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Cal Ta’Nous

@calsvisions

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historian of love
photographer 𐄢 filmmaker
santa fe, nm

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My family and I honored my mama bird with a celebration of life earlier this week. It couldn’t have been more perfect and we saw her in every single smiling face that filled that room. We poured all of our selves into honoring her absolutely brilliant life and gah, was it the honor of ours. If you were there, you know. And I love you so much.

Naturally, I made my eulogy a film. I love you more, mom.

In my experience as a photographer, I’ve found that the most authentic photos of us are taken by people who love us.

In the past month I’ve skimmed through nearly every family photograph, scanned hundreds of photos of my mom, converted hours of videos and sat with the overwhelming feelings of witnessing her life through the lens of all of those who loved her. In this process I am in awe of her beauty, her strength, her humor, and love that can easily be seen in every image of her…but even more so, I am moved to a deeper knowing of her, in the photographs that are not of her. She’s in the laughing faces of her sisters. The confident and imaginative souls of my sister and I. That sparkle in my dad’s eyes. The joyful spirits of her grandbabies. She’s there. And she always will be.

My mom was a naturally brilliant photographer and she handed me the torch.

Mom, I promise I will continue for the rest of my days to be in awe and bear witness to beauty. I promise to be a historian of love, just like you. As your daughter, my deepest wish is to make art as beautiful as you. by @calsvisions

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a month ago

Our most precious mama left this earth and returned to the essence on July 25th at 11:11 PM, surrounded by her favorite humans and an undeniable presence of peace and love. We are wading in an ocean of unimaginable grief, and we will spend the rest of our days longing for her presence. We are deeply comforted to know that her spirit is eternally free and will hold us for all of our days. We will feel her love in every single moment of beauty.

Our mama was the center of our universe, the beating of our hearts, the earth beneath us. Her potent humanity and profound vivaciousness made her a truly special being. A loving and generous daughter, sister, wife, mama, mammy, and friend. Her vibrant spirit lit up every room she entered. Her boundless love, quick forgiveness, and intentional compassion cared for and carried all her people. She cherished nature, music, food, spontaneous adventures, and above all else, spending time with her loved ones.

She was a true student of life’s wonders and mysteries, full of curiosity, and always present to the soul in all things. She noticed the beauty of every moment. She held deep gratitude at the center of her being and awakened this grateful presence in others. She inspired countless people to become the truest version of themselves by simply being herself.

She gave us a luminous childhood, full of love and joy. She was there for every high, high and every low, low. Her warm and comforting presence made her a prominent mother figure for our friends, cousins, her students, her grandbabies, our husbands, and countless kindred spirits she met along her life’s journey. Her light will shine on forever through all that she loved, and endless generations to come.

Mama, we will walk gently through the world and know your beauty, all the days of our lives. Our Mother Earth, our Mama Bird, our Beating Heart. We love you more.

A celebration of Cathy’ beautiful life will be held in OKC at the end of August; please stay tuned as we finalize details. In addition to medical expenses and living expenses, any donations to our GoFundMe will go to the celebration. Thank you to everyone who has contributed so far. We are forever grateful. by @calsvisions

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2 months ago

With humble gratitude, we’re calling on our community to support our precious mama and family during the hardest time of our lives. The link to our family’s gofundme is in my bio.❤️‍🩹 by @calsvisions

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2 months ago

Every arch tells a story and every corner holds a memory. 🫶

📸 @calsvisions

#taosnewmexico #newmexicotrue #minimalismdesign taken in Taos, New Mexico by @calsvisions

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3 months ago

a place where
the boundary between
waking and dreaming
body and mind
self and other
don’t exist.

#desertreefhotsprings #coloradohotsprings #hotspring taken in Desert Reef Hot Spring by @calsvisions

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3 months ago

emma, listening 🤎 taken in Colorado by @calsvisions

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4 months ago

A space that feels as good as it looks. Stay a while 🍸

📸 @calsvisions taken in Taos, New Mexico by @calsvisions

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5 months ago

two fire signs find each other in the middle of the desert ⚡️

@angelaautumnmusic at @desert.reef by moi! Folk musician angela autumn sitting in front of pools at desert reef hot springs in Florence Colorado taken in Desert Reef Hot Spring by @calsvisions

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4 months ago

and, there is this, too.

in a constant state of awe
by this tender and gracious
slice of earth. taken in New Mexico by @calsvisions

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7 months ago

my nephew arlo has been creating with clay since he was tiny. his bedroom shelves are full of little creatures and their christmas tree is adorned with custom clay ornaments. some of them even live with me here in new mexico, many miles away from arlo. I see how his art allows him the space to regulate and find presence, and like he said, peace.

there is such tenderness and beauty in these seemingly mundane moments. the people we share our time with, the questions we ask each other, the way we choose to express our deep feelings…it all shapes us like little clay creatures. there are infinite parts of ourselves that others will never understand, but those parts are our own to know and treasure. i hope that you can find peace in the treasure of your own presence too 🤍 taken in Oklahoma by @calsvisions

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8 months ago

Golden hour sun beams and the warmth of community 🕯️✨ Sweet moments from Alpine Wine & Dine at @thestakeouttaos in collaboration with @cornerofficetaos & @leossantafe 🤍 taken in Taos, New Mexico by @calsvisions

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7 months ago

breezy & ray’s elopement last summer amidst the wild lilacs and under a strawberry moon. I just love these two so big. 🥹

#taosphotographer #newmexicophotographer #santafephotographer #newmexicoelopement #elopementphotographer taken in Taos, New Mexico by @calsvisions

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9 months ago