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Bella Ferina

@bele.belfer

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Forcing myself to write this down because this March has been quite whirlwind, coinciding with some of the most important times of the year—which obviously doesn’t happen very often: The Day after Nyepi, The Night before Eid, and The Spring Equinox, or should I say the grand entrance of my #30? Lmao.

Reaching this age indeed feels surreal. I used to wonder whether I’d even make it this far. Life has thrown lots of curveballs and the past few years have been quite an eye-opener—the ones that kicked me right in the guts and knocked me up some hard senses, while simultaneously consumed me into so many different directions. Some of them were pretty excruciating and right now, I’m still trying to find my footing.

#30 feels like a mix of thrill and dread, sounds like a big deal that’s kind of exhilarating, the exact number that I don’t feel like embody (just yet, at least). There’s so much more things to do, to explore and to ponder about, but time seems to be flying by like a tickling bomb. Whose timeline is this anyway?

With my scattered and short attention span, I’m trying not to get more caught up in worries about next month’s (or even, week’s?) potential economic collapse. Perhaps I should just take a step back, put my phone down and stop scrolling. by @bele.belfer

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7 months ago

That particular scene throughout the trip seemed to have it instilled in the very corner of my brain.

I got caught up in the endless view of the horizon and the hushed calmness of its interesting hue, with such gradual change of a greyish teal that slowly altered into something deeper, more contrasting blue. The relentless sound of the machine accompanied by that distant chirping of roaming birds in the afternoon sky, fulfilled that soothing silence from the continually moving boat.

As it was passing further to the middle of the ocean and driving its way back to the earlier place, this kind of landscape constantly permeated my vision. Except on the irregular noises that were almost imperceptible, no one was really saying anything. Everybody was sitting, waiting for nothing. The warmth of the sun, merged with that dampness of a thick, saline air, felt a little bit suffocating. At the same time, the blazing rays had steadily gotten more intense. All I could think of was how it deliberately crashed its course to the very surface of my dry skin, leaving several drops of sweat hanging faintly on the edge of my forehead.

And it was 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.

The sight, the smell, and the sound were all continuum. For some reason, I couldn’t handle my eyes from closing its lid, drowning even further at the juncture of such bewitching view, my inner monologue, and this persistent, lingering fatigue. The longer the boat went, the heavier my eyes got, and the higher intensity they all became. Even until it ultimately reached the end shore, I still hadn’t yet able to obliviate the view and dismiss it all out.

And the sea was 𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨.

#parileftovers by @bele.belfer

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3 years ago

Probably the most impulsive trip I’ve ever done so far.

Barely had any expectation at all but turned out the whole thing (especially the ~limpy~ snorkeling session and the 5-6 hours long of a back-to-back boat passage) was totally worth this one day craze of a spontaneous escapade.

Except on the part where my supposed-to-be-waterproof phone case was unable to filter out the seawater and thus, brutally killed my phone (👎🏻 SALINE), I think I’d totally go down for another route 🏝️🤿🐟🤳📵💀 by @bele.belfer

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3 years ago

🌅 by @bele.belfer

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3 years ago

by @bele.belfer

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3 years ago

To be more confused, anxious, scared, and broken. To continuously show up and face those uncomfortable things. To make progress, regress and to bounce back up. To stand or to fall. To be more self-aware.

(🌚 face of welcoming #27 my age) by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

🪨👀 by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

Last week sightings 🔴⚫️ by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

🌌 by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

A little bit too dark but I kinda like how it turned out
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#35mm by @bele.belfer

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4 years ago

🌚25🌚 was 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹 but I guess ✨26✨ is already going to be 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓃 𝓌𝑒𝒾𝓇𝒹𝑒𝓇

Still, grateful enough that I’m safe, (although barely) sane, and most importantly: Survived!!! 🙆🏻‍♀️ by @bele.belfer

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5 years ago