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Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD

@dr_ayodolapo

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THE ANCHOR COACH
Building a safe space for growth conversations
Lecturer | Writer
Image Consultant @ercyfashionco

POSTS STORIES REELS

Teaching. Learning. Growing.
#YoungLecturer #CampusLife #drayodolapo #TeachingWithPurpose #LearningNeverStops #AcademicLife by @dr_ayodolapo

Two rights can coexist in a conversation...
#drayodolapo #theanchorcoach #newweek by @dr_ayodolapo

Is Salvation really free?

#scripturefortheweek #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach #salvation #freesalvation by @dr_ayodolapo

Communication Is More Than Words.

Stay with me…

I have been talking a lot about communication lately, but today I want to talk about something we sometimes forget:

Joy communicates too.

A smile can make a room feel different. Laughter can break tension and warmth can make people feel safe enough to speak.

Listen, sometimes, your energy tells people more about you than the carefully rehearsed words you prepared.

Communication is not always about finding the perfect words but about how you make people feel when they are around you.

So, as we start this new month, I hope we remember to let our presence also do the talking.

Let people see your joy too.

Laugh, enjoy your wins, be grateful, take the picture and be present.

Welcome to November.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

Before you explain your idea, understand your audience.

Stay with me...

I have been thinking a lot about what happens when we introduce an innovation to different stakeholders/audiences.

The person who built it knows every feature but can they communicate it to different audience and not lose the core of their message?

For example;

The investor wants to know whether it can scale.

The farmer wants to know whether it will actually make their life easier.

Government may want to know what problem it solves and whether it can work beyond one project.

It is the same innovation but different questions needs to be answered.

And this is where communication becomes really interesting.

You cannot communicate an innovation effectively by simply explaining everything you know about it.

You have to understand who is listening and help them see what matters to them.

Sometimes, what we call a “communication problem” is actually an audience problem.

We are speaking from our own perspective instead of speaking to the need of your audience.

That is one of the things I am learning as I deepen my work in strategic communication:

Good communication does not change the core of the message; it tailors the message to the need of each audience.

And when people understand how useful the message is to their goal and why it matters, that is when communication starts moving ideas towards influence and adoption.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

You can be right and still communicate badly.

Stay with me…

Being correct does not automatically make your communication effective.

You can have the facts, the evidence or even have the best argument in the room and still make the person you are talking to stop listening after the first two sentences.

This is because communication is not just about what you know; It is also about how you deliver what you know.

If your tone is condescending, people may hear the disrespect before they hear the message.

If your explanation is unnecessarily complicated, they may spend more time trying to understand you than understanding the issue.

If you are more interested in proving that you are right than helping the other person understand, congratulations.

You won the argument.

But did you communicate?

This is something I keep reminding myself:

The goal is not just to be understood eventually. The goal is to make understanding easier.

I have come to understand that sometimes, the most intelligent thing you can do with a good argument is learn how to communicate it better.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

I stopped reading when I got to this sentence.

Stay with me…

Not because it was complicated.

Because it was so simple, yet it captured something I have been thinking about a lot lately:

“If you make it easier for your audience to find their way throughout your content, they’ll be better able to contextualize and process it.”

That is communication in one sentence.

Your audience should not have to work too hard to figure out where you are going.

And this applies beyond content.

Think about the last time you sent someone a long message because you were trying to explain yourself.

By paragraph three, even you may have forgotten the original point. 😂

The problem was not necessarily that you had too much to say.

You simply did not give the other person a clear path through what you were saying.

Good communication gives people direction.

What is the point?
Why does it matter?
What do you want them to understand?
And what should they do with that understanding?

When your audience can find their way through your message, they are more likely to understand it, process it and act on it.

That is something I am paying much more attention to these days.

Not just “What do I want to say?”

But:

“How easy am I making it for people to follow me?”

And honestly, that question can change the way we communicate.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

Sometimes, you are the one keeping the argument alive.

Stay with me…

You have said your point.

You have explained yourself.

You have made your position clear.

Yet, the other person is determined to keep going. See, at that point, you have a choice:

Do you keep responding, or do you let it end?

Look, the more you respond, the more room you create for the conversation to become something it was never meant to be. Especially when the other person is hell-bent on adding petrol to the fire.

I have learnt that silence is also communication.

You don’t have to respond to every provocation. You don’t have to defend every statement and you certainly don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to.

When you have communicated your point clearly enough.

Let your silence do the rest.

Effective communication is not always about having the last word.

Atimes, it is knowing when to stop talking.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

You talk too much!

Stay with me…

Have you ever explained something, the person didn’t get it, and instead of simplifying it, you started adding more words?

More examples.
More explanations.
More stories.

Before you know it, the simple message you started with has become a story time.

Over the years, I have learnt that more words do not always create more understanding. Sometimes, the best way to communicate better is to pause and ask:

“What exactly does this person need to understand?”

Then say that.

No unnecessary jargon.
No five-minute introduction.
No trying to prove how much you know.

Just the message.

Look, good communication is not about showing people everything you know. It is about helping them understand what they need to know and sometimes, that requires saying less.

Omo, this one is hard because some of us genuinely enjoy explaining. I know because I use to be the chairwoman of that association 😂

But i have come to realize that if your audience needs three minutes to understand a message that could have taken thirty seconds, maybe the problem isn’t their attention span.

Maybe we need to edit ourselves.

Say what matters.

Make it clear.

Then stop talking.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #theanchorcoach #drayodolapo by @dr_ayodolapo

Communication is not the goal.

Stay with me…

You send the message.

You explain what you want.

You have said everything you needed to say.

And then you expect the other person to simply go and do it.

But here is the problem: You communicating is not the same as the other person understanding you.

That is where many communication breakdowns begin.

Someone gives an instruction to a team and gets frustrated when the team doesn’t deliver what was expected.

“I already told them!”

Yes, you told them.

But did they understand you?

For me, effective communication has to move through four stages:

1. Clarity
Is my message clear?
Did I say what I mean without ambiguity, unnecessary jargon or insults?

2. Understanding
Does the other person actually understand what I am trying to communicate?

Because you can give a perfectly clear message and still have someone interpret it differently.

3. Influence
How did I communicate it?

Did I communicate in a way that helps the person see why it matters and influences how they think or decide?

4. Action
What happens next?

Because ultimately, communication should move something.

A decision.
A behaviour.
A response.
An action.

So, the next time you communicate, don’t stop at:

“Have I said what I wanted to say?”

Ask: “Was I clear? Did they understand? Was I able to influence? And what action should follow?”

Because communication is not about successfully transferring words from your mouth to someone else’s ears.

It is about moving understanding towards action and that is where effective communication begins to produce results.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #drayodolapo #theanchorcoach by @dr_ayodolapo

A Quick Note
“It’s my preference” is not a free pass for harmful or unacceptable behaviour. This is about respecting differences, not excusing bad choices.

#communication #theanchorcoach #respect #drayodolapo #perspective by @dr_ayodolapo

I have a confession: I hate reading PDFs 🙈

Stay with me…

I went book shopping recently, and honestly, I was in my element. 😂

Give me a physical book and I am happy.

I want to hold the book.
Underline something.
Dog-ear a page.
Write something in the margin.

But give me a PDF and suddenly, reading becomes punishment. 😂

Maybe it is the phone.
Maybe it is the screen light entering my eyes (I dislike bright lights 😩)
Maybe it is the fact that Instagram is literally one swipe away. Don’t you dare judge me🙄

Whatever it is, I have realised something:

I learn and engage better when I can physically interact with what I am reading.

And that got me thinking about communication.

We don’t all communicate, receive or process information in exactly the same way.

Some people prefer a conversation.
Some want you to send a detailed message.
Some need to see it visually.
Some want you to demonstrate it.
Some need time to process before they respond.

You have to understand what works for you.

And when you are communicating with other people, you also need to understand what works for them.

For me, I have finally accepted that if I want to enjoy reading, give me the hard copy please. I actually enjoy reading much more when I can hold the book, underline it and make it mine.

And sometimes, that is the difference between struggling with something and finding a way that actually works.

Know yourself. Know your audience. Then communicate accordingly.

Want to communicate with clarity, connect with the right people and turn conversations into meaningful results?
Follow me for practical insights on strategic communication, personal branding, stakeholder engagement and innovation to scale.

Mercy Dolapo Matthew, PhD
The Anchor Coach

#strategiccommunication #personalbranding #stakeholderengagement #theanchorcoach #drayodolapo by @dr_ayodolapo