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doublefistmatcha

@doublefistmatcha

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celebrated 5 years of sobriety with some of my best friends a little early since I share it with Mother’s day weekend 💐 5/9/2021 changed my life forever 🩵 big thanks to @cafeecleo for the drinks ☕️ @junelightphotobooth for the photobooth 📷 @partyfornia for the special guest 💜 @poppyfieldoc for the beautiful cake every year 🍰 and @creationsbystinaq2 for my cake topper 🐶💛 by @doublefistmatcha

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3 months ago

4 years sober today. 4 fucking years ❤️‍🩹 in 2012 I fell into a deep depression just before the age of 21, just after I became a single parent. I had developed a heavy alcohol + food addiction. I accepted almost every substance that was handed to me. I loved to drink to escape and I loved to eat to fill the void(s). two coping mechanisms. I hated myself. I was angry at the world therefore I hurt myself and I also hurt others. I’m not proud of my past.

5/9/21 I woke up from a hangover. I knew I was ready to stop drinking. I had already been drinking less and less at the time. my therapist immediately recommended AA and I made my way into the rooms. the 12 step program saved my life. I thank the universe (my higher power) every single day. on 2/20/24 I went into a doctor’s appointment because I knew my health wasn’t being taken care of. I gained LOTS of weight in deep depression.

turns out I had also developed type II diabetes. I reversed my diagnosis with a change of lifestyle. zero anti depressants, no long term diabetes medication and no surgery. just discipline, change of lifestyle/food and intermittent fasting. in 2024 I was able to navigate this next step in my life: food addiction. I now have a much better relationship with food. I am a strong believer that discipline/consistency and my mind are A LOT stronger than any substance on this planet, including pharmaceutical drugs for my blood sugar + my mental health. that’s just me. that’s just what I choose to believe in: myself. I lowered my blood sugar to get out of the type II diabetes diagnosis. I’m A LOT happier now.

I’m an addict. I can’t do things in moderation. just like I don’t want 1 Hello Kitty thing, I have 100. I don’t want 1 vacation, I go on 10 in a year. the fucking list goes on. the biggest lesson here was that NOBODY is going to save you but yourself ❤️ once you do - to me, that’s the truest and rawest form of self love.

I will never be perfect. I still make mistakes. my emotions + behavior are something that I absolutely STILL need to work on. my mental health isn’t always great. I’m trying my best. thank you for giving me space on this app to share this journey with you ⛅️ by @doublefistmatcha

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a year ago

3 years sober today.
still kinda nuts, still working on my own bullshit because I’m definitely never gonna be perfect.

shout out:
my therapist(s) for getting me through all kinds of cluster b shit every week and the last few years. my old therapist who also recommended the rooms of AA. the 12 step program. being able to show up for myself + others. vulnerability feels like pain, but truth and accountability have been able to set me free.

the big scary aka raw dogging life thingy called: straight edge. except worse because I’ve never gotten into caffeine or cigarettes and just recently broke up with sugar (docs orders 😈)

biggest shout out to the universe I call my higher power. God or whatever the fuck you wanna call em. organized religion is a scam but it doesn’t mean that you can’t live spiritually.

k there’s my rant. @liquiddeath me bb 💦 by @doublefistmatcha

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2 years ago

tf is a mud pool? idk but it’s at glen danzig’s hot springs taken in Glen Ivy Hot Springs by @doublefistmatcha

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9 days ago

punk mom patriotic son combo would happen to me 😔🤣💙 this will pay off in 30 years when he’s retired from being Colonel Sanders of KFC 🤧🫡 🇺🇸 back to back games at Dodger stadium all weekend with my #1 ⚾️ 4th of July fireworks from the field tonight. wouldn’t trade him for the world 👶🏻❤️ Oorah! or whatever. taken in Dodger Stadium by @doublefistmatcha

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21 days ago

mom’s post birthday grand slam (I’m the mom. it happened in the line to get ice cream)🍦💙 taken in Dodger Stadium by @doublefistmatcha

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22 days ago

summermaxXxing 🐛⛰️ by @doublefistmatcha

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a month ago

2+ years of hair growth (with a couple minor trims) since my last shag haircut in December of 2023 🦋🖤 I can’t wait for it the front to be the same length as the rest of my hairrrrr ☺️ the battle against hair bleach, hair dye and haircuts because of damage is done. war is over 🎶 🥹😂 by @doublefistmatcha

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2 months ago

@lilcrimespree 👶🏽 baby’s first pdx ✈️🌲 taken in Portland, Oregon by @doublefistmatcha

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2 months ago

momma’s home 🌲🏔️ taken in Columbia River Gorge by @doublefistmatcha

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2 months ago

🥰💙🌸🥰💙🍣 taken in Kin Sushi House Torrance by @doublefistmatcha

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2 months ago

for me… it’s always been about the small details. they mean the most 🎀💗 I was so mentally exhausted and anxious I didn’t sleep the night before! but it was such a perfect way to celebrate. I’m so happy I did 🥳 I’m not planning anything after this (okay maybe graduation) by @doublefistmatcha

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3 months ago