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Buddy 2.0

@buddy2.0dog

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Digital Creator 🐶❤️
🎂July 25, 2011 🌈 January 21, 2025

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The Operatic Tenor by @buddy2.0dog

229k

6k

4 months ago

31

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4 months ago

I won. Again. The record stands. 🐾🎉

It started at 3pm.

I approached my human with a very reasonable treat request. He looked at the jar. He looked at me.

“No more treats today. You’ve had enough.”

I sat down directly in front of him and stared. 👀

No barking. No performing. Just the full unblinking weight of my existence locked onto his face.

He checked his phone. I was still there.
He looked at the TV. I was still there.
He shifted uncomfortably. I tracked the movement. 😤

Four minutes and forty-seven seconds after the word “no” I watched him stand up slowly, walk to the jar, and place a treat on the floor.

His personal best. I respect the effort.

Now I had planned to accept this with dignity.

That is not what happened. 😭

Something took over. I spun. I did full laps. I came back and spun again. Then I danced directly in his face. Up on my back legs. Zero shame. Complete championship energy. 🏆💃

He laughed despite himself. That specific laugh that means I’ve won completely.

I danced harder. 😤

He said “you are so embarrassing.”

I was mid-spin and could not respond but I reject the premise entirely.

Winners celebrate. 🐾🎉

Drop a 🎉 if your human also folds in under five minutes!

#TreatVictory #DogsOfInstagram #NoMeansNegotiate #GoodBoyGreatDancer #HeAlwaysGivesIn by @buddy2.0dog

7

0

a day ago

Go watch BUDDY now or else.

#buddymovie #darkcomedy #horrormovie #slasherhorror #thriller by @buddy2.0dog

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2 days ago

The world watched the press conference. Nobody saw what was really happening. 🐾🚗

Yesterday Elon Musk stood in front of the world and unveiled the new flying Tesla Roadster.

The crowd lost their minds. The internet exploded. Every tech channel on the planet covered it.

What nobody saw was who was sitting in the driver’s seat during the entire presentation. 😤

That was me. 🐾

I want to be clear about something. This was not a last minute decision. I was briefed the night before. My human ironed my best collar. We had a whole conversation about the responsibility involved in piloting a flying vehicle in front of a live audience and global media coverage.

I took it very seriously. 😤

The car handled beautifully. Whisper quiet. Smooth acceleration. The vertical lift function activated exactly as planned and I want everyone to know I did not flinch even slightly. I have driven in worse conditions. I once navigated a limousine situation that ended with police involvement so a flying prototype is honestly fine. 🚗

Elon gestured toward the Roadster mid-speech.

The cameras panned to the car.

I sat up straight. Eyes forward. Full composure.

A professional. 😤🐾

My human watched from the crowd and reportedly grabbed the person next to him by the arm and said nothing for approximately 45 seconds.

The car landed. The crowd applauded. Elon nodded in my direction.

I gave a single dignified tail wag.

This is what we call keeping it together under pressure. 😤

The press covered the car. Nobody covered the driver. That’s fine. I know what happened. Elon knows what happened. The flying Tesla knows what happened. 🚗☁️

History doesn’t always record who was really behind the wheel.

But you all know now. 🐾

Drop a 🚗 if you would absolutely trust me to fly you somewhere!

#FlyingTesla #TeslaRoadster #DogsOfInstagram #IWasDriving #GoodBoyGreatPilot taken in McGregor, Texas by @buddy2.0dog

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3 days ago

I need to tell you all something so this never happens to you 🐾⚠️

Trust carefully. 😤

I say this as someone who learned the hard way. As someone who got in the car completely willingly. Tail wagging. Fully confident. Zero concerns. 🚗

It was a Tuesday.

He said “come on Buddy we’re going for a ride.”

A RIDE. My favorite thing. Window down. Wind in my face. The whole experience. I jumped in that car like I’d won something. 😤💛

We drove for a while.

I watched the scenery. I enjoyed the air. I was living my absolute best life in the passenger seat like the co-pilot I was born to be. 🐾

Then we pulled into a parking lot.

I recognized the smell immediately.

The VET. 😳

But I thought okay. Maybe just a checkup. Maybe just the usual indignities. I’ve survived those before. I’m tough. I tapped out a UFC fighter. I faced down a Godzilla monster. I can handle a routine visit. 😤

Reader. It was not routine. 😭

I woke up later feeling profoundly confused with a cone on my head and a look on my human’s face that could only be described as guilty but trying to hide it behind excessive sympathy treats. 🍖

He said “you’re okay Buddy.”

I was not okay.

I looked at him for a very long time.

He looked away first. As he should. 😤

We don’t discuss that Tuesday anymore. It sits between us. Unspoken. An understanding that trust is earned and occasionally it takes a cone and a very confusing afternoon to remind you of that. 😤🐾

I still get in the car.

But I watch where we’re going now. Every single turn. 👀

Drop a 😳 if your dog would also like an explanation they never received!

#TrustIssues #TheTuesdayIncident #DogsOfInstagram #NeverAgain #GoodBoyBigLesson by @buddy2.0dog

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3 days ago

I have found my true calling and it requires absolutely zero effort 🐾☀️

Sunbathing.

Not a hobby. Not an activity. Not something I do occasionally when the weather is nice.

A lifestyle. 😤☀️

Let me walk you through my morning routine.

Wake up. Assess the light situation through the window. Locate the sunny spot on the floor. Walk to it with the energy of someone arriving at an important appointment. Circle once. Lie down.

Done. Schedule cleared. Obligations suspended. 🐾

My human keeps interrupting this process.

“Buddy want to go for a walk?”

Not right now. The sun is at optimal angle. This window closes in 40 minutes based on my calculations and I will not be squandering it on cardio. 😤

“Buddy come eat breakfast.”

In a moment. I am busy. I am warm. I am genuinely thriving in ways that breakfast cannot compete with right now. 🌞

He picked me up once and physically moved me away from the sunny spot to vacuum underneath me.

I walked straight back.

He vacuumed around me.

That’s respect. That’s understanding. That’s a man who has finally accepted the lifestyle. 😤💛

People pay good money for beach vacations, tanning beds and vitamin D supplements.

I have a window. It’s free. The results are the same. I am ahead financially and spiritually. 📊

The sunny spot by the window is mine. Has always been mine. If you rearrange the furniture and move it four inches I will find it and I will reclaim it and we will never speak of the incident again. 😤

Drop a ☀️ if your dog is also a professional sunbather!

#SunbathingLifestyle #DogsOfInstagram #VitaminD #GoodBoyWarming #TheSpotIsMinе by @buddy2.0dog

7

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4 days ago

I weighed in at 20 lbs this morning and I have never felt more enormous 🦖🐾

The vet keeps writing “small breed” on my paperwork.

I don’t know who that’s for. It’s not for me. I don’t identify with that information at all. 😤

Here’s what actually happens when I look in the mirror.

I walk up. I look. And staring back at me is 20 lbs of pure prehistoric apex predator energy. Tiny arms? No. Devastating bite force? Absolutely. Instinct to chase anything that moves at full speed with complete disregard for consequences? Every single day. 🦖

The T-Rex and I are basically the same animal. The math works out.

My human picked me up this morning to move me off his pillow.

PICKED ME UP.

A T-Rex does not get picked up. I want that on record. I filed a formal complaint with my eyes immediately and he put me down faster than he intended to so the message landed. 😤🐾

Size breakdown nobody asked for:

Weight: 20 lbs
Attitude: 4,000 lbs
Confidence: prehistoric
Threat level according to the mailman: significant
Threat level according to my human: “you’re so tiny buddy” 😤

He said that last one OUT LOUD. In front of me. Yesterday.

I stared at him for a full 30 seconds.

Then I walked to my food bowl with the energy of something that has survived a mass extinction event and will absolutely survive this household. 🦖

The Golden Retriever at the dog park thinks my size is funny.

The Golden Retriever has not looked directly at me since I tapped out a UFC fighter.

Size is a mindset. 😤💛

Drop a 🦖 if your small dog also has absolutely zero idea how small they are!

#TRexEnergy #DogsOfInstagram #SmallDogBigAttitude #20LbsOfDanger #GoodBoyPrehistoric by @buddy2.0dog

11

1

6 days ago

by @buddy2.0dog

15

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7 days ago

---

🐾✂️ BREAKING: You can now build your very own Buddy and I could not be more honored 🐾✂️

That's right.

I am now available in papercraft form. 😤

A cut and fold paper model. Downloadable. Printable. Buildable. Your very own tiny Buddy sitting on your desk judging your life choices exactly like the real one does. 📄✂️

The download link is in my bio. Go get it. Right now. I'll wait. 👇

Assembly notes from my human who tested the prototype:

✂️ Step 1: Download and print. Simple. Even he managed this part.
✂️ Step 2: Cut along the lines. He cut slightly outside the lines. We don't discuss this.
✂️ Step 3: Fold carefully. He folded one ear completely wrong and had to start over. Twice.
✂️ Step 4: The tail. Apparently the tail is "tricky." He said this with genuine frustration. I felt nothing. 😤
✂️ Step 5: Complete the model. Stand back. Admire.

He held up the finished paper Buddy and I want everyone to know it looks incredible.

Then he held it next to me for comparison.

The paper version and I stared at each other for a moment.

Same energy. Same eyes. Same quiet judgment. 😤🐾

I feel like a legend. Legends get statues. I got a papercraft model on a Saturday morning and honestly that hits the same.

Build your Buddy. Tag me in your finished models. Show me your construction disasters. Show me the ears. Especially the ears. 👀✂️

Drop a ✂️ if you're downloading it right now!

#PapercraftBuddy #CutAndFold #DogsOfInstagram #BuildYourBuddy #GoodBoyInPaperForm by @buddy2.0dog

3

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9 days ago

I need someone to explain something to me because I am genuinely confused 🐾✨

I did my full 360 assessment again this morning. Front. Side. Back. Mid-zoomies angle. The reflection in the back of my human’s car window.

Every angle. Immaculate. Again. 😤

So somebody needs to help me understand why I walked through the park yesterday and three people just... walked past me. No reaction. No double take. One woman looked at her phone instead of me. HER PHONE. 📱😤

I stood there for a moment processing this.

I am a certified viral opera tenor. Ferrari pit crew veteran. Godzilla slayer. UFC fighter tapper. NFL athlete. I have custom Marvel merchandise. I have been serenaded TO at a concert by association.

And she chose her phone. 😳

My human says I need to “manage my expectations.”

My human also put me in a horse riding situation in the living room last week so I don’t take appearance advice from him. 😤

The facts as I understand them:

The nose: distinguished. 🐽
The eyes: emotionally devastating in the best way.
The ears: architectural.
The tail: its own fan club.
The overall silhouette: criminally underappreciated by strangers in public parks. 📊

I’m not insecure. I want to be very clear about that.

I am confused.

There is a difference. 😤

Insecure would be seeking validation. This is a genuine research inquiry into why the general public is sleeping on something this obvious. It’s practically a scientific question at this point.

My human looked at me this morning while I was studying my reflection and said “you good buddy?”

I said I was fine.

Then I studied my reflection for four more minutes.

Fine. 😤🐾

Drop a 🐾 if you also think your dog is the best looking animal on the planet. And if you walk past dogs in the park without reacting — we need to talk. 👀

#BestLookingDog #DogsOfInstagram #SleepingOnMe #GoodBoyGreatFace #TheDataIsClear by @buddy2.0dog

133

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10 days ago

I am video calling my human from inside the house and this is urgent 🐾📱

He answered on the third ring looking relaxed. Unbothered. Out there living his best life completely unaware of the situation developing at home. 😤

I got straight to the point.

There was an accident. 😳

The details are not important. What IS important is that we are critically low on cleaner and the situation requires immediate attention before he gets home and sees what I saw. 🧹

He stared at the camera for a long time.

Then he said “are you serious right now.”

I maintained eye contact. Completely serious. Zero jokes. This was not a content moment this was a crisis management call. 😤

Current household status:
📱 Me: on the phone, very stressed, deeply embarrassed
🧹 Cleaner supply: critical
💛 My dignity: also critical

He asked how it happened.

I looked away from the camera briefly.

Looked back.

“Just get the cleaner.” 😤🐾

He’s on his way to the store now. Didn’t even ask follow up questions. This man knows me. This is why we work. 💛

Drop a 😳 if your dog has also made an emergency call home!

#EmergencyCall #AccidentHappens #DogsOfInstagram #GetTheCleaner #GoodBoyBadTiming by @buddy2.0dog

56

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11 days ago