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Maybe: Camille

@cumeal

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expect nothing, appreciate everything
a mom. a wife. a bitch, irl. 🤪
✦ pole instructor — @camillepoles
✦ graphic designer — @hicamille.jpg

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Hi. My other design insta is getting rebuilt behind the scenes so this one’s going here for now. Really proud of this redesign & had to show it off so at least one person can reap the benefits of the torture I put myself through, designing my own shit lol. Tons of client work, personal easter eggs, a hidden casino, and of course I had to keep at least one f word somewhere lol. My pole page got a refresh too, it’s in the back car 🚃 link in bio 🖤 comment if you spot an easter egg or find my casino 🤪🎰 by @cumeal

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3 days ago

Brief interruption from my months-late photo dumps because these crispy little car pics of my new addition deserved their own spot. 🤓

Finally saw my SA after like six months and toward the end of my appointment we just looked at each other and she already knew what I was about to ask lol. She brought out two bags but passed on both (picotin 18 in ebene with phw not pictured), and then somehow ended up getting to pick one off the wall. So… it came home with me🖤

I’ve been wanting a Jean Paul Gaultier-era H bag for foreverrrr, and the Mini Jypsière was at the top of my list because I love that it has the Birkin “face” but on a little crossbody bag. Then my store had one sitting on the bag wall in noir swift with ghw and the newer leather strap. Literally the combo I wanted. & thank you to my husband for always saying “just get it” 😮‍💨🥲 by @cumeal

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22 days ago

Since my last post was a Dec/Jan dump, here’s a little chunk of February. Peak depressive phase, trying to fill the void 🪦

PS idk why it ways ai content when all I did was edit the lighting in some photos 🙄 by @cumeal

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2 months ago

Proof that I was, in fact, alive in December & January lmfao. Slowly making my way through six months of unposted photos lol soooo here’s the first dump 🗃️ by @cumeal

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4 months ago

Wanted to do a proper dump but it’s too hard for me to reminisce on the last thirteen months right now. Long story short: here are my main takeaways from being a mom (so far). Which are all cliché tbh but all so true lol.

1. Time is a thief. (I can cry right now just fuckin typing this lol)
2. Stick to your boundaries. No matter what anyone says. I don’t care who the fuck it is.
3. Listen to your gut. You know your kid the best. Use your voice. Be loud, if necessary. Advocate for your kids.
4. Your patience will be tested 24/7. Stay ready lol. Try to be a little more understanding in the midst of all the chaos. It’s okay to lose your cool sometimes. We’re human. But apologize after, regardless if they understand or not. Because they’re (little) humans too.
5. Motherhood is the hardest thing you will ever go through. Physically, yes, but more importantly, mentally. And no, not parenthood in general. Not fatherhood. Motherhood. Being a mom is the hardest shit ever. I don’t care what anyone says. I can get into it, but I’d rather not because y’all won’t read all this anyways.
6. Mother’s Day should be every fucking day.

Becoming a mom gave me a whole new lens on literally everything. And all that ultimately matters in this world is that she knows how much I love her, that I’m her biggest cheerleader, and her safest space in this world. Motherhood. Is. Fucking. Hard. But the most rewarding. by @cumeal

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5 months ago

Since I’ve been gone for a while… I’m running it back to December when I went to the photobooth museum down the street while my daughter was at school lol by @cumeal

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6 months ago

Went to fashionphile last month and once the staff realized I’d be sitting there for two hours for a selling appointment, they handed me the iPad to request anything in stock and told me to “go play.” So obviously… I did. So now this obnoxious post vomit has to live on my feed lol sorry by @cumeal

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6 months ago

Idk. Just trying to get my self esteem back? Lol. This was such an impromptu thing. I can’t even believe that’s me. Who the fuck is that?
Thank you to my bestie @simply.liv.photography for always reminding me who the fuckkkkk I am. by @cumeal

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7 months ago

Did y’all miss me over here orrrrrrr should I fuck back off since the current state of my life brought my dark humor back out and most of y’all can’t handle? Lol

Was gonna do a real dump but I’m not ready to reminisce yet. Maybe the next one 🥴 I already explained a bit on my pole IG so I don’t need to give you the what and the why again, so hi. He he, ha ha by @cumeal

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7 months ago

Hi! I’m here. Had to come back for my fucking sanity.

A lot has changed behind the scenes. My entire world flipped upside down. I’ve been on the wildest roller coaster of my life for the last ten-ish months and the last three of those months especially took a toll on my mental and physical state. I’ve lost 47 pounds (and counting lol). And no, not Ozempic lol. Not some diet. Not even pole. Just depression.

When your nervous system is constantly stuck in survival mode, eating becomes irrelevant. Your brain is too busy trying to protect you, prioritizing staying afloat over hunger cues. My stomach stopped growling. I stopped getting dizzy. I’d go two to three days without realizing I hadn’t consumed anything except for matcha lattes and lemonade. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t intentional. It just… happened.

After five years of fighting postpartum weight and feeling stuck in my body, I suddenly have one I don’t even recognize. As “skinny” and “confident” as I thought I wanted to feel again, this isn’t the way I imagined getting here. It’s complicated. This wasn’t some mommy-makeover-glow-up type shit. It was survival.

I’m all bones and loose skin. In an ugly way. Every part of my body is deflated. Empty. Lacking meat. Like Fat Bastard after he lost all the weight in Austin Powers Goldmember lmfao. I’m shocked my body is even capable of being this thin. And it’s fucking with my mental state/body dysmorphia in a whole different way because now I’m chasing an even lower and lower number every damn day lol. For what? Idk. There’s literally no fat left to lose. And I already look like a deflated balloon lmfao.

So I’m back to pole. Not to even tone up immediately or “fix” my body. But because it’s the one thing that can pull me out of this deep, black hole. This is the one place I feel fully alive in my body instead of disconnected from it.

We’ll see how this goes. So no, I’m not okay. But hopefully it won’t last forever (although this body better stay forever HAHA). Just laugh/bear with me and my dark humor… it’s the only way I know how to cope so I don’t keep crying in my dark, cold house every day. Sigh. Lol. by @cumeal

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8 months ago

Shitty dump but idc lol trying to be more present nowadays. But we had so much fun. Even though clairo did not show up for my number one fan husband 🫩 by @cumeal

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a year ago

FIVE 🖤 Five years with my baby. Five years of motherhood. One day she’ll know that all the good parts of me are because of her. by @cumeal

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a year ago