Instagram story viewer> @ashleysbuckner> Posts

Ashley Buckner

@ashleysbuckner

50.7K

followers

769

following

Utah📍
Raising kids outside religion✨
Trauma therapist 👁️ + movement girly
I say the quiet parts out loud.
💌 collabs: [email protected]

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

I’m pretty hard to hate up close. ✨

If you’re new here, welcome! If you’ve been here for a while, thanks for staying. I’m just so grateful you’re here.

Now tell me something about YOU 👇 by @ashleysbuckner

861

59

5 days ago

Owning my story and showing up authentically has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.

I never could have imagined that the parts of my story I once wished I could change would eventually lead me to a community like this.

I’m grateful for where I’ve been, proud of where I am, and so excited for what’s ahead.

Thank you for being part of this with me. I hope you know how much it means. ❤️ by @ashleysbuckner

127

15

15 hours ago

I’ve received more messages than I can count from people telling me that my children and I are going to burn in hell because we’re raising them outside religion.

And I don’t think enough people talk about this.

The questions about Jesus. The assumptions about what your family believes. The worry that your kids might feel excluded or misunderstood simply because you’re raising them differently.

And the delicate balance of teaching your children to respect other people’s beliefs while making sure they know their own are equally deserving of respect.

I know so many parents navigating this quietly, and I just want you to know you’re not alone.

Our kids deserve to feel like they belong, too. ✨ by @ashleysbuckner

2k

115

3 days ago

I grew up in a nontraditional Mormon family.

Because my dad wasn’t a member, Sundays often meant the mountains instead of church, the freedom to wear what I wanted, and the opportunity to know and love family outside my religion.

Looking back, I see that diversity as one of the greatest gifts of my childhood. But as a little girl, I desperately wanted to belong to the very community I often felt like an outsider in.

I wanted so badly to be a good Mormon. And I really tried. But there was also so much about life outside of Mormonism that I loved, and I could never quite make myself fit the mold.

I blamed myself. I blamed God. I felt confused, angry, and ashamed.

What I couldn’t see at the time was how the worthiness standards I was trying so hard to live up to were contributing to a cycle of shame, fear, anxiety, and self-hatred.

One of the most distressing parts of this culture for me was the emphasis on sexual purity.

I experienced sexual abuse as a child, and growing up in a culture that placed so much value on sexual purity left me feeling like something had been taken from me. Navigating that shame alongside normal adolescent sexual curiosity and strict religious expectations took a significant toll on my mental health.

The shame didn’t help me make healthier decisions. It only made me feel worse about myself and made it harder to develop a healthy relationship with my body.

It took me years to understand that I wasn’t the problem.

I was just a girl who wanted to belong. And I spent so much of my youth trying to earn a seat at a table that was never going to give me what I actually needed.

Walking away from Mormonism at 20 didn’t just change my life. In so many ways, I believe it saved it. Turns out, breaking all the rules opened doors to a life I’d always dreamed of.

And today, I get to raise my own children knowing they will never have to prove their worthiness to a religious institution.

And that means more to me than I can put into words. ❤️ by @ashleysbuckner

2k

109

4 days ago

Daddy took me shopping today just because. 💃 by @ashleysbuckner

281

36

6 days ago

One of my favorite parts about raising kids outside of religion is knowing they won’t grow up being taught they’re sinners simply for being human.

They get to learn that making mistakes is part of being human. That their worth isn’t something they have to earn. And that they can be kind, compassionate, and accountable without believing there’s something fundamentally wrong with them.

We can teach children to be good humans without first teaching them they’re bad ones.

What do you think healthy theology should teach children about themselves? by @ashleysbuckner

2k

98

6 days ago

OOTN ✨ by @ashleysbuckner

505

44

7 days ago

Here’s to being scared and doing it anyway. I think that’s the real definition of courage.

It has been so freeing to let go of the opinions of people who have never even met me and give myself permission to be unapologetically me. To use my voice. To say the quiet parts out loud. Even when it feels terrifying.

Not everyone is going to understand you. Not everyone is going to like you. And sometimes people will have an entire version of you in their head that you couldn’t change even if you tried.

You don’t have to spend your life managing that.

Turns out, you don’t have to be for everyone. You just have to be yourself, and let your people find you. ✨

What would you do differently if you stopped worrying so much about what other people thought? by @ashleysbuckner

483

37

8 days ago

Developmental trauma asks us to look beyond the intention behind a teaching and consider how it may actually be experienced and internalized by a developing child.

I think we should be able to examine the psychological impact of religious teachings on children, even when those teachings are deeply meaningful to some people.

I’m curious: how did being taught you were a “sinner” impact you as a child? by @ashleysbuckner

13k

729

9 days ago

This sounds simple, but it changed my entire relationship with movement.

I became way more consistent when I stopped treating exercise like something I had to do to make up for what I ate, change my body, or prove I was being “good.”

Some days I lift heavy. Some days I take a Pilates class. Some days I walk. And some days my body needs rest.

It all counts.

Movement doesn’t have to be punishment. Rest doesn’t have to be earned. And doing less doesn’t mean you failed.

Turns out, it’s a lot easier to keep coming back to movement when it feels like a celebration of what your body can do instead of a punishment for how it looks.

What counts as movement for you today? by @ashleysbuckner

162

9

9 days ago

Emotional manipulation in religious families doesn’t always sound cruel. Sometimes it sounds like concern.

“We just want what’s best for you.”
“We’re worried about your choices.”
“Think about your family.”
“I just want us all to be together forever.”

When religion is deeply intertwined with family relationships, love, belonging, and loyalty can become incredibly effective tools for influencing someone’s beliefs and behavior.

You’re allowed to love your family without allowing their religious beliefs to determine your choices.

What version of this have you heard? by @ashleysbuckner

1k

208

10 days ago

@michelle.nailedit I think this sums up how safe I feel in our relationship 😂💁‍♀️🍒 by @ashleysbuckner

252

34

11 days ago