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Dr Mary A | Clin. Psychologist

@doctormarya

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👩🏾‍💼Storyteller
✨Helping people notice patterns & life traps that no longer serve them and to connect with their preferred selves
❗️IG is not therapy

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That feeling that you should have completed it all, whatever it is… Let it go! You’ve done well surviving the week! Happy Friday and enjoy the weekend. Time to self soothe 🥂

#happyfriday #enjoy #weekend #friday #fridaynight #fridayfeeling #soothing credit: #CaraDelevingne #vogue

Follow for more @doctormarya by @doctormarya

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4 years ago

Boundaries and accessibility: Although, how many people define boundaries may seem like we can all easily apply it to ourselves, it’s actually a very personal and unique thing for each individual.

It’s like a love language for yourself, the boundaries that work for you, may not work for me. Yet, I think boundaries can be about access. When boundaries are in place permission to access is likely required. For example:

🔐Permission to access your love

[boundaries for love may mean that people you love can not just do what they want with your love and still expect no conditions.]

🔐Permission to access your peace

[boundaries for peace may mean that your peace is protected from those who wish to disturb it]

🔐Permission to access your decisions

[boundaries for decisions can be about people respecting your choices and decisions, without thinking they have the power to change your mind]

🔐Permission to access your perceptions

[boundaries for perceptions might mean that your views and how you perceive things (including your thoughts or feelings about something) are valid whether people understand them or not. Also, you don’t have to be gaslighted for thinking and feeling the way you do]

🔐Permission to access your personal space

[Boundaries for personal space is about protecting your personal space, your home, your body, your energy, etc. You choose who comes in and out of these spaces, without violation]

🔐Permission to access [insert an area of life where boundaries may help]

These are only a few areas. Boundaries are everywhere; countries, nature (e.g. a river that sits in the middle of a forest has boundaries around it), etc.

Let’s give ourselves the permission to have and define our boundaries.

Happy Friday and for more post @doctormarya

#boundaries #access #love #peace #decisions #perception #space #feelings #human #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #psychologist #london #UK #daily #mindset #compassion #life #londonpsychologist #tips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

Masking Feelings: Most of us have (at least once) used a societally welcoming behaviour (such as laughter, humour or even conversation) to mask how we truly feel inside.

We often act out these patterns for protective reasons; perhaps to protect ourselves from feeling something unpleasant or protect ourselves from reliving that unpleasant experience, especially if it brings a sense of threat, pain, shame, or discomfort in anyway.

That protective pattern or survival instinct/mode may be helpful for the moment or in the short-term, but can it sustain us in the long term?!

Perhaps, you may ask how do we take our emotional mask off? It’s a journey and a process, especially if these patterns were once upon a time helpful. Even if we can’t take the whole (emotional) mask off, I wonder whether we can start by finding a way to (metaphorically) lower the mask away from our nose first so that we can breathe, and perhaps notice when these patterns are beginning to restrict us.

#emotional #mask #patterns #freeyourself #compassion #bekind #share #feelings #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #wellbeing #igers #reality #postivevibes #mood #depression #anxiety #mindset #igers #selfcare #daily #webstagram #quoteoftheday #successful #instadaily #inspirational #quote #earlybird #art #grateful by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

GRACE: Grace is a beautiful thing once we learn to give it to ourselves.

Grace in this context will mean giving credit to someone for who you have become because of how you were treated by them. So for example, people might say I have become stronger because of all the hurtful thing this person did. The latter part of that sentence may take away the full credit/ Grace you can give to yourself for using your own inner (or outer) resources to overcome a pain someone else may have inflicted on you.

Perhaps, you are at the “good”, “peaceful” or “safe” place because of YOU, and not because of them or the pain they inflicted. Give yourself the credit, give yourself the GRACE.

#fridayfeeling #flashbackfriday #grace #trauma #compassion #bekind #lockdown #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #wellbeing #igers #reality #postivevibes #mood #depression #anxiety #mindset #igers #selfcare #daily #webstagram #quoteoftheday #successful #instadaily #inspirational #quote #earlybird #art #grateful #healing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

Broken Pieces: It’s very natural for us to prevent things from being broken. Sometimes, this could be about our fear of losing the original thing we had or what if we can’t put together the broken pieces.

Until we loosen up our grip on trying to rigidly keep things as they are and not have them broken, including ourselves, others and relationships, we may miss out on the beauty that may come out of helping put together something broken (perhaps you or others’ may have needed the growth and lessons that come from breaking). Things not always going as planned or falling apart is an inevitable part of living and our response to them might be what makes the difference.

Ours and others’ broken pieces do not have to be a put off or a threat. Kintsugi - we can put together broken pieces with gold and it may shine even brighter than the original - imperfections and flaws are not to be feared.

Swipe to watch the video and head over to IGTV to watch the longer version ☺️

#brokenpieces #puttingtogether #repair #peace #love #light #stories #experience #feelings #human #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #psychologist #london #UK #daily #mindset #compassion #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #tips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

Emotional Temperature: We understand the need to check our body temperature when it’s too hot or too cold. We don’t just carry on with on with a hot body temperature, without pausing to make sure we get ourselves back to our normal temperature.

Why don’t we do the same with our emotional temperature?! Checking our emotional temperature can really help us notice and become aware of our internal state, which can be one useful way to help us look after our mental well-being

Swipe for video. Check IGTV for longer video ☺️.

#summertime #mentalhealthmatters #emotions #temperature #mentalhealth #mentalwellbeing #wellbeing #igers #reality #postivevibes #mood #depression #anxiety #mindset #igers #selfcare #daily #webstagram #quoteoftheday #successful #instadaily #inspirational #quote #earlybird #art #grateful #monday by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

THE MESSAGE YOUR FEELINGS CARRY: I know I am stating the obvious when I say that we are built to feel. However, it is important to state this because not every feeling makes us feel that we are built to function this way.

Sometimes, we try to get rid of unpleasant feelings because they may pose as a threat to our sense of self. I get it, no one would like to sit with unpleasant feelings. However, when all our attention is focused on trying to get rid of the feeling instead of learning to sit with it, we can miss out on the message(s) our feeling(s) would like to deliver to us.

Perhaps, a learning point could be to sit with the feeling, notice them, observe them and listen closely to what they might be telling you about your present state or whether a previous state has been triggered.

#feelings #awareness #selflove #peace #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #word #art #blogger #psychologist #daily #movement #mindset #understand #work #art #interior #design #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #psychoeducation #mentalhealthawareness #selfhelptips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealing #therapyiscool by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

THE INNER CRITIC: For example; have you ever said something critical to yourself before someone else says or notices it? Or have you repeated to yourself critical words that someone else has said to you (and possibly believe it to be true about you)?

Sometimes, you may think that by criticising yourself first, it won’t hurt if someone else says it or you may have heard those critical words from others so you learn to manage by saying “that is just me” (internalise the criticism).

These types of responses are perhaps our attempt to protect ourselves from further hurt. Although sometimes it may work in the short term, it often does not always take away the feelings (of hurt, sadness, disappointment etc.) that come with the inner critic in the long term.

Perhaps we can start to learn to be gentle with ourselves and introduce self-compassion to this inner critic that may have attempted to protect you from something or a situation you felt threatened by.

#compassion #innercritic #kindness #stories #experience #feelings #human #mentalhealth #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #psychologist #london #UK #daily #mindset #interior #London #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #selfhelptips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

RESILIENCE: It seems that so many people have personal ways of defining resilience for themselves.

Being resilient does not have to mean that you cannot be vulnerable or acknowledge what hurts. Being resilient does not have to mean that you have to withstand every storm on your own, even when you could do with a helping hand.

Perhaps, we build resilience when we learn ways to manage the pain, grow through them, learn about our vulnerabilities, know where our strengths lie and use this knowledge of ourselves for what lies ahead.

This process may require the support of others and we don’t have to always do it on our own.

#resilience #pain #support #peace #love #light #stories #experience #feelings #human #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #psychologist #london #UK #daily #mindset #compassion #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #tips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

PERSONAL MEANING: I think it is incredibly powerful how the personal meanings we attach to situations and events in our lives can really shape the way we think and feel about ourselves.

The meaning we bring to situations are really important because ultimately that can also influence our response. So, for example, imagine you saw someone you knew and waved at them from a distance and they did not wave back. Our evolved brain will start to create imaginary stories about this events. For example, you might start to think that person does not like you; how dare they ignore you; you bet they saw you or did not wave back on purpose etc. These thoughts can make you feel annoyed, resentful etc. The way in which you might respond is to ignore that person when you see them. I guess in this moment being perceivably ignored feels more like rejection than love. So here you are attaching a personal meaning.

So now, imagine the same scenario where you did not get a wave back and you start to think that maybe the other person has a lot going on, that they might not have recognised you or simply they did not see you. If, for example, you thought that person might be going through something, this might lead you to feel more compassion and then respond by calling them. Here, you are not attaching a personal meaning but rather looking at the bigger picture or as others may call it, taking a bird’s eye view.

It is therefore important to be mindful of the situations/ events we’re attaching a personal meaning to, as that can influence the (at times, unworkable) stories we end up telling ourselves.

Perhaps, we could check ourselves if we’re are attaching a personal meaning to situations that do not make us feel the way we want to feel.

#meaningmaking #peace #love #light #stories #experience #feelings #human #mentalhealth #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #psychologist #london #UK #daily #mindset #interior #compassion #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #selfhelptips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

EXPECTATIONS vs. REALITY: Expectations can be a helpful indicator of what we want, and at times, our needs. For some people personal expectations can drive them to meet their goals. Yet, it is important to notice when your expectations are leading to displeasure and distress.

When we hold expectations that are far from our reality, we can become frustrated as to why those expectations are not being met. This can also be applied in relationships. We know how social media can feed into our expectations and how these might sit outside of our day-to-day reality.

Be mindful when relentless standards and expectations begin to cause distress and check in with your reality to see where the mismatch is.

Remember: Managing your perceivably fixed relentless standards/ expectations in order to align with your reality do not diminish your hopes, dreams, desires, and wishes. It is about noticing life traps that might lead to distress and managing them.

#expectation #reality #feelings #human #mentalhealth #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #word #art #blogger #psychologist #london #UK daily #movement #mindset #understand #work #art #interior #design #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #londonpsychologist #habits #selfhelptips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago

OTHERS THOUGHTS, NOT OUR “BUSYNESS”: It’s a human thing to be caught up in what others think of us and to start to do things in line with what we think others expect of us.

When we become preoccupied with what others think of us and make it our “busyness”, we can start to work hard and give attention to that particular thought rather than our own.

However, this tendency can lead us to move away from our own values and what is important to us, and doing this can often lead to a lack of fulfilment within ourselves, which can have an impact on our emotional and mental well-being.

One helpful way to take the focus away from living what others think of you is by discovering what is important to YOU, your values, and perhaps to make that your “busyness” and “compass” (using your values or what brings you the most fulfilment as the thing that directs you)

#thoughts #experience #feelings #human #mentalhealth #awareness #storyteller
#mentalhealth #wellbeing #habits #word #art #blogger #psychologist #london #UK #movement #mindset #understand #work #art #interior #design #life #create #purpose #loveyourlife #daily #habits #selfhelptips #emotionalwellness #mentalhealthawarenessmonth #mentalhealing by @doctormarya

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5 years ago