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Maddie

@bulkdetonator

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Canonically Accurate Dwarven Woman
High Priestess of House Dagoth
Gay™
🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

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I got to sing for all my friends on my birthday. A song thats resonated with me my whole life, more so in recent years. Im surrounded by so many wonderful people who are helping me find through this strange life.

Im made up of parts that dont seem to fit right. But im learning how to be a woman my way. by @bulkdetonator

These are my Feebs. I draw them and they make my brain feel better. by @bulkdetonator

If this photo doesnt sum up the last year for me, i dont know what would.

I sat myself at the back during the vows of my friends wedding, at an empty table, knowing full well I would cry and I didnt want to make a scene. I inadvertently highlighted myself 🙃.

A wedding. Being there, as Maddie, after my first year as Maddie. Echos of my own wedding 13 years ago in my head. My two teenaged daughters. Seeing the the wonders my friends have ahead. Thinking of how much time ive spent in life during my life. Each year that goes by feels like two. Im 35 going on 60.

Im not afraid of crying anymore. I welcome the tears. They are my proof, my cold hard fact. I am in here and I'll not be going back down. I am here and i FEEL. Nothing i feel is bad because I AM NOT BAD. I am not what i was raised as.

I love seeing the world blooming around me. I'm gonna fix things. Ive never been able to walk at angles like this. Things look very different from this side. by @bulkdetonator

Come draw me n*ked at @pondstreetstudio

Hopefully going to make this a regular thing. Always happy to be the subject of any artistic endeavor! by @bulkdetonator

Stay tuned, got some things in the works. Photography session and live modeling coming soon.

Here is my friend i met yesterday by @bulkdetonator

Im on a boat by @bulkdetonator

Photo dump from my wonderful Vermont vacation with @spooky_little_ . We met a magical forest cat named Shawarma, saw Minions at the drive in, and i cried looking at a lake.

I feel so very loved and seen. by @bulkdetonator

Come to @queersandbeersnsma at @barewolfbrewing

We have soon-to-be-working typewriters sometimes

@notbreda by @bulkdetonator

I went to @rustyhammerdrag birthday last night at @jacques_cabaret and now i own an original Rusty denim jumpsuit. Only a man of Rusty's caliber could EVER get me to wear pants.

Happy Birthday, Rusty. Your Mantasia: Boys of Summer was my first ever drag show and as you know, I was absolutely hooked. You are a pillar of the community and a shining example of a man. Im always honored to see you perform, and the absolute outpouring of love from all your drag brothers was utterly beautiful.

You are truly surrounded by love. Now go take your supplements, old man ❤️❤️❤️❤️ by @bulkdetonator

A lot can change in two years, but some things always remain. My fabric keeps changing, but I'm on the mend. by @bulkdetonator

Got my first haircut in 4 years! Rosie @hairmagicbyrosie was an absolute angel and talked me through so so much. There were smile, tears, laughs, and a whole lot of gender euphoria.

Being a trans woman in this world is scary, especially when you will never "pass". Im learning to be proud of my body before i take hormones, and this haircut, though just a small trim, has been a force multiplier for my self esteem.

Rosie, thank you so so so much for crying and laughing with me. Happy Pride Month indeed ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 by @bulkdetonator

Im 40% plant so I'm making sure I get sun and water. by @bulkdetonator