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Becoming Restoried

@becomingrestoried

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Learning to live reconciled with the stories of our lives.
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At long last, The Wild Way is ready for ordering.

This book is the culmination of a decade of storywork wisdom. It’s about moving through the liminal space between the old story and the new. About how to wander the dark forest of change.

Born from my stories of travel, assaults, suicide attempt, divorce, @becomingrestoried coaching, @tenx9nashville hosting and more, this is the most vulnerable piece of writing I’ve done.

It’s now available for pre-order dear friends. I would thank you sincerely if you got a copy.

Link in bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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Hi friends, lots of new followers, so allow me (re)introduce myself. I’m Michael McRay—storyteller, experiential coach, and narrative guide for people needing a better story.

Since 2013, I’ve worked at the intersection of story, trauma integration, and conflict transformation—helping people reckon with the narratives that shaped them and reclaim the agency to shape what’s next.

I founded @becomingrestoried and @tenx9nashville, wrote a handful of books (including my upcoming The Wild Way), and have had the honor of speaking, teaching, facilitating, and listening in story circles around the world.

At the core of it all: I believe story is how we make meaning, metabolize pain, and build bridges between worlds.

Also, I lead sea shanty singalongs with @yourshantymen 🙌🏽🍻.

If you’re new here—welcome. If you’ve been around a while—thank you. My hope is this space continues to be one where we can tell truer, kinder, braver stories together.

All the links are in the bio. taken in East Nashville, Tennessee by @becomingrestoried

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Book launch tonight Oct 21 at @thebookshopnashville! Open house from 5:30-7pm. Drop in, grab a book, get a candle, say hi.

So proud of this book. Can’t wait for y’all to read it. taken in The Bookshop by @becomingrestoried

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I’ve come to believe that ache is one of the most honest languages the soul speaks. It’s not just a symptom of what’s wrong—it’s often the signal of what’s unfinished.

For a long time, I treated ache as something to get rid of. To numb, outrun, or outthink. Thought life would be better without the ache. But what I’ve learned (and keep relearning) is that our ache is rarely there to punish us. More often, it’s there to point us somewhere.

Sometimes the ache is saying: pay attention.
Sometimes it’s saying: you’ve outgrown this.
Sometimes it’s saying: there’s more life waiting on the other side of this fear.

The ache might be an invitation—to deeper healing, to honest grief, to truer belonging, to a wilder, more authentic story.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

“It’s not sustainable to need all your nourishment from other people.”

For most of my life, I carried the story that my worth was proven by whether or not I was wanted. It was a narrative that said belonging equals value. And so, I learned to chase stability through other people’s attention, approval, and affection—like an IV drip I couldn’t live without.

But that’s not nourishment. That’s dependency disguised as connection.

Over the years, I’ve had to learn what it means to meet some of my own needs—to cultivate a kind of internal grounding that doesn’t rise and fall with someone else’s gaze. To learn that validation feels good, but it can’t be my oxygen.

The more I learn to source my worth from within, the freer I become to love others without needing them to carry the full weight of my self-esteem.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

“You’re not too much. They just didn’t have the capacity to hold your story.”

This is the framing of my talk at STORY 2025 @istoria_gatherings this week.

Sometimes our wildness really is too much for others — but not because there’s something wrong with us, but because their capacity and comfort haven’t developed to match our expansiveness.

I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to make myself fit other people’s comfort zones. You probably have to. But every time we shrink, muzzle, or prioritize composure over free-flowing connection, we risk trading authenticity for belonging — and that’s never a fair trade.

Find the people with the capacity for your wild ways.
Find the ones who can hold your story without flinching.
You’ll know them when you feel that deep exhale of being seen.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

“The dark forest isn’t a detour. It’s the initiation.”

I used to think the dark seasons of life—the heartbreaks, the unravelings, the in-between spaces—were proof that I’d taken a wrong turn. That if I’d just made better choices, I could’ve stayed on the well-lit path.

But the older I get, the more I see that the dark forest is where the real work happens. It’s where the shape-shifting begins. Where everything false falls away, and what’s true starts to take root.

You don’t go into the dark forest to die. You go there to be remade.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

“To reclaim our wildness is to risk being fully seen.”

That’s simultaneously terrifying and alluring to me. Alluring because what I want most is to feel fully seen, known, and loved (you probably do too…) and terrifying because to be seen means I can’t hide behind performance or polish. It means letting someone encounter the messy, tender, unfiltered parts of me—and not knowing if they’ll stay.

For much of my life, I believed it was safer to edit myself. To contort and be wanted rather than risk rejection in my truth. But that’s not living wild. That’s living small.

The work of the wild way is this: to let yourself be seen anyway. Not because it guarantees acceptance, but because it’s the only path to freedom.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

We don’t write new stories with certainty. We write them with courage.

Certainty has always been one of my self-protective tools. My risk tolerance has been low. My anxiety has made me want to predict every possible outcome before I take a step. Certainty feels safer. An illusion of control.

But learning how to tolerate the unknown is ongoing, necessary work. It’s the work of trust. It’s the work of story. Because no new story ever comes with guarantees—it always asks for courage.

And courage doesn’t mean being fearless. It means refusing to let fear punctuate the storytelling. Courage always requires fear, because without fear there’s nothing to be courageous about.

I continue to be reminded (literally this week in my life) that I cannot wait for certainty. The call is to step into the dark with courage, and let the story unfold.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com. by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is this: the pain in my early story wasn’t my fault. But the healing? That part is on me.

For instance, if I’m walking down the street and someone stabs me, that’s not my fault. But it’s still my responsibility to get to the hospital before I bleed out. In the same way, the many—maybe most—of the wounds life leaves on us aren’t our doing—but the work of healing, of tending to those wounds, is ours. No one can do it for us.

As I write in The Wild Way: “Your pain may not be your doing. But your healing—that is your responsibility.”

Healing doesn’t mean excusing harm. It means scraping the muck from the mirror, refusing to let the lies win, and reclaiming the truth of who you are. It’s hard, unfair work—and also the work that leads to freedom.

Pre-order The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at thewildwaybook.com.

#TheWildWay #BecomingRestoried #Healing #Transformation #DarkForest by @becomingrestoried

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a year ago

I’ve always been a fast moving person.

When I want something, I want it quickly—and I’ll throw everything I’ve got at it. Patience isn’t my strongest muscle. Sometimes that’s led to incredible things. Sometimes it’s burned me and others out.

But here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: genuine transformation doesn’t rush. You don’t get to tap on the chrysalis and tell the caterpillar to hurry up and become the butterfly. You don’t get to microwave grief. You don’t get to hack your way to wholeness.

The wild way to healing is slow work. It’s messy, spiraling, nonlinear work. And if you’re in the middle of it—if it feels like you should be further along by now—hear me: you’re not behind. You’re right on time.

Let your transformation take time.

Preorder The Wild Way through the link in my bio or at www.thewildwaybook.com.

#TheWildWay #BecomingRestoried #Transformation #DarkForest #LiminalSpace by @becomingrestoried

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I’ll be honest—this has always been one of the hardest practices for me. I’m wired with anxiety, which means I can usually name fifteen different ways something could go wrong before I ever step forward. The darkness of the tomb makes sense to me—final, heavy, familiar. What I forget is that there’s also the darkness of the womb.

That liminal space between stories—the old one fading, the new one not yet clear—is disorienting, confusing, and full of fear. But it’s also pregnant with possibility. The work is remembering that stepping into the dark forest isn’t my demise—it’s my renewal.

That’s why I wrote The Wild Way. Pre-order through link in bio or at www.thewildwaybook.com.

#TheWildWay #BecomingRestoried #DarkForest #LiminalSpace #Transformation by @becomingrestoried

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