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amanda

@chaosbutcalculated

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mom of 3 | engineer
normalizing the chaos of working motherhood
follow if you're doing it all (jk, me neither)
UGC creator | collabs 📩

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full send

Comment CAKE LINKS and I’ll send you everything I used to make my giant husband look like a CTC 🤝

#millennialmom #funny #momhumor #momlife #workingmom by @chaosbutcalculated

excuse the mess, me and my two remaining brain cells have lost the will to live

anyway, if your house also looks like a family of raccoons pays rent there, we should probably be friends

follow along for more chaotic mom life, questionable coping mechanisms, and absolutely zero beige-house energy by @chaosbutcalculated

full time employee. full time mom. part time pop sensation.

#momhumor #workingmomlife #workingmom #momlife #millennialmom by @chaosbutcalculated

Leave Jim alone, he’s a nice guy. He just thinks women are naturally better at taking meeting notes.

#workingmomlife #millennialmom #momlife #workingmom #momhumor by @chaosbutcalculated

she’s grown now

#millennialmom #momhumor #workingmomlife #workingmom #momlife by @chaosbutcalculated

There are a lot of reasons I married my husband, but the fact that this man will willingly dance around in a ginormous Christmas Tree Cake costume has really solidified that I made the right decision

Comment CAKE LINKS and I’ll DM you links to everything I used to make this absolutely ridiculous masterpiece.

Also, where the actual hell am I supposed to store this thing??? Wrong answers only by @chaosbutcalculated

attaching this to my performance review this year by @chaosbutcalculated

why do I lose every social skill I have when I step into a classroom with moms

the best I can do is awkward silence or awkward conversation

awkward moms UNITE

#momlife #workingmom #workingmomlife #momhumor #millennialmom by @chaosbutcalculated

Weiner jokes will NEVER not be funny. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules 😂💀

Girl moms, boy moms…we’re all just trying not to laugh at things our children say especially the weiner jokes (impossible)

Follow for more unhinged mom life because apparently this is who we are now.

#workingmom #workingmomlife #momhumor #momlife by @chaosbutcalculated

I have officially outsourced all car-related thoughts to my husband because the mental load is FULL. THE. HELL. UP.

I have three children, a full-time job, approximately 847 things to remember, and a brain with the storage capacity of half a peanut.

I CANNOT also be responsible for oil changes, tire pressure, gas tanks, weird noises, maintenance schedules, AND whatever the hell that weird sound means.

I will literally Fred flintstone this car into the work parking lot before I stop to figure out why it’s making that sound 😂

So naturally, my husband drives my car for the first time in forever and he’s got some questions 😂

WHY IS THE TIRE PRESSURE LOW?
YOU NEED AN OIL CHANGE.
WHAT IS THAT SOUND?!

The car has been trying to communicate with me for weeks, and I have chosen ✨not to participate in that conversation✨ 😂😂😂

TELL ME I’M NOT ALONE: What household responsibility have you officially declared “not my problem” because your brain has NO MORE ROOM?!

I need to know what we’re all collectively refusing to deal with in these comments (and give me more ideas of what problems I can offload onto my poor husband) by @chaosbutcalculated

a hectic as hell travel day but make it ✨aesthetic✨

And by aesthetic, I mean I’m romanticizing the absolute chaos of getting out the door and pretending I have my life together for 60 seconds.

I’m going out of town AGAIN!!! At least it’s only two nights, but the timing??? Ugh, come on!

We just spent an entire week together for fall break, and now I’m supposed to casually pack a bag, leave my three favorite little people, and go be a professional adult in another city???

The solo hotel room, uninterrupted sleep, and ordering whatever I want for dinner usually sound like a DREAM. But right now? I’d give up the entire room service menu to be home listening to someone yell “MOMMMM” from another room while actively refusing to tell me what they need.

Turns out, a whole week of uninterrupted mom time makes leaving a little harder.

Anyway, enjoy this ✨aesthetic✨ 60 seconds of travel chaos while I emotionally spiral somewhere between the rental car and my hotel room.

Follow if you’re a working mom who needs to be reminded this shit is so hard and there’s literally no rule book. by @chaosbutcalculated

spooky but make it whimsy!

idk about you but I just cannot muster the energy to bust out the paints every time we do a craft so here’s one THAT WILL KEEP YOUR SANITY IN CHECK….well until the baby dumps the box of beads all over the floor BUT I DIGRESS

#workingmom #workingmomlife #momlife #millennialmom by @chaosbutcalculated