Instagram story viewer> @cooperativecoparenting> Posts

Aurisha Smolarski, LMFT | Co-Parenting

@cooperativecoparenting

2.6K

followers

1003

following

The creator of the Cooperative Co-Parenting Method—a practical framework that helps parents build one secure childhood across two homes.

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Download All

If you are in the midst of a divorce or just thinking about separating, the Cooperative Coparenting for Secure Kids program is for you!

One of the most asked questions I get is:
“How do I make sure my kids are okay?”

That question means you care. But divorce is confusing, overwhelming, and stressful, and figuring it out alone can feel daunting. For most of you, you’ve never done this before so reaching out for help and guidance is one of the best gifts you can offer your kids.

💙 Cooperative Coparenting for Secure Kids is a 3-month live, attachment-based program designed to help you create emotional safety and stability for your kids — even across two homes.

It’s not the divorce that hurts kids, it’s about learning how to do it well — with clarity, calm, and truly knowing how to prioritize your child so that they can thrive today, tomorrow, and into their futures.

✨ Only one parent needs to participate for meaningful change to begin.
✨ Real support for real-life co-parenting challenges.
✨ An investment in your child’s well-being now and for years to come.

The January cohort is open for enrollment NOW at a special reduced rate!

👉 Learn more via the link in bio or comment SECURE and I’ll send you more info.

#ConsciousCoparenting #AttachmentBasedParenting #SecureAttachment #ParentingThroughDivorce #ChildCenteredDivorce by @cooperativecoparenting

15

3

9 months ago

Grateful and honored to receive another award for “Cooperative Coparenting For Secure Kids” from @the_bookfest

It’s incredibly validating to see both the co-parenting relationship and resources supporting co-parenting families being celebrated and recognized.

Thank you! 🙏🏼

@newharbinger @the_bookfest by @cooperativecoparenting

70

22

2 years ago

With so many new faces here, I wanted to take a moment to reintroduce myself! 👋

I'm Aurisha Smolarski, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and proud mom of an amazing 12 year old. I'm based in Los Angeles, CA where I live with my cat and my kiddo. With over 15 years of experience, I've had the privilege of working with couples, individuals and co-parents from diverse backgrounds, helping them navigate different stages of their relationships.

Relationships are at the core of healing, both in therapy and in our personal lives. I'm passionate about guiding individuals, couples, and co-parents through their relationship journeys, empowering them to navigate challenges and cultivate healthy connections.

As a co-parent myself, I understand the challenges and the importance of uncoupling well and fostering cooperation in the co-parenting relationship for the sake of the kids. My own journey and experiences as a co-parenting mom, therapist and a co-parenting coach have led me to write ""Cooperative Co-Parenting for Secure Kids: The Attachment Theory Guide to Raising Kids in Two Homes,"" where I share insights and strategies to help co-parents create a secure two home family system so their children can thrive. It's not the divorce itself that causes harm to the kids, it's how you do divorce.

It's truly an honor to witness the transformation of co-parents from confusion to clarity, conflict to cooperation, and loneliness to belonging. I'm here to hold your hand and offer guidance and support so you can do divorce well.

I'm excited to meet you. Say hello in the comments below! ⤵️😃💕. Photo credit @erickakreutzphotos by @cooperativecoparenting

77

6

2 years ago

Your child doesn’t experience their other parent as simply “your ex.” That person is part of their identity, their history, and often part of how they understand themselves.

So when a child repeatedly hears that one parent is selfish, irresponsible, difficult, or “the problem,” they may be left trying to reconcile two things at once:

I love this person.
And I’m being told there’s something wrong with them.
Does that mean there’s something wrong with me?

That’s a heavy emotional conflict for a child to carry.

You don’t have to approve of everything your co-parent does. You don’t have to hide your own feelings or pretend the relationship was healthy.

But those feelings belong with other adults, not on your child’s shoulders.

Giving your child permission to love both parents freely helps protect their sense of belonging, identity, and emotional security across two homes. 💙

#ParentingAfterDivorce #SecureAttachment #ParentingTips #TwoHomeFamilies #EmotionalSecurity by @cooperativecoparenting

0

0

3 hours ago

A lot of co-parenting tension isn’t really about bedtime, snacks, screens, or routines.

It’s about the loss underneath them.

👉 The loss of being consulted.
👉 The loss of having a say in every decision.
👉 The loss of a shared parenting system you once knew how to navigate.

That can make small differences feel much bigger than they are.

Part of building a healthy two-home family is learning that your role as a parent is still deeply important, even when your influence no longer extends into every corner of your children’s lives. 🫶

Kids of divorce don’t need two parents policing each other’s homes. They need two adults who know where collaboration truly matters, and who can create enough trust and stability for them to move between both homes without feeling caught in the middle. 👏 👏 👏

#ParentingAfterSeparation #TwoHomeParenting #CoParentingGrowth #ChildCenteredCoParenting #SecureAttachment by @cooperativecoparenting

11

0

5 days ago

Do you agree? Disagree? Let’s talk about it in the comments. 👇

#TwoHomeFamily #ParentingAfterDivorce #DivorceAndKids #CoParentingTips #LifeAfterDivorce by @cooperativecoparenting

16

1

7 days ago

Missing your kids on the days they’re with their other parent can bring up a kind of grief that’s hard to explain.

The goal isn’t to push that feeling away. It’s to hold it without asking your children to carry it for you.

Give those feelings somewhere else to land: talk with someone you trust, journal, move your body, make plans that bring you back to yourself, or create a small ritual for the days apart.

Your connection is still there, and time apart doesn’t erase the safety, love, and trust you’re continuing to build, even across two homes. 💙

#TwoHomeFamilies #ParentingAfterDivorce #ParentingTips #SecureConnection #TeamKiddo by @cooperativecoparenting

8

1

12 days ago

Collaboration is not the same as accommodation. But for some people collaboration sounds like giving in, yet again.

Here’s the h thing, if you’re the one adjusting, saying yes to avoid conflict, or putting your own needs aside to keep the peace, that isn’t collaboration.

Healthy collaboration includes flexibility and boundaries, meaning your perspective gets to stay in the room, while also being able to see the other person’s. The goal isn’t for one parent to give in. It’s to move away from “who wins” and toward solutions that say “I see you, I see me and together we find an option that works for both of us, but most importantly for our kid.”

If “keeping the peace” has started to mean losing your voice, let’s work on changing that. Schedule a free consultation with me via the link in my bio. 🔗

#CollaborativeCoParenting #HealthyCommunication #CoParentingDynamic #Boundaries SharedDecisionMaking by @cooperativecoparenting

11

2

14 days ago

Healing doesn’t erase what happened in our past. It changes what we carry forward and how we show up for ourselves and the people we love. ❤️‍🩹

In my work, I help clients bring awareness to how past experiences, attachment wounds, and old protective patterns may still be showing up in the present. With insight and self-compassion, we can begin to understand those patterns, soften what no longer serves us, and create more secure ways of relating to ourselves and those most important to us. 🌱

If you’re curious about what this work might look like for you, I offer a free consultation where we can talk about your needs and whether working together feels like the right fit. Visit the link in my bio, and let’s chat. 💬 🔗

#HealingJourney #AttachmentHealing #SelfCompassion #RelationshipHealing #TraumaTherapy by @cooperativecoparenting

16

3

a month ago

Secure attachment isn’t measured by how little your child needs you.

It’s built through thousands of ordinary moments when your child learns:

✅ When I need comfort, someone responds.
✅ When I have big feelings, I’m not too much.
✅ When I move away, the relationship is still there.

Over time, those experiences become part of how your child understands themselves and the world around them. They begin to trust that they can handle new experiences, relationships, disappointments, and change because they have a secure foundation underneath them. In my book, I describe this as the secure base that helps children “weather the storms” of adversity.

And for children growing up in two homes, this doesn’t require two identical households. What matters most is creating enough continuity, responsiveness, and emotional safety that your child never feels they have to become two different versions of themselves depending on which home they’re in. This is the long game of secure attachment: not raising a child who never needs support, but helping them build an inner sense of safety they can eventually draw on for themselves.

#SecureAttachment #CoParenting #AttachmentParenting #TwoHomeFamily #ParentingSupport by @cooperativecoparenting

3

1

a month ago

Transitions between two homes can carry more emotional weight than we sometimes realize. They are moments of separation/reunion and disconnection/reconnection. 🏡

It’s like asking a kid to leap from one side of the riverbank to the other without a bridge.

This is where Goodbye/Hello rituals can help create that bridge to foster the connection, safety, and predictability your kids need, instead of feeling alone, anxious, and uncertain.

🌺 Which ritual resonated with you the most?

👉🏼 Save this and share it with someone who needs it! 💙 by @cooperativecoparenting

5

2

a month ago

Back-to-school season asks kids to adjust to a lot at once. ✏️

For children living in two homes, that adjustment can include not only new teachers, schedules, and extracurricular activities — but also the ongoing rhythm of moving between different spaces, routines, and ways of doing things.

Transitions often require a little “shifting gears” time. Kids tend to do better when they know what to expect and have enough emotional space to settle into what comes next.

That might mean keeping the school calendar visible in both homes, making expectations clear, creating predictable handoff routines, or simply resisting the urge to immediately correct, question, or rush a child who seems a little off after a transition.

And if your child is suddenly clingy, irritable, resistant, forgetful, or emotional, get curious before assigning meaning to the behavior.

I wonder what my child might be feeling? What else are they adjusting to right now?

Transitions are universally hard, and we cannot avoid them. But as co-parents, we can make those transitions easier to understand, easier to anticipate, and safer to move through. 💙

#BackToSchool #ParentingInTwoHomes #SchoolTransitions #CoparentingTips #DivorceSupport by @cooperativecoparenting

5

0

a month ago