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Maryam | TEDx Speaker | Parenting & Intergenerational Healing

@blackandbrownparenting

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Keynotes on parenting, culture, identity & systems
🌶Helping Black & Brown eldest daughters and mums, break cycles
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It’s actually out. 🥹

My TEDx talk, “Breaking the silence women inherit”, is now live.

I’ve been waiting to share this one because this talk is so deeply connected to the work I’ve been doing for years, the things we inherit from our families, our cultures, our histories, and the things we learn to carry.

Breaking the silence women inherit.

At the heart of the talk is a question I’ve been sitting with for a long time:

What if some of what we call culture is actually inherited survival?

For me, this was never just about getting on a TEDx stage.

It’s for the women who came before me, and the women who will come after me.

Especially my girls. ❤️

This is just a little piece of it.

The full talk is now live, you can find the link in my bio.

If you watch it and something makes you stop, question something you’ve always accepted, or think about the women in your own family, tell me

#tedxspeaker
#intergenerationalhealing
#tedxtalks

TEDx | Race, culture, identity & inherited survival by @blackandbrownparenting

Here’s the truth few people say out loud: These patterns didn’t begin with us. They are the legacy of generations shaped by colonization, forced migration, and systemic oppression, a world that taught our parents that control, fear, and blind obedience were the only ways to survive.

In our communities, this wasn’t just parenting style. It was a survival strategy. Connection, emotional safety, and vulnerability were luxuries our grandparents and parents couldn’t afford.

I’ve spent years working with Black and Brown women who carry these experiences into their own homes, and the unhealed wounds show up tone, boundaries, and expectations. The children and teenagers we raise today are mirrors of that intergenerational tension: they feel the echoes of our unprocessed fear, even when our hearts are full of love. But here’s the liberating truth: we can break the cycle 🔥

If this hit, my next post will show you how 'taking the opposite approach of your parents' and overcompensation shows up in entitled, disrespectful behaviours that leave us parents questioning everything we do. It's WILD!

#decolonizeyourmind
#parentingwithpurpose
#parentleadership
#colonizedminds
#culturalconversations by @blackandbrownparenting

What were you programmed to expect as love?
‘I Didn’t Turn Out Fine’ isn’t just about you. It’s about breaking cycles, rewriting the patterns, and building safer homes and communities

I speak on the pipeline that needs naming. Cycles dont end with awareness. They end with action.

📩Speaker bookings & Collabs
Maryam@blackandbrownparenting.co.uk

#ididntturnoutfine
#generationalhealing
#consciousparenting
#breakthecycle
#rewritetherules by @blackandbrownparenting

If you’re listened to this thinking, “I don’t want to raise entitled children, but I also don’t want to parent the way I was parented” I get it.

Because knowing you want to do things differently and actually knowing how to do things differently are two very different things.

Sometimes we catch ourselves saying things our parents said to us. Sometimes we overcompensate because we remember how it felt to be controlled, and sometimes we’re so busy trying to get it right for our children that we haven’t had the space to look at what we’re still carrying ourselves.

This is why I created I Didn’t Turn Out Fine, a mentorship for Black and brown mums

Through this work, you can begin to recognise what’s being triggered, understand why certain reactions feel so automatic, and make more conscious choices about how you respond, with your children, your family and in your own life.

The group mentorship is currently closed, but I have spaces to take you through the framework one-to-one.

If this is something you’ve been thinking about, send me a DM and let’s talk.

#parenting
#consciousparenting
#respectfulparenting by @blackandbrownparenting

We can question what was expected of us as daughters. We can challenge what we were taught about being a wife. We can build businesses, make our own money and create lives that look nothing like the ones our mums had.

But motherhood can bring those old expectations right back to the surfac

If this is something you’re trying to work through in your own life, send me a message. Let's chat.

#motherhoodredefined
#breakthecycle by @blackandbrownparenting

A woman who belongs to herself. That’s the standard.

Not just to her roles. Not to everything she was taught a woman, daughter, wife or mother is supposed to be.

Because if you're a Black or brown daughter “this is just who I am” is actually:

“This is who I learned to be." 🌶

Listen, once you can see what you were taught to normalise, you can decide what STILL gets to come with you.

That’s the work I sit in with women.

Breaking the cycle doesn't mean waiting for your husband, kids, in-laws, postman or anyone else to change.

You said, it ends with you didn't you? I help you make sure it does.

#Immigrantdaughters
#consciousparenting
##breakingthecycle by @blackandbrownparenting

Thankful for @muslimwomenawards and @shaistagohir for creating spaces where our voices and experiences are heard. by @blackandbrownparenting

In big old 2026, some of us have turned into the very aunties we couldn't stand growing up. 😭

Look, I've been both. I've been at home, and I've worked. I'll forever be a devoted mother, whether I'm working or not.

But being a good daughter, wife or mother shouldn't mean spending your entire life putting everyone else's needs before your own.

I work with Black and Brown eldest daughters who are mothers, many who are successful, ambitious women, to help them stop feeling responsible for everyone's happiness, make decisions without drowning in guilt, set boundaries and show up in their lives, families and work without constantly questioning whether they're doing enough.

It's about being able to love your family, honour your upbringing and raise your children differently, while finally having the freedom to live on your own terms.

#muslimwomen
#eldestdaughterhealing
#reparenting
#breakthecycle by @blackandbrownparenting

A child-free weekend turned into a full-blown itinerary. 😂

Somewhere between bowling, dinner and the late-night cinema, we forgot we're not 20 anymore.

Would absolutely do it all again.

Tomorrow I've got meetings, mentoring sessions with my ladies AND a gym session. God help me. Because apparently I haven't learnt a thing about pacing myself. 😭😂 by @blackandbrownparenting

The venue is booked.
The programme is set.
The Light Through Loss Award has been ordered.
Catering has been finalised.

The @blackbabylossawareness Equitable Bereavement Care Conference is reaching capacity and we can’t wait to welcome our phenomenal line up of speakers:
@abueladoulas
@blackandbrownparenting
@princess.n.banda
@seetalsavla
@mistory_babyloss
@thefenfamilyandtriplets
Ayesha Anandji Demetriou
@zoeadelle
@tommys
@therapy.with.daniella
@readytoexhalecounselling
@theblackmaternaladvocate
@arcantenatal
@aure_assisted_fertility
@footprintsbabyloss

📅Friday 20 November 2026
⏰9:00 AM - 5:00 PM
📍Coram Campus, London

Register now via Eventbrite - link in bio!

Code BMH2026 expires tonight on Eventbrite as we finalise preparations for the biggest event in the @blackbabylossawareness calendar.

Preparations are already underway for our 2027 activities and we would love you join us as we close out our biggest year yet, as we keep action-focused conversations about baby loss in Black and Asian communities at the top of the agenda.

#EBCC2026 #SpeakerAnnouncement
#EquitableBereavementCare by @blackandbrownparenting

Sometimes the hardest part isn't figuring out what YOU want. It's being okay with the fact that not everyone is going to like it.

Some people will disagree. Some will have something to say. Some will decide you've changed.

Maybe, you've finally stopped making everyone else's comfort your responsibility. Own it 🌶

You've spent enough of your life worrying about what everybody else thinks, expects and wants from you.

At some point, you've got to give yourself permission to enjoy your own life. Not just the bits that everyone approves of.

#empoweredwomen
#breakthecycle
#consciousparent
#womenleadership
#muslimwomen by @blackandbrownparenting

Yesterday evening, I attended the Muslim Women Shaping Britain roundtable at the Houses of Parliament, hosted by @muslimwomenawards and @shaistagohir , and I came away with A LOT to think about.

Muslim women ARE shaping Britain. In education, healthcare, finance, entrepreneurship, leadership, media and so many other spaces.

We’re building businesses, leading organisations, raising families, opening doors and shaping the world our children are growing up in.

We can serve our families AND shape society. One does not have to come at the expense of the other.

I spoke about being the only Muslim woman at events and conferences where I’m invited to speak, and while I’m proud to be in those rooms, it raises questions about representation, whose voices are being heard, and who gets to be seen as an authority.

Because being invited into a room is one thing. Making sure Muslim women are represented in those spaces in the first place is another.

We cannot talk about Muslim women shaping Britain without talking about anti-Muslim hate and Islamophobia, and the impact these have on women trying to live, work, lead and raise their families.

We need to have honest conversations about race within our own communities, too. Being part of a marginalised community doesn’t mean we get to sidestep conversations about anti-Blackness. We can love our communities and still challenge them. Both things can be true.

We can’t keep celebrating individual women for breaking through barriers without asking why those barriers are still there in the first place.

We also need to get better at opening doors for one another. Share the opportunities. Make the introductions. Recognise one another’s work. Another woman’s success is not your competition.

There is room for us to do incredible things individually AND collectively.

Muslim women are already shaping Britain. Let’s make sure we’re not just celebrating what we contributing but changing the conditions in which we do it.

Thank you to everyone who made space for these conversations. It was lovely connecting with so many trailblazers 🔥🔥

@nazshahbfd it was such a joy to bump into you! Thank you for all your advocacy.

#muslimwomen by @blackandbrownparenting