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@dan_tal_ion

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Soon to be Queer fashion designer. Elegance is authority unshackle yourself from imperfections.

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Link is in my bio. PLEASE HELP by sharing it or donating what you can. by @dan_tal_ion

Hard times are rampant these days.
It's not easy to ask for help given how much I've been thru and had to endure, but I'm running out of options, so this me taking a step out of my comfort zone. Please click the link below to help me evade eviction.
Share the link as far as you can. If you are able to donate, much appreciated and thank for your generosity otherwise please help share the link so it can reach as many people as possible.

https://gofund.me/eb0a8f475 by @dan_tal_ion

Life feels very suffocating right now. Not just for me, but everyone im certain is feeling it in some form these days.

This month, in particular, has been stressful, life threatening, and perspective changing. I was hit for the last time by my dad on my birthday and now am devoting all my spare funds and time towards permanently severing the family ties. But it won't be so cut and dry easy, but the long-term payoff will be worth it. And received an eviction notice upon my birthday, which I thankfully dodged due to help from certain individuals (you know who you are, and I deeply and truly appreciate each of you thru that difficult moment).

But this month broke something in me, I've been avoiding admitting to myself or to others for years. It's still an uneasy admittance to myself, but it's necessary if I'm to grow. I've joked about it or seen it as negative, but this month showed to me that it's a necessary pain to admit.

It's ok to ask for help but not rely on others so heavily that it'll be a miracle cure all. But occasionally asking for help is a sign of intact humility and being mature enough to accept and understand that one person can't truly do it all solo. It's still difficult for me to swallow given my difficult relationship with seeking outside help, receiving compliments, or even taking criticism without being cruel on myself that I don't deserve it somehow. But realized, THAT doubtful voice in my head is just lingering tramua that seeks to strangle my own voice out of fear of being seen. Or taking up necessary space because I was raised to not be seen or heard but to obey.

So this month, it taught me a lot of my issues are borne from not speaking up or just taking it than turning the other cheek. (The picture chosen represents myself silencing myself even though I'm sabotaged and broken myself so others could have it easy), but NO MORE! (Also if you have not read LAND OF THE LUSTROUS I highly recommend it to anyone of the Lgbtqa leage. It represents the community in a fresh light while also not holding back from truthful pains we've encountered in sone shape or form. That's where the image is from) by @dan_tal_ion

Today's outfit. Simple black and white dark academic gurl vibes. Even have my vi Tage Anne Klein oxford heels on. (They are SOOO COMFY!) wanted to post a movement video but it wouldn't upload. So here's some shots for ya. (Yes I'm without makeup. I know. Not great to look at) by @dan_tal_ion

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought "I do look pretty good In my winter attire"
What say you, followers? by @dan_tal_ion

As the darker end months of the year start, my depression washes over my mind, heart and soul to cause disalignment and sow seeds of psychotic burnout within me.
While recently discovering my autism diagnosis a great deal suddenly makes sense. The spike of irtability and sudden mood swings, the impulsive and intrusive thoughts that send shivers down my spine at just how disturbed I am.

But this also brings with it a new found clarity of myself I've not yet had before. A deeper more connective understanding of myself, my actions, thoughts and even how I process or decipher emotions within myself.

I've been dealing with naming or seeing the pieces of myself that make up the whole. My inner child, my interal manager and firefighter. Abd building towards finding my most authentic self. And in therapy I'm close to this (I forget the exact clinical name of these identities we all possess. If you've seen INSIDE OUT these are your emotions or personified pieces of yourself that serve a purpose to help us think, survive and even care for ourselves.)

So I've decided to not let my depression control me so strongly this year. I'm rebelling against my own past pains and going to start healing myself in a way I thought unreachable for me... by caring and loving myself by building myself and not allowing myself to test myself down.

My burnout is from realizing my autism and ADHD are tired of playing normal. Bebding to the normalcy of society and I'm done playing by or bending to their strict and often boring rules of how I should.
So this image strikes a core point within me. I'm creative, wise and hide behind many guises. Most out of survival or blending in.
So I'm acknowledging my masks and the purposes they serve me but this next year I want to try living g more without them. It won't be easy or a smooth road... but any adventure is fraught with peril or tribulations of sone form.

I'm a queer individual with autism, ADHD, PTSD, OCD, depression, anxiety and while they are details of my own portrait. They are not the whole, merely pieces that make up the whole and I need to start living more for myself and not let my my trauma control or isolate me from living. by @dan_tal_ion

Another fit for another day. Trying to boost positivity in myself. So showing off some of my fashionble fits. Today was a vulnerable day. So I went with a simple black & white, nautical look. by @dan_tal_ion

Since people want to see more of my fashion (and yes I know I dont have the best room or posing. I miss my actual camera with a timer) but this shirt I've had for nearly a year and it's a deeply emotional shirt for me to wear.

Storytime:

A few days ago, a resident from my previous retirement home job passed away peacefully. And I could not attend her service, even though i was invited by her and her family to join the ceremony.

But unfortunately because of how I was forced to quit said job almost a year ago, the manager banned me from the building. (Yes, I contacted HR and they got down on said manager but I was still banned all the same) so one step forward, still two steps back.

This resident knew I loved deep, rich and vibrant purple & violet colors. So she had THIS top to which she gave to me at the time of my leaving last year. Knowing a few days ago that I could not see her one last time with the shirt she wanted to see me in, shatters me. It's taken almost a year to wear this shirt because of its emotional connection. But now I shall proudly wear it in memory of the only resident from my previous retirement job who acknowledged, saw and would engage with me when I worked.

I miss you, Alice. I'm so devastated. That's my feelz reveal for this week. by @dan_tal_ion

Apparently people like my outfit for today so here's a 2nd picture of it. AND the heels I wore with it. So I guess I'll start posting more of my outfits. by @dan_tal_ion

by @dan_tal_ion

Happy birthday, Bette Davis (oh BTW she and I share a birthday. So there's that little tid bit of info for you viewers to chew on)

"Fasten your selt belts, it'd going to be a bumpy night." by @dan_tal_ion

Various shots of me recently.
Someone close to me once told me out of spite that I don't have any fashion sense. Yet everyone I've met or encountered since that comment (and even before than) has told I dress rather well.

I still feel a tad insecure at times because of that comment hurtful comment, but I'm wearing what I feel comfortable and confident in. If it's too Loud or too bold for some... well, that's they're issue and not mine.

It's taken years to feel confident in my looks and I'm just starting to explore makeup more. So hopefully you reading and seeing this enjoy what you see.
And if not, well... tough. by @dan_tal_ion