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𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

@calledtoparenthood

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130

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Spreading kindness, one parentfriend at a time.✨
🧠 Former difficult child >> Current neurodivergent adult
🚫 NOT EXPERT ADVICE >> Peer support

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New Post!✨ Link in bio! Excerpt: Control feels safer than vulnerability. It creates a fantasized sense of self-protection. If blame can be assigned outside the self, it no longer has to be felt within. People recruit others into identities, narratives, and roles that regulate their emotional discomfort.

I’m refusing to tolerate or internalize the pressure to become the person other people need me to be when they’re triggered.
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#personalgrowth #traumarecovery #parenthood #identity by @calledtoparenthood

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5 months ago

It’s a work in progress. I’m a work in progress. We’re all a work in progress. Perfect is out, grace is in. Doing my best to be remembered as a ‘happy’ mom during their childhood. 🤍 by @calledtoparenthood

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2 years ago

I’ve never done a video like this before (so I don’t know the etiquette) but I was absolutely crushed watching this from @supportingchaos

How many times have I been there and the vague unsolicited advice screaming DON’T LEAVE YOUR CHILD — well it needs to be said and I’ll be one of the ones to say it, “it’s ok to leave”.

Your child’s tantrum/meltdown is an emotional and physical nervous system response to stimuli from their environment. It’s developmentally appropriate. They’re new, learning to cope and control their responses to things out of their control. Your child may not ‘grow out’ of these reactions like other peers because their nervous system interprets and reacts to stimuli differently.

Most of us are parenting while healing. We are unlearning and relearning how to properly cope. We’re trying to teach them and ourselves at the same time. So, LEAVE if you need. Safe places. Shake it off, pump yourself up, and rally. Silence the mental alarms, it’s not an actual emergency. Then get back up there and breathe, but also LEAVE again if you need.

Wait in the moment for your child to show they are ready for the added external stimuli (i.e., talking, physical comfort, eye contact, etc.). If they can’t be distracted, if they aren’t beginning to calm, or it escalated/re-escalated after 25min it’s a crisis and they need intervention regardless of their initial support refusal.

Only at this point would I calmly scoop them up, still with no words, and I’d rock them in my lap like we have no place we needed to be. I’d quietly let my heart ache with them for what it had to feel like to be so vulnerable— even if the catalyst to this main event was superficial! (Note: This is an example of what worked for our family, do what feels best for yours).

I stopped ruminating in my head about how frustrating the experience was for me and begging on a loop for it to be over or abandon them until they figured it out on their own. *And I could only do that because I stopped telling myself I couldn’t leave*. It’s ok if your response looks different than staying the whole time, mine included leaving until I didn’t need to leave anymore. #toddlermom #parentfriend #rally by @calledtoparenthood

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2 years ago

This isn’t a pretty post, but I promise you I’m always writing. I feel like I’ve been living deep in the throes of parenthood and someone keeps turning the lights on and off. 😅

This was today’s snip. It’s easier to sp@nk. It’s easier to yell. It’s easier to expect and scare them into masking so that we can maintain the illusion of our own self-control. Many of us are choosing another option, even if we don’t have it all figured out just yet.

I hope you’re all out there getting ready for Christmas by holding those babies. If you ask me, nothing else really matters. 🎄🤍✨

#newageparent #gentleparent #parenting #softparenting #parents #parentsupport #parentfriends by @calledtoparenthood

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3 years ago

Hey, it’s me!✨ I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you. Life has been a lot lately and I’ve struggled, but I’m still here for this if you are. I wanted to post a small little life update, if you’ve been curious about where things with this are going. 🤍 by @calledtoparenthood

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3 years ago

Hey there parentfriends!! I’ve missed you!! I made some space for rest and we’re back with a topic that’s at the heart of @calledtoparenthood 🤍 Hang out with us for about 5min over at the blog post where we discuss the prevalence of mental illness amongst parents. Click on over to the link 🔗 in the bio and engage with us, this is one for everyone. Soo much love for you all, thank you for being here with me!! ✨ by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

“Nothing, let me repeat for effect, NOTHING, prepares you for how hard and scary it is to be needed all the time. The pressure that accompanies it is often anticipated, and we’re initially very confident. However, once it’s here, along comes swift judgment and shame when even remotely acknowledging how difficult it is. Many of us don’t dare breathe a word of it out loud without regret or fear that someone else will mistakenly interpret it as loving our former life more than our kids. Even though no rule says, you can’t hold deep, inexplicable, self-sacrificing, love for your children, and at the same time desire to be your own person with your own space. Struggling with that will never make you a bad, selfish, or hypocritical person/parent even though it can be difficult not to feel that way at times. It can be comforting to acknowledge this is part of what it means to be human and not some robot.”
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Happy Father’s Day to all those amazing men out there! We see you, we value your parenting role, you are important to our children’s wellbeing. Click ↗️ on the link in my bio to head over to the new post on parenting judgement. See you there! 👋🏼
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#calledtoparenthood #parenthood #parenting #parentjudgement #parentperfectionism #parentshame #parentstrong by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

“Each day you give your energy away and use the remnants to take care of yourself last. Yet, despite all that you give, you still feel like most days you’re failing. Everything has compounded and just when you feel like you’ve met your breaking point, you find a way to manage. You’re caught between knowing what happens if you keep going like this and the fear of what happens if you don’t. I see you.”
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New post is up! Head over to the link in my bio. I love you all so much! Let’s take care of each other.✨
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#parenthood #parentstrong #parentfriends #trauma #support #affection #givegracefreely by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

Here we G O! First blog post is live on the website.🎉 It’s a 6min read and was originally drafted 3 days before I discovered I was pregnant with my first child in 2017. ☺️ I put the link in the bio, click on over there and check it out.
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We’re so excited to start this journey with you! Keep checking back every week for positive, relatable, anecdotes about this thing called parenthood. Let’s support each other! See you there, my fellow parentfriends.✨
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#parents #parentfriends #parentallies #calledtoparenthood #parentjourney #lightworkers by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

Helloooooo Friday-eve! Who else is feelin’ the struggle this week!? 🙋🏽‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏾‍♂️🙋🏻‍♂️🙋🏼‍♂️🙋🏽‍♂️
There’s no shame in our game. Phone a friend, send out that SOS! Have a good laugh about something your kid(s) did this week and share in a cheers to the magical madness of the thing called parenthood. WE LOVE YOU! See you soon.✨
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#parenthood #parentfriends #coldcoffee #redwine #weekendwarriors #parentwarriors #quarantineparenting #everydayparenting by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

Hey friends! 👋🏼 We’re so excited that you are here! We can’t wait to share with you and support you in your version of the parenting journey.
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We love you and we skipped the formalities because we’re just gonna get right to being best friends. We accept you, as you are, right now. No conditions, just a whole lot of trust.
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If you haven’t already head over to the link 🔗 in our bio and visit the welcome page and about page for more details on what’s coming. See you there!
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#calledtoparenthood #parentjourney #parentallies #parentfriends by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago

“It’s strange going from the concept of absolutely don’t get pregnant to the notion of ok, we waited, we planned (like everyone said). Now was as good of a time as any and then nothing happens. Nada. Zip, zilch. Absolutely, NOTHING.
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Although, that didn't stop me from thinking with every possible chance that we were in fact pregnant. Next thing you know months go by and then the months turn into a whole year, all without a sign that anything is changing, except our patience and growing concern. Just like many others, I had assumed this wouldn't happen to us.”
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More on the blog, full post coming—05.30.20✨
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Check out the link in my bio. 👀☝🏼
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#infertility #infertilityawareness #parenthood #motherhood #fatherhood #mom #dad #parents #parentfriends #calledtoparenthood by @calledtoparenthood

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6 years ago