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carsonkivari

@carsonkivari

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~We've lost the plot walking this world as objects..
We wont find our way back as anything less than souls ✞
~Military trauma expert, leader of Thrive

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Thank you, that this world isn’t enough. My ego’s hunger led me to all the wrong places, and yet the Voice beyond the material always called me Home. Meanwhile, a lion-hearted lass felt the same discontent, to be satisfied only when she one day peered beyond the tired distraction that we are taught is living.

Thank you to pain, because every heartbreak taught me to Look Up. The Mystery Beyond Time saved me from myself and brought me my wife. My wife, who I will choose in every moment until breath leaves my body, until we meet again beyond the weariness of this flesh.

#spirituality #love #marriage #god by @carsonkivari

I’d always choose you on our worst of days.

In the early times, you glowed like God’s hint that home wasn’t over.

In the darkest days you made me feel every wound that I’d built a lifetime of walls around.

Our enemy played tricks on us, and we appeared to each other as nightmares.

This was his fatal mistake, as we learned that all he has is lies.

We learned that spirituality isn’t about making ourselves bigger—it’s about shrinking in the context of where true Salvation comes from.

I gave up. I said, “I don’t need these things.” With each surrender, Heaven smiled and my eyes could finally see.

The storm passed, and every moment with you played like the best protected moments of my childhood innocence.

Love doesn’t flatter our desparate dreams born of pride and shame. It frees us from them.

I didn’t just find a life partner, I found a comedic nutcase like I am. A heart so loving that it aches to be near after coming in from the cold of my humble-brag ego and $20 words.

A soul that craves truth so that every day is a shared quest to speak the language of God that much better.

To my person: I’ll choose you on every worst day. Afterall, it was with you I learned that there are no bad days at all. Just those seen without Love.

#jesus #love #marriage #spirituality by @carsonkivari

If every culture organizes itself around ultimate beliefs, then even secular life functions like a religion.

The question isn’t whether we believe.
It’s what we believe in — and whether it leads to meaning or confusion.

What do you think?

#philosophy
#spirituality
#meaningoflife
#criticalthinking
#jesus by @carsonkivari

Spirituality was supposed to mean feeling at peace while doing whatever I want and manifesting my list of desires. Did The Secret lie to me? Abraham Hicks—tell me your religion of winning the lottery wasn’t built on shaky ground!

Instead, here I am learning that everything I thought I wanted came from sources that don’t have my best interest in mind. Everything I swore would make me happy has zero relevance to spiritual evolution.

Well. This sucks.

And certainly — if my greatest ego-plans never come true — I’ll be reduced to a ball of misery.

Except…

With each storyline I was convinced had to come true that I’ve let go of, I become happier. Through a process called Walking With Christ, I have become less self-centred and actually capable of making the world a better place.

The punchline of the universe: counter to every piece of societal programming—that getting stuff will make us happy, almost as if someone intended to keep us masked from our own nature for their own agenda—renouncing, releasing, letting go reveals something devastating in its simplicity.

Peace doesn’t come from stuff. It comes through surrender… and through relationship with that which creates you. Mine is God.

And if you never contemplate what creates you? You will be created by algorithms and reflexive thoughts you’ve had since childhood.

#WalkingWithChrist #ChristianSpirituality #SurrenderToGod #SpiritualAwakening #TrueNature by @carsonkivari

I’m even more guilty than you of dressing my ego in spiritual clothing. Of wanting a peaceful soul while being only willing to change 5% of life as it exists. Of treating the world as mechanical, with spirituality as a small accessory.

Modern society has done the same.

How’s that going?

All suffering results from ignorance to our true nature. If we felt even more a moment how eternally and perfectly loved we are, we would put down the poisons we crave and never pick them up.

At the moment of looming world war, devastatingly corrupt politicians, poisoned food, acidifying oceans and… oh right—baby eating—there is no longer the luxury of ignoring that looming feeling in our guts.

Do not wait until your final year of life to start studying what existence is. There is nothing more foolish than this, and nothing more encouraged by the distractions of ordinary culture.

Let the discomfort of reading this be a portal to the unimaginable peace of starting to orient yourself to the truly nutritious source of all being. God eternal, ultimate nature of existence—absolute truth beyond ignorance.

#spirituality #gospel #jesús #christ by @carsonkivari

#justice #accountability #critique #criticalthinking #askquestions by @carsonkivari

We’ve sustained decades and more of regimes explaining who to fear and hate, and we’ve ran with it willingly. This has worked so well that each time we are lied to or betrayed, we blame the most vulnerable amongst us instead of those with true authority.

The gift of darkness is that it may become so terrible there is no longer the option to pretend. Give up your amnesia and take the risk that there is something better than pretending that things are fine.

There is a better way — rooted in unity, awareness, and accountability. Most importantly, it is critical we understand that our blueprint is NOT to crave material and to view each other as objects.

Follow for more, as I slowly shift from ‘the problem’ to discuss solutions.

#justice #accountability #critique #criticalthinking #askquestions by @carsonkivari

#justice #accountability #critique #criticalthinking #askquestions by @carsonkivari

Feb 14, 2026 (two days prior)

To Jess,

It has been overwhelming to learn that while reality is ultimately Love, there are forces that sabotage our journey towards it. Lies through media gaslighting, distraction-politics, algorithms, poisoned food and childhood pain. Polarized, we devour our neighbours simply for acknowledging the predicament.

It sounds strange, but these same forces hate you and I finding each other. They cast illusions—making us appear to each other in haunted light so that we would run from each other, back towards wounded social conditioning.

But it didn’t work, did it?

Against our familiar hells, we stayed close. Through the rain storms of our hurt pasts, a candle in our hearts stayed lit whose flickers said, “This story doesn’t make sense yet, but stay with it.”

We remained constantly curious. We pointed out our blind spots. We questioned our thoughts and trusted our hearts. Instead of treating each other like objects we learned the reward was our relationship itself.

When I met you life changed. My road maps made less sense. A quiet voice said that if I can overcome my own self-importance, our love will lead us to the greatest joy we have ever known.

Despite adversarial forces, our path forward was gently illuminated. As temptations grew, so did discernment. No longer fooled by the table-scrap pleasures of bereft society, I wanted my soul’s Homecoming in which you are my best friend, my waking up ally and partner in Paradise.

Today I saw that it was time to start our walk together the whole way Home. On Valentine’s Day in the hills of Colombia I asked you to be my wife, for now and for always. I promised to you that I would stay by your side, using every spiritual lesson to destroy the illusion that keeps us apart.

And to those dark forces that target us… You’re scared aren’t you? You’ve tried to keep us cloaked in fear, shame and confusion. But you can sense it now—that the fight is shifting. Love has the final word.

You are going to lose.

To my new fiancée, know this:
We are going to win and this world will know God’s Kingdom. by @carsonkivari

When we feel bored, agitated, depressed or anxious, we tend to look for MORE. More solutions, more distractions, more entertainment, more pleasure, more religion, or otherwise something that increases our experience.

And yet stillness is what actually soothes the system and restores our experience and body chemistry to their pre-tragic settings.

Spiritually speaking, this is losing interest in the egoic self’s tendency to search for answers in the outer world despite that baseline awareness is already perfectly content. Buddhists meditate on the emptiness of phenomenon, so as to discover the tranquil enduring reality beneath all ‘things’ (though the reality they find also doesn’t exist, yet also isn’t non-existent 🤪).

Christian mystics, and the desert fathers and mothers that pre-date the Greco-Roman Westernizing of The Word also had a stronger emphasis on contemplative presence. That is something like removing everything that is NOT God, in consequence finding Him in the stillness—the process of ‘apophasis.’

The Neoplatonics practiced ‘aphaeresis’—the method of negating qualities and sense attributes until only The One remains (NO that wasn’t AI—I have used em dashes for literal decades!). Subtract the lies and only absolute truth remains.

Annnnnd a modern secular neuroscience take is that by ceasing to downregulate dopamine receptors through our constant hammering of stimuli we restore ourselves to peace with the native simplicity of our surroundings.

Either way, you can spend the rest of your life raising the bar of outer craving, or spend 10-20 minutes a day in utter silence and find that after that, a gentle walk, a simple book or a cup of tea provide more joy than you’d forgotten they can 😊 by @carsonkivari

Family and friends all served as the sources of love and sorrow needed to jog memory to its deeper nature. The comfort of love and the ache of argument eventually nudge us towards seeking something constant, beyond the addictive sea of ups and downs that inhabit relationships built on possession and not on Spirit.

Conflict cannot be solved on the same level of ‘needing to be right’ that creates problems in the first place. When we cling to correctness, we trade a volleyball of insecure selfish grasping. We trade our soul’s peace for mere drops of water, ignoring the inexhaustible ocean of love that wishes to animate our very being if we just allow it.

May we all continue to redirect craving from material, back to the Soul’s constancy of incomprehensible peace that asks only that we remember it. It is the best deal and greatest news possible, and it answers us the very moment that we invite it into our centre.

Thank you God unknowable for relentlessly jogging our memories. I pray for all beings worshipping their torment, that they make instead ‘look up’ and breathe the sigh of relief on their walk back home. by @carsonkivari

This Instagram journey has been a slice, and it’s also the end of the road here. This served as a kind of journal and portfolio to myself, but my sense of life has shifted radically towards God, marriage, leadership and the “unknowing” of prideful self obsession (he says as he shares his own story as if it’s worth reading lol).

Before I complete this very self-focused page, I want to share a run of photos from this summer with people I love very much. A book end to a social media journey of a decade that concludes with images of loving community. by @carsonkivari