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Amber Tillinghast

@breakthefknpattern

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❤️Following curiosity.
🙌🏻 Menopause advocate | Sobriety
☀️ Human design | Nervous System |
😘 Questioning societal norms

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Sobriety is both a huge gratitude and also a reflex and working part of my psyche at this point in my life .
I knew this special milestone was coming and I also kept forgetting .
This morning , a rush of memories from my drug induced years flooded in. I recalled the many ways I abandoned myself . The crackhouses I flailed in and out of consciousness in. The ways I sought love , validation and wholeness through men who were shells of themselves and barely just like me .
Emotions and reality was too much and drugs and alcohol , though I should have died many times , probably saved my life . I had zero other coping skills or tools in my toolbox when it came to feelings . Coming from extreme trauma including parental abandonment and multiple forms of abuse , I was a ticking time bomb 💣
The divine always carried me . Angels sent to me along my path that intervened. My grandmother was the first . Showing me unconditional love despite all the times I nearly gave her a heart attack engaging in my addiction.
The second was the therapist who told me she wouldn’t help me unless I got sober . 20 fucking years ago I woke up and had no clue that it would be such a pivotal and life changing day. I went to a 12 step meeting and met more angels who helped me learn how to deal with life without substance .
I have too much to say about this journey of 20 years then would fit in this post .
Fast forward , I am still gathering tools for navigating emotions. I am still learning to love and to trust myself . The journey is and always will be ever unfolding .
The most important thing I have learned is that substance is a temporary solution to permanent problems and I know with every fiber of my being that there is NOTHING a drug or a drink will make better . Did I have some fun ? HELL YES ! But the destruction I created within myself far outweighs any amount of fun I had .
I love my sober life . I love that my feelings are real . My kids have never seen me intoxicated .
I believe in myself . I am open to modern ways of healing in intentional spaces held by people who can guide and facilitate these sessions . No one gets to tell me what is true for me except for me ⬇️ by @breakthefknpattern

The nervous system isn’t meant to be flatlined into serenity. It’s meant to move. Activation isn’t failure. Emotion isn’t dysregulation. The work is building the capacity to feel, process, and return.
When people say things like “healed nervous system” red flag 🚩 alert .
You aren’t an object to be fixed , you are poetry in motion . Your nervous system can be worked with to create more joy , capacity , pleasure , expansion , confidence etc AND if you are engaging in the full and forever spectrum of healing you will continue to work on expansion till death .
I don’t know about you but I carry enough shame without trying to reach an unattainable pinnacle of “healed”
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#shameresilience #nervoussystemcare #childhoodtraumarecovery by @breakthefknpattern

I tried really hard for over a decade to drown my pain in the bottle , the pipe , the straw , whatever was around really. A saying comes to mind when I think of the ways I tried to transport myself to a state of permanent numb - “Wherever you go , there you are “
I wasn’t able to deal with life or my big emotions i had zero tools or desire to try to find any . At some point though , I realized that the drugs / alcohol were hitting different and I felt done . I just had no idea what I would do instead so it was pretty terrifying.
I was ready though .
I knew it was time to face my reality and emotionally grow. I’ve spent the last two decades collecting tools and I cannot imagine how much better early sobriety could have been had I found nervous system work .
Living in daily ritual with the work has collapsed timelines over and over . I am so blessed and grateful today .
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#nervoussystemhealing #appliedneuroscience #sobergirls #sobrietyisbeautiful by @breakthefknpattern

Spooky shit 💩 by @breakthefknpattern

I used to think I would be in the bathroom smoking weed and hiding it from my kids . What a dream … 🤮
I had no idea on day 1 that that would be the first day of a journey that keeps unfolding in front of me of a sober life .
I do not hold the standards of society that we need substance to celebrate a holiday , a Friday or any other day . I am paving the way as the disruptor in many ways and this is the most important one hands down .
Cheers @nicktillinghast to yet another sober holiday . I don’t take this for granted I am so truly grateful by @breakthefknpattern

If you have tried it all and are feeling at a loss then I guarantee you haven’t tried the kind of work I do .
I can show you how to access your own power with tools that hit up the root. No one can heal your trauma but you can learn how to build safety on your own with the tools I teach.
If you are ready to do the work , I would love to guide you through it . I am opening 2 spots for 1:1 mentorship in person or online .
Comment “info” below and we can set up a call to go over what it would look like to work together .
❤️ by @breakthefknpattern

Anyone else ? by @breakthefknpattern

I never knew such simplicity was available to make a huge impact in my life .
Now I know the answer doesn’t need to make sense in my human brain be use my body shows me these tools make perfect sense.
Also anyone else an instant gratification junkie?
I get that too because I know how to assess in real time whether or not a tool is working. It’s freaking amazing and I’ll never get over it .
I love who I was before this work and I also love who I’m becoming now that I know more. by @breakthefknpattern

📣RETREAT Dec19-20 📣
Nothing to Fix - A witchy winter solstice retreat

Located in a spacious and inviting home - pics coming - in Arvada,CO 7 spots open

Enjoy some time for yourself amidst the holiday hustle. Experience what it feels like to relax into a break from the fake smiles and bs and into authenticity, joy , self compassion and witchy touches and ritual along the way .
If you feel the call , comment “solstice” below and I will send the sign up link or dm me with any questions .
Me and @claire_geister are so excited to be facilitating this experience together and to see what souls are called in !

#denverretreat #wintersolstice2026
#witchywoman #witchywomen by @breakthefknpattern

This girl had zero clue who she would be come.
She is 13 in this picture . Her most prized physical attribute , her hair , freshly chopped as a punishment . Running to the sanctuary of her grandmother who loved her wild , loved her sass , her creativity and any version of herself she wanted to be. Tools in her toolbox consisted of weed , alcohol, meth and promiscuity .
She had no clue the rollercoaster this lifestyle was about to take her on . It seems dismal at best but it helped her survive . 4 rehabs and sober for the first time at age 15 . Relapse at age 18 . Grit was cultivated here . Resilience was demonstrated so many times looking back . Faith in my ability to start over again and again .
I had zero clue my future would include experiencing divine intervention in the way it did . A sober life I would be challenged to re engage with at age 26 and a man who would support me as I stepped into the role of the disruptor .
There is so so much I am leaving out of this story - for another time - my point is , I have thrived .
I get to shift the narrative and uncouple the messages I’ve nurtured for so long . I’ve come out on the other side. When I get low , I think of my story and inspire myself .
I am the answer I was always looking for . I am still the answer . A powerful creator of my own reality . A fucking bad ass truly .
I cannot wait to show her all that we are going to achieve in this life . by @breakthefknpattern

The more you know ;) by @breakthefknpattern

I’m an earth angel
I THRIVE on seeing the women in my life step into the best version of themselves . You won’t find a bigger hype girl.
Aries rising - Libra sun - Sag moon
Generator 2/4 and Nervous system guide
I bring a lot to the table .
I have found these modalities and ran with them as a means to a way to thrive amidst the adversity of life that we all go through to some degree in this human experience . My hope is that I leave everyone I touch a little softer and lighter than I found them .
I’m so blessed
Thank you to everyone who has trusted me to bring the real , vulnerable , soggy eyed , unmasked versions of yourselves to have made room for deep connection and healing I wouldn’t have it any other way. by @breakthefknpattern