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Ayla Jay Darklis

@ayladarklis

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Dirtbag dyke,
RCI, kinda alright at climbing.
Slab obsessed
Trying to find a joyful existence.
Always looking for climbing pals
🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈 🧗🚚

POSTS STORIES REELS

The last time I actually felt safe climbing alone was at the very start of this year.
And the feeling unsafe has absolutely nothing to do with climbing itself although it has seeped into head game for leading especially on trad.

Had a good session, the climbing was fun the weather was nice. And I topped the boulder all good right.
On my way back to the van a guy started chatting to me, and the proceeded to be massively racist, I called him out which made him pretty aggy. He followed as I was walking back towards my van ranting at me, racism changed to transphobia because he wanted to direct his hatred at me. So I changed my direction to head towards the cafe.
That did the trick to get him to leave me alone.

I got myself back to the van, chucked the pads in and took Ren out for a walk. Hoping to decompress. Not long after leaving the van 2 other men started talking at me, they started the conversation by describing my van and asking me if I lived in it.
And then one of them proceeded straight to question me about what’s in my pants.

Thankfully I had Ren with me and I guess he sensed my concern and did a good job of being much more aggressive than his normal placid self.

I’m not really sure exactly why I’ve decided to actually share the full story of the day I got myself second 7A boulder but I have referred to my ruined mental health quite a lot this year.
So I guess some backstory to why I’m dealing with huge amounts of anxiety surrounding the one thing that used to be my escape from the stress and anxiety of life.

#transclimber #mentalhealthawareness by @ayladarklis

My introduction to sea cliffs.
Earlier in the year I offered to support @ian.cooper101 on their ridiculous project.

Having never been to Pembroke or any sea cliffs previously this was maybe a not very well thought out on my behalf.

Climbing wise I did very little as I was ridiculously overwhelmed by the situation I’d put myself in.

Day 1 involved getting pumped out of my mind after watching Ian walk up their warm up.
And then the big scary part of learning to dewmar. Which tbh didn’t go that well.
I got very overwhelmed and ended up coming back to the solid floor instead of passing the rebelay. And a lot of ‘what am I doing here’, ‘I’m so out of my depth’ etc etc.

Over the following days we sampled some of Pembrokes choss while I slowly gained a tiny amount of confidence.
On one of Ian’s rest days we found a slab that I’m psyched to come back for when conditions might allow shoes to last slightly longer than single attempts.

All the time the abseil and dewmar out of hollow caves was hanging over me in the background.
‘Why did I say I’d belay’ was on repeat in my head. Then a day of good conditions came and I had to put my big girl pants on.

Just abseiling in nearly caused a panic attack, but thankfully Ian’s psyche for the actual climb distracted me enough from my own terror.

And amazingly I didn’t even have to catch a single fall as send day was one and done, watching them fly up the most insane line I have seen in person.

And then I had some time on my own in the cave realising that this was the trail by fire dewmar session.
The only way out was the rope I’d come down hanging in the mouth of the cave.
The stress of belaying a wild E10 FA faded and the panic returned.
3rd time in my life holding a dewmar and I was on my way out of the cave. Wishing I’d actually passed a rebelay before.

Proud of myself for putting myself out there but maybe I should actually think a little more before offering belays.
Huge thanks to Ian for their patience and support.
And of course massive congratulations on actually sending.
I learnt so much in a really short space of time.
Can we stay inland next time though 😂.

#transclimbers #ukclimbing by @ayladarklis

Oh so pointless.
But fun. The blind backwards foot placement was almost certainly ridiculous and unnecessary but just because it feels good.
That’s kind of what bouldering is about for me.
It’s just playing on rocks doing silly things for the sake of it.
There wasn’t a sit start in the guidebook but also clearly was a sit start to this already eliminate problem.
#transclimber #ukclimbing #ukbouldering #queerclimbers by @ayladarklis

Getting my slate feet back in.
Had a few days getting reacquainted with the slate.
Had a lovely time hanging out with some queers and climbing feeling safe and chill.

Had a bit of a realisation about things that affect my mental ability to show up and climb well.
Having one super chill day and insisting a 7b
I attempted a solo onsite and backed off , proceeded to then flash it on a top rope as seems to be becoming kinda my default.
So now it’s scary and I know I can do it which for some reason makes it a bigger thing. Need to train my brain to believe in my body’s abilities a bit more.

Today I dropped my try hard shoes back with @llanberisresoles so fresh edges soon. ❤️
I’m excited for getting back into projecting in the slate. Just working out some logistical details for now and easing myself back into trying hard.

The most fun was had on
Toe be or not toe be 7b onsite
Swan hunter e6 6b got scared top rope flash
Goose creature e3 6a retro flash
Looning the tube approach shoe flash #transclimber #ukclimbing #lgtbqclimbing #climbing_is_my_passion #pride by @ayladarklis

🎉🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈Introducing the first queer only pay what you can introductions to outdoor bouldering. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🎉
Are you free on the 25th of June?
Are you a member of the alphabet mafia?
Do you climb in a gym?
Would you like to climb outside?
Do you have your own shoes?
Can you do a down climb in the gym?
Are you able to get to Capel Curig North Wales?

Still here?
Great there’s 4 spots available on this course. Dm or comment and let’s get you booked on.

Are you not free but you have loads of money and would like to support queers getting outside? Feel free to send me some.

Or just share this with people you think would want to come along.
My instagram reach is awful, probably because I’m somewhat political and also not very good with posting regularly so any help to get the right people seeing this would be much appreciated.

#transjoy #queerclimbers #🏳️‍🌈 #climbingisforeveryone by @ayladarklis

@climboutfest this year was wild.
I had the absolute best time, I even socialised a little more so well proud of myself for that.

I’m a qualified RCI purely down to the absolute angels organising the training side of things and this year I got to use my new qualification to run introductions to outdoor bouldering.

What a brilliant weekend, a total of 7 wonderful people over the 2 days, we covered everything from how to pick a boulder, what to take with you.
Where to place pads, how to deal with awkward landings.
Gritstone grovel top outs, slopey feet, slopey hands, slabs overhangs and even cracks.
The best crag snacks.
Down climbs.

Almost everything you need to know to get yourself outdoors with pads and pals
A week later it’s still sinking in that this is something I have wanted to do since I started climbing. Introduce other queers to the outdoors and help it become less intimidating.
I’m wanting to do this in a smaller semi regular scale at various locations in the uk.
Pay what you can afford instruction and coaching for the queer community.

If you have read this far well done.
First bouldering sessions will be in North Wales.
If it interests you and you can get to Northwales then get in touch.

#transclimbers #climbout26 #queerclimber #bouldering #ukbouldering by @ayladarklis

A typical day bouldering.

Got tired✅
Got scared ✅
Had fun✅
Got confused by guidebooks ✅
Laughed with friends ✅

First choice crag inaccessible

Second choice crag hasn’t been decided so a quick guidebook flick and a walk after we arrived and that crag also abandoned

3rd choice the easiest approach ever and got half an hour in before he midges came to eat us alive

The loss of fitness combined with the bonus not knowing where I was going definitely made the top of this feel spicier than needed.
No doubt this is probably a f2 warm up or something but who cares grades aren’t real and I had fun.

If you’d like to learn to enjoy yourself in this environment have I got the course for you. 😉
Slide in to the dms and let’s chat.

Or alternatively if you just like watching a transwoman scare herself then stick around.

#transclimber #queerclimbers #ukclimbing by @ayladarklis

So here goes, a little sneak peak of a project I have been slowly working away on.

Do you climb indoors?
Do you like rocks?
Are you queer?

Well I have just the course for you.

I’m going to be taking small groups of 4 on a chose your own adventure style exploration of bouldering crags in various parts of the uk.

They will be pay what you can afford, some will have a minimum level that has been set as low as possible. If you are part of the trans community there is no minimum.
It’s like discrimination but positive for a change.
These courses are only for people part of the queer community.

Comment, like, share etc and let’s get this reel seen by the community that needs it so we can all have a lovely time playing with rocks while the world falls apart.

#transclimber #queerclimbers #climbingisforeveryone #bouldering #boulderingcoaching by @ayladarklis

Part 2 of the ADHD chaos that has been ruling my life most evenings this week ✨️ and so far there's only been one Menty B about it, which was actually induced by a knee injury and not bike related, so I'd say that's all pretty good. There's not much left to go from here, a new chain, sort a minor issue with the rear brakes and then just wait for grips and pedals to arrive. I'm so excited and super grateful for my bestie @ayladarklis for teaching me and helping me throughout this silly dopamine project 💘
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#girlswithtattoos #bicycle #adhd #mountainbike #project by @ayladarklis

Part 1 of pissing about with my new to me mountain bike. So good to be working on another project with one of my besties @ayladarklis and having her teach me how to work on my bike. Very excited to get this (almost) finished by the end of the week!!!
Also huge thanks to @graffcityuk for amazing customer service and sorting out getting my @montana_colors paint to me super quickly after FedEx lost my original order 💪🙄
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#mountainbike #bicycle #adhd #project #girlswithtattoos by @ayladarklis

The vans now at a garage so I don’t had to feel guilty about not doing van jobs.
Spent the day recommissioning the last bike I built. Timelapse to stop me getting distracted by my phone. Working on something I made with my own hands has been quite a therapeutic experience, and remembering that these things are fun when it’s not as high stakes as the van you live in.
Although the test ride in crocs with a broken shifter confirmed I have indeed shrunk a little, but I have remembered how to ride a motorbike.
Now need to get it mot’d and up for sale before I get carried away with making its super queer.

#bikergirlsofinstagram #builtbyagirl #custombike #dykesonbikes #transgender by @ayladarklis

Another day of pissing about with @ayladarklis, recommissioning my workshop and playing around with the treadle saw that @thecolouroftheleaves got me last christmas 🧡
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#woodworking #tattoos #woodworker #tools #vintage by @ayladarklis