and anxiety. Saying no started to teach me that I can trust myself to do what’s right for me. It reconnected my inner compass so I could tell what direction to move in, instead of second guessing myself. NO leads to huge transformation.

Confidence - This came as a result of everything on this list plus so many small moments of choosing myself, having fun, not staying in toxic dynamics, growing self trust. It all amplified my confidence. Staying small, doing what others expected of me, saying yes out of obligation and other self-abandoning behaviours kept confidence out of arms reach for years before this.

Number 8 - Feeling pure joy bursting out of me for simply existing in the world. Continued in comment: taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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24 days ago

They’ve never been where you’re heading taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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24 days ago

Love your past self for the lessons

Love your future self for the directions

Trust that the answers are inside you already

You might just need help accessing them

I’m here if you need me taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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24 days ago

Oh go on then.

Somebody’s gotta do it.

Stop that sh*t from rolling downhill.

You’ve seen the damage of other people’s patterns.

And you’ve realised you have your own.

Now’s the time to break them.

Before another 5 years roll by feeling restricted.

Feel f*cking untethered.

I can’t wait to see what you do with it. taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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24 days ago

Their pain is real

But they have a choice about how they behave

If they choose to be a dick, let them know

You can be sensitive about one thing

And assertive about the other

Treat them as separate conversations taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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a month ago

Why are people always asking the wrong questions?

When someone is trying to pull you into a conflict

Try asking what their fear is

Go a layer deeper than whatever they claim the topic is about

It’s never about the surface

It’s the feeling underneath

Disrespected

Unappreciated

Forgotten

Abandoned

*Unsafe* in some form or another

Once you see what happened to make them behave like that

And the fears underneath

You can start to reassure them on the topic that actually matters taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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a month ago

A love letter to legs

Gratitude doesn’t have to be for big things

Being grateful for the small everyday things that make your life better than it would be if you had to live without them is a fast way to happiness

Most people don’t practice gratitude as it feels silly

But being unhappy and not realising how lucky you are sounds silly to me

What can you be grateful for this week? taken in London, United Kingdom by @notesfromsam

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a month ago