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Drew Cross

@doglad_

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Mixed martial arts, investing, urban exploration, tattoo collecting, Animals, travel, ancient history, off-grid living.

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This is a pretty vulnerable and sensitive post but the message is important.

A couple of weeks ago, for no real reason, I hit an incredibly low point. Absolutely nothing triggered this but it felt like my world was crumbling around me.

I couldn’t sleep, got out of bed and sat in the dark with my head in my hands for 3 hours feeling utter distress and torment.

When I eventually fell asleep briefly, I woke up sobbing my eyes out and couldn’t stop crying.

Something dawned on me that I couldn’t shift. I was thinking about all of the work I do to keep my headspace positive, the constant grind of looking after myself and making sacrifices. Then I thought, even with all that work, I still have times where I feel horrendously depressed. Overpowering emotions of worthlessness, insecurity and self hate.

I am embarrassed to say I was having some of the most dark thoughts, thoughts of taking my life as it seemed like the only way out.

I couldn’t stop thinking about all of the things I had to do in the coming week. work, cook, train, coach, drive, laundry and other life tasks. All of those things seemed like such a mammoth effort and completely impossible.

A few days later it passed, I went to work, went to the gym, cooked, coached and went about my routine as normal.

The point of this post, is the reflection after. I thought about how many people take their lives, including some people I know and love, one of which as recent as a few days ago.
Then I thought, how many of those people, if they had spoken up or found the right help, may have come out of the other side. Even if it was only temporary relief but enough not to make any irreversible decisions.

Its important to remember that when you hit rock bottom, it will pass and always does, there are always things in life to be happy about.

I hope that those who read this, realise that it’s ok to be open about it and talk about feelings, no matter how embarrassing or un-masculine it feels.

If I didn’t know me and I looked at this photo, I would not think that the person pictured would be someone who feels weak and worthless. It happens to more people than you know and its ok.
Please don't suffer in silence. by @doglad_

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3 years ago

I have been to some dark places when it comes to my mental health.
The best way to describe it is that my mind felt like it was under attack. Every thought process somehow triggered more distress and any attempt to seek refuge in a different part of my mind only seemed to exacerbate the problem.
I know many people can relate to this.

I want to share some strategies that have helped me through those dark times. they’re not all easy but you have to be motivated to get better. When your motivation fails you, that’s when dedication kicks in.

- Turn yourself into a ghost for a year to focus on you, turn down the invites and work on yourself instead
- Hold yourself accountable for your actions
- Train as hard as you physically can
- Eat food that compliments your training
- Stop taking drugs
- Practice mindfulness
- Focus on your future
- Write down your thoughts
- Wake up early
- Work on projects
- Push yourself out of your comfort zone as often as possible

If you do all of this, I guarantee you will flourish physically, mentally and financially.

It’s hard to simply disappear and work on yourself, there’s a constant fear of missing out or that your friends will forget about you, invites become less frequent and the gap becomes bigger.
But remember, the friends that matter will still be there for you at the other end of it.

If your life isn’t where you want it to be, then you probably need to do something different to what you’re already doing.

Dedication>motivation by @doglad_

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3 years ago

Because fuck it, why not.
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#offgrid #boxing #mma #jiujitsu #offgridliving by @doglad_

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2 years ago

For the first half of my life I was obsessed with skateboarding. It was literally the only thing I cared about. As I got older I gradually spent less and less time skating until eventually I stopped all together.
I recently got really sick with Q fever which was horrible and I was stuck in bed all day every day just watching YouTube. I found myself obsessing over skateboarding again, watching skate videos on repeat.
As soon as I got better I went outside and starting making this ramp.
The cool thing is, a lot of this ramp was built from timber I salvaged from our house after it burned down.
Now I am rekindling my first love and back on the board.
Am I having a mid-life crisis?
Maybe.
I had a lot of fun building this either way. by @doglad_

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2 months ago

I had this lovely dream that I was relaxing in a beautiful sauna area called the zen zone.
I woke up in such a good mood and quickly grabbed a pen and paper and drew down the exact set up that was in my dream before I forgot it because I knew it’s exactly what I wanted.
A few weeks later and it’s all done.
Literally turned my dream into a reality.
This was such a fun project, it’s not quite finished, still plenty of finishing touches to add but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out.
.
Big thanks ro to the lads at @k_and_s_electrical for the power hook up! by @doglad_

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3 months ago

When our house burned down, we spent 2 days sobbing and in a state of severe anxiety. On the third day we decided we needed to snap out of it and go start trying to make our shed liveable which luckily didn’t burn down and I had already started doing work on as a side project but never with the intention to live in.
The prospect of using the shed as a home was the only thing keeping me sane at that moment during so much uncertainty and stress.
That was until I drilled into one of the timber’s and it crumbled into dust, I suddenly realised that it was infested with termites and needed to be all ripped out.
This was my “straw that broke the camels back” moment. I walked outside fell to my knees and just lay there, I felt like the whole universe was conspiring against me. My mental health was in the gutter, I was an anxious mess, we just lost almost everything we own including our new house that we spent our life savings on. I was just over it.
After an hour or so I dusted myself off, went to buy more timber and came back to start again.
I knew no one was coming to save us and feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to help.
10 weeks later and this is the result.
I did everything myself on this build except a little bit of electrical and plumbing fit off.
It was done on a very tight budget with lots of freebies, marketplace finds and upcycling.
losing everything makes you incredibly resourceful. Definitely a lesson in there, even if it is hard learned. by @doglad_

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6 months ago

Been a bit quiet lately, been going through some stuff.

This wasn’t the worst day of my life, it wasn’t even the second worst day of my life but it’s definitely been a very challenging period.

Nothing can prepare you for the sudden death of a mother or a brother nor can anything prepare you to watch all your hopes, dreams and everything you worked for burn down in front of your eyes.
I can’t even put into words the stress and utter devastation that you feel. Even worse when you see the woman you love distressed and heartbroken amidst the chaos.

Kate and I set a goal years ago to buy a house in crescent head, we worked so incredibly hard, long hours, set up multiple income sources, practically broke ourselves to be in the position to be able to buy this property and just like that it’s gone, before we even had the chance to live in it properly.

I’m not gona lie, I had some pretty dark thoughts right after the fire and the mental health wasn’t great, but there was plenty to be grateful for. No one was hurt, the dog wasn’t in the house, our shed didn’t burn down which I have been converting into a home and we have amazing neighbours that have been helping us out and giving us somewhere to stay.

We are currently anxiously waiting to hear from the insurance to see what they are going to do for us, after 5 long weeks we still don’t have a verdict. We didn’t have contents insurance so we lost everything inside. We do have building insurance so if they do pay us out then we will hopefully rebuild something awesome (within budget) and everything will work out ok, that mindset is what’s helping us through it.

The fire was started due to an e-bike parked at the back of the house, seemingly the battery spontaneously blew up, set fire to the roof and this then spread through the whole house. Please do not keep e-bikes, scooters or even lithium batteries in or around the house if you can avoid it. The consequences can be devastating. Trust me. by @doglad_

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6 months ago

I tapped into mindfulness in 2025 and was able to be more present than ever before.
Turning the volume down on the 47 mental browser tabs I usually have open in my mind.

It’s amazing how at nearly 40 years old you can still be out here discovering that your brain has an off switch and the nervous system isn’t contractually obligated to be in fight-or-flight 24/7. Who knew?

Thanks for tuning into my Ted talk that’s all for now. by @doglad_

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9 months ago

I’ve done this for the last couple of years and received some really good recommendations.
So here is my 2025 reading list ranked in order of how much it has the ability to change my thought patterns.
The past year has been less ancient history and much more reading on finance/economics & blockchain.
Arming yourself with this knowledge doesn’t guarantee success but it definitely increases your chances and I’ll take any edge I can get to create a better future for myself and loved ones.
Knowledge is power.
Please let me know if you have any recommendations.

1. Broken money - Lyn Alden
2. 5 types of wealth - Sahil
3. Short account of the destruction of the indies - Bartolome de las casas
4. I don’t want to talk about it - Terrence real
5. The divine spark - Graham Hancock
6. Underworld - Graham Hancock
7. The psychology of money - Morgan Housel
8. The dopamine brain - Anastasia Hronis
9. Jilya - Tracey westerman
10. Outlive - Peter Attia
11. Collapse - Jarred diamond
12. Hijacking Bitcoin - Roger Ver
13. Dont believe everything you think - Joseph Nguyen
14. Bitcoin billionaires - Ben Mezrich
15. Hardest money wins - Matt Haslem
16. A journey through Korean history- Steve Harwood taken in Chiang Mai, Thailand by @doglad_

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9 months ago

Come with me. I know a place. by @doglad_

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9 months ago

A week in paradise.
Next stop, Chiang Mai.
#kohchang taken in Koh Chang by @doglad_

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9 months ago

I recently read a book about dopamine and to be honest the book was quite boring but there was one chapter that really stood out to me that I keep thinking about.

The chapter was about 2 types of pleasure that we experience as humans. Hedonic pleasure and eudaimonic pleasure.

Hedonic pleasure is the short-term joy experienced when you do things that aren’t necessarily good for you long-term but feel good in the moment. Things like doom scrolling on your phone to pass the time, eating fast food that you know isn’t good for you but tastes great, taking drugs/ drinking alcohol, buying material goods that you don’t really need.

Eudaimonic pleasure is more focused on long-term fulfillment instead of short-term joy so includes things that you might not necessarily want to do in the moment but it’s good for you long-term. Things like getting up in the morning and going for a run even when you don’t feel like it, staying sober when you want to get drunk, prepping healthy food for the week ahead or saving money for your future instead of impulse buying material goods.

When I was younger, my whole life was focused on Hedonic pleasure. Partying every weekend, drinking beers at home, spending all my money and living week to week. Don’t get me wrong, I had a lot of fun, but I also had a lot of mental health issues and anxiety which comes with the territory of living a hedonic lifestyle.

The older I get, the more I have focused on eudaimonic pleasure even if only subconsciously. This paradigm shift in myself directly correlates with better mental health and more success in my personal endeavors.

I wanted to write about this because It’s a simple mindset shift that has the ability to elevate your quality of life.

Long term fulfillment beats short term pleasure any day of the week. Invest in yourself.

That’s how I ended up living in this paradise. by @doglad_

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10 months ago