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Abigail (Abba)

@arcrea

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Today is the 6 month anniversary of Stuart’s passing and there are many emotions that come with that. So many milestones I wish he could’ve been here for and help me navigate.
This kind of grief is something I’ve never experienced and wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. Someone I thought I couldn’t get rid of, I’m forever missing and searching for. The crow in the first pic flew up to my balcony with a chicken wing and there is no doubt in my mind that it was him. And ik that sounds insane.
I’ve spent the last 6 months trying to figure out a new identity. Not just my personal identity, but my family’s. I’m in a battle of living for two and not knowing I’m doing(a classic early 20s dilemma). The vision of me at his wedding, his kids corrupting mine, and one day taking care of our parents is gone. I hate that everyday is another day without a call and that it becomes more normal. My priorities have shifted but I couldn’t tell you exactly how… except for spending my paychecks on new tattoos. Someone has to carry on the family swag. My parents are no longer who they used to be. Destiny, Serenity, and Autumn are more my sisters than ever, a blessing, but not intended to happen under these circumstances.

I miss that 1/3 (1/8)of me more than words can describe.
I miss and love Stuart forever. by @arcrea

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19 days ago

by @arcrea

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a month ago

Stop w the summer dumps. Summer isn’t over until I say it’s over!🫵 by @arcrea

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a month ago

We Nash. We Sav. Caleb brushes my hair while I play Lorde discography on repeat. by @arcrea

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a month ago

Cool girls with hobbies and friends by @arcrea

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2 months ago

I think I know more about beach trips than you by @arcrea

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3 months ago

Macro joys by @arcrea

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4 months ago

All that for a good tan by @arcrea

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5 months ago

Can’t wait to build cool shit 📐🏛️ by @arcrea

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6 months ago

This is a goodbye I never imagined or got to say. To my big brother, thank you for always being my biggest protector, and shielding me from the pains of growing up. Thank you for filling the house with your LOUD laugh and for giving me my first tattoo, vape, and 4loko. I’m gonna miss all of the memories we never got to make. Thank you for bringing us an older sister in Destiny and for showing me the loyalty, sacrifice, and loud love that I strive to find. I promise to protect the legacy you left and the one I know you would’ve made. Ik I’m your baby sister, but I’m so incredibly proud of you. I promise to buy a family mountain house like we always planned and to make you proud. I hope Sammie was up there waiting for you with a fat blunt and Nana gave you the biggest bear hug, you were always her favorite. I love and miss you forever Stuart ❤️🕊️ by @arcrea

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7 months ago

by @arcrea

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7 months ago

Just hanging w my pool instructor🎱🧙‍♀️ by @arcrea

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7 months ago