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Asha Tarry, CLC

@ashatarrymental

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PSYCHOANALYST + LIFE COACH
Supporting couples in coupling well.
#NewlyEngaged + #NewlyMarried
Gal. 5:22
@caregivercoaching
@therestdoctor

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Coupling is about doing things & going places even when you don't feel like it.

It's not even that you don't feel like being where your partner is, doing what your partner does, but it's about quality time, compromise, & investment into the relationship that counts.

For every investment you make, you get a return, sometimes more than one.

However, that's not a reason to do it.

But, the investment is important.

It's like I teach my clients: Sometimes, the feeling you're seeking will come AFTER you do the thing.

*At the end of the night, it was worth it; being outside. ♥️

On another note: Don't you just love a good red shoe, heel preferably, and a dope fit?
I've had these red stacks for over 20 years & they're still tracking. They just don't make good shoes like they used to.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#ashatarry by @ashatarrymental

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a day ago

Your partner's feelings MUST matter to you.

It's not an option.

Also, your response to them matters.

Your response matters.

In this scenarios, I share some of the skills you learn from being coached in coupling well.

These skills don't happen spontaneously or quickly. However, they do happen when partner's are committed to caring about each, willing to learn about each other & their impact on one another, and how to influence each other well.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#thelovefacilitator
#healer
#ashatarry by @ashatarrymental

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3

2 days ago

I WILL NEVER CONDONE VIOLENCE.

No amount of love, affection, sex, or family relations will cure intimate partner violence.

This is why I continue to empathize the importance of couples and single women to have safe people they talk to.

Sometimes, you may not know what seems like protection is actual control.

Sometimes, what an adult tells you they're doing out of love is not love, it's fear, or domination.

Sometimes, what you witnessed your parents doing to each other growing up seemed normal bc it was normal for your family to behave in detrimentally harmful ways.

But, this is why our communities of care have to teach what is love. We have to teach what is dominance. We have to keep checking in on our young women & young men.

We must continue getting our young adults & adults interventions early enough to interrupt dangerous patterns

I'm heartbroken about stories about intimate partner violence & death.

I'm watching even when I don't respond to every story or immediately.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#LoveUs
#RespectUs
#TakeCareOfUs by @ashatarrymental

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2 days ago

Have you ever of #spiritualdistress?

Do you believe it has an impact on your health?

Your daily activities?

Your relationships?

Let's talk about it.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#thelovefacilitator
#ashatarry
#learnmore by @ashatarrymental

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3 days ago

Bad sex, less sex, and painful sex doesn't start in the bedroom.

Here's some reflections about women, men, and couples regarding their unsatisfying sex lives.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#LOVEFACILITATOR
#ashatarry
#healer by @ashatarrymental

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3 days ago

As my colleagues in #mentalhealth say, "there's lots of relationship advice on the internet."

Who do you believe is living a life that's actually worth emulating?

As I see more couples getting engaged 🎉🙌🏽🎉, I have so many questions about who's shepherding those couples through their couplehood.

In this modern era, who does a #millennial bride or groom actually need support from in order to witness and practice loving their partners well?

Who should newly engaged women & men need to walk with as they navigate coupling?

Truthfully, no one should have to do this alone.

Coupling is fun in the beginning. But, it gets more challenging as tough stuff comes up; and it will come up; over & over & over.

Who do you go to, to unpack that stuff?

Where do you begin to confide in someone when you're scared?

Let's talk.

#THELOVECONTAINER
#ashatarry
#thelovefacilitator by @ashatarrymental

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4 days ago

A woman can go on dozens of dates in her lifetime.

She can sit across from a guy on a date and dream up an entire wedding.

But, how she decides after the 1st date what will actually be her life with him starts sooner than the engagement.

What will the culture of the relationship be longterm?

What does getting to know each other for a lifetime mean IRL?

How amazing would it be for women to actually have a soft landing place & men to feel confident in their skin with us, even when they're often perplexed by us if couples were coached on how to do this well?

This is my greatest desire for couples:
To know each other deeply & to love each other well.
To rebuild the family legacy we once had &
To have an ultimate love life.♥️

#THELOVECONTAINER

Learn more at www.LifeCoachAsha.com.
#ashatarry
#healer
#lovefacilitator by @ashatarrymental

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4 days ago

Sex is a love language.
For men.
For women.

As your communication wanes outside the bedroom, it also changes what happens inside the bedroom.

Let's get into it. In the #LOVECONTAINER

#ashatarry
#coach
#healer by @ashatarrymental

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5 days ago

Most men think good sex comes from things they've watched in porn.

A woman knows that goid sex starts before any clothed come off.

Imagine how much couples are actually not enjoying the physical intimacy they want because they have different vantage points & not enough communication, loving instruction, and honest connection with their own bodies?

This is fixable!

Let's go on a journey...

#THELOVECONTAINER by @ashatarrymental

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6 days ago

Movies & music have taught us that we should be less intimate, and more transactional.

Only date a man who will spend money on you.

Only invest in a woman if she's going to give you some goods. Don't wife her!

The problem with that advice is it reinforces mistrust.

There are things in coupling that you want to go slow in, but teaching adults to be unnecessarily skeptical & fearful of one another is not a great strategy.

What's the worst dating advice you've ever received?

#THELOVECONTAINER
#ashatarry
#healer
#facilitator
#coach by @ashatarrymental

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7 days ago

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8 days ago

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9 days ago