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Dr Mandy Stephenson

@drmandystephenson

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🎓PhD in Film & English (children's culture)✨ Former Uni Lecturer (20 yrs) @ AUB 🪩AuDHD family 💕Trauma informed coach 🎥 Film tutor 💕 foster parent

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I love this testimonial thank you J 💕💕💕 #coaching #adhd #mentalhealthwarrior #mentalhealth #creativity by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

What’s the bolder move you KNOW you want to make... but keep not making?

Maybe you want to launch something
Film something
Start selling your work
Put your prices up
Pitch yourself for bigger opportunities
Become more visible
Have more audacity and
Say what you actually think in your content
Or take your work in a direction that feels much more like YOU
And you probably don’t need me to tell you that you should do it
You already know. But you are getting in your own way and you aren’t sure why.

So, the interesting question is:
What’s happening between “I want to do this” and actually getting on and doing it?

I’m Mandy. I taught creative university students for 20 years and I now work with neurodivergent creators, and I have always been obsessed with the gap wanting something and making it happen.

Because sometimes you need a strategy
But sometimes you already HAVE the strategy
What’s getting in the way is overthinking
Perfectionism
Fear of being judged
Overwhelm
Not trusting your own decisions.

Or being so used to looking for the “right” way to do things that making the move YOUR way feels surprisingly uncomfortable.

And that’s the work I’m interested in.
Not making you fearless.
Not throwing you miles outside your comfort zone.
And definitely not giving you another generic blueprint.
Finding YOUR Bolder Move.
Working out what’s actually stopping you.
Finding the brave-but-doable version.
And supporting you while you make it happen

That’s what my new 90-day coaching programme, **The Bolder Move Intensive**, is built around.
One meaningful, measurable move.

90 days.
Highly personalised support.

And by the end, you will have more evidence that you’re capable of doing the things that currently scare the shit out of you.

If there’s a move you’ve been thinking about while I’ve been talking...

DM me “BOLDER”.
Tell me what it is.
Let’s see what’s getting in the way.
#creativity #adhd #coaching #nervoussystem #procrastination by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

I spent 20 years teaching at an arts university, and one of the things I learned is that sometimes the people who look like they care the least...

actually care the most.

In my final year of teaching I had a student who was so anxious about her dissertation that she basically wasn’t going to write one.

She “knew” she couldn’t write a good essay.

And she was about to graduate without honours because of it.

So I shrugged and told her:

Write a bad one then

Forget getting a good mark.

Here’s the absolute bare minimum you need to scrape a pass.

A few references.

A vaguely coherent argument.

If you get stuck, chuck in some description.

Who cares?

Just get the thing written.

And I could say that because I knew how low the bar actually went.

I once had another student finish his essay with:

“As for my conclusion, I have reached the word count, so fuck it.”

I did refer him. 😂

THAT was the bar.

And do you know what happened to the student I’d given permission to write a terrible dissertation?

She got a first.

Because she wasn’t lazy.

She was frozen because she cared.

And once we removed the pressure to do it brilliantly, she could actually access all the ability she already had.

So here’s something I’d love you to play with.

Think of something you’re procrastinating on because you want to do it well.

And give yourself permission to make a shit first version.

Not forever.

Just version one.

You can make it good later.

First...

make it exist.#coaching #procrastination #creativity #adhd by @drmandystephenson

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117

a month ago

I think sometimes we accidentally take all the play out of being creative.

We start off making things because it’s fun.

Because we’re curious.

Because we have an idea and think:

“Ooh... I wonder what would happen if I tried that?”

And then somewhere along the way...

we start needing our creativity to **do something**.

It needs to be good.

It needs to be finished.

It needs to be useful.

It needs to make money.

It needs to get engagement.

It needs to go somewhere.

And suddenly even creativity has become another form of productivity.

I’ve been thinking about this because one of the things I really love doing is scriptwriting.

And I’m not necessarily talking about sitting down with a serious intention to WRITE A FILM.

Sometimes I just like playing with an idea.

What if this happened?

What would this character do?

What if I put these two people in a room together?

What happens if I make this completely ridiculous?

And there’s something about that process that reconnects me with parts of myself that can get sidelined when I’m being productive.

Because most of adult life is incredibly outcome-focused.

We do things **in order to** do something else.

I go to the gym to be healthy.

I answer the email because somebody needs something.

I do the washing because apparently everyone expects clean clothes.

There’s always a point.

But play doesn’t necessarily need a point.

And I think that’s precisely why it’s so valuable.

Because when I’m playing, I’m not asking:

**“Is this good?”**

I’m asking:

**“What happens if...?”**

And those are completely different creative questions.

“Is this good?” makes me evaluate.

“What happens if...?” makes me curious.

One closes things down.

The other opens things up.

And I think sometimes, if we’re feeling creatively stuck, we don’t need more discipline.

We don’t need another productivity system.

We don’t need to try harder to make something brilliant.

Maybe we need to take the outcome away for a little while.

Make something pointless.

Write something nobody will read.

Try something you’re terrible at.

Follow an idea simply because it makes you c by @drmandystephenson

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25 days ago

Worlds 2019…2022… 2024 #mareep #pikachu #tcg #pokemonworlds # by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

A couple of months ago, I was making a film with a group of neurodivergent teenagers.

And some of them REALLY didn’t want to join in.

They were anxious.
Self-conscious.
Worried about looking stupid.

And obviously, we could have stood there saying:
“Come on!”
“Nobody’s judging you!”
“Just have a go!”
“Don’t worry about looking silly!”

But there’s a slight problem with asking someone not to worry about looking silly...
while you’re standing safely on the sidelines looking completely fucking sensible.

So I got the teachers on board and said...
the adults need to go first.
So we joined in.
We played.
We made stupid noises.
We did ridiculous things.

We were deliberately willing to look a bit daft and we genuinely had fun.

And gradually...
they started joining us.
Because we weren’t just TELLING them:
“It’s safe to look silly here.”
We were showing them.

And I’ve thought about that a lot since.
Because I think we do this with confidence all the time.
We assume we need to FEEL confident before we’re willing to do the thing.
But sometimes we need to do the thing...
and let our brain discover:
“Oh.
I did that.
I looked a bit ridiculous.
And absolutely fucking nothing terrible happened.”

And I think this becomes particularly interesting as adults.
Because the older we get, the more things we become competent at.
We get very good at knowing what we’re doing.
And being a beginner can suddenly feel REALLY uncomfortable.

So maybe sometimes we need to model something for ourselves.
Try the thing we’re shit at.
Sing the note badly.
Make terrible art.
Dance when nobody else is dancing.
Be visibly enthusiastic about something.
Let ourselves PLAY.
Not because we’ve suddenly stopped feeling self-conscious...

but because we’re showing the more frightened parts of ourselves:
“You can come too.
I’ll go first.”#creativity #adhd #coaching #procrastination #nervoussystem by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

**Spite is surprisingly good rocket fuel.**
I know because I’ve used it extensively.

Tell me I can’t do something?
Underestimate me?
Suggest I’m probably not capable of it?
And somewhere inside me immediately goes:

**“Oh REALLY? Watch me.”**

I’m Mandy. I spent 20 years teaching at an arts university, and these days I work with neurodivergent creative people who want to make bolder moves.

And for a long time, being underestimated was genuinely quite motivating for me.
**I’ll prove you wrong** can generate a LOT of energy.

And actually?

I’m not going to criticise younger versions of myself for using whatever fuel they had available.

Sometimes moving **away from** something is exactly what gets us moving.

Away from a situation.
Away from how somebody treated us.
Away from a version of ourselves we don’t want to be anymore.

But I’ve started thinking there’s a problem with spite as a long-term energy source.

Because if I’m building my life around **proving YOU wrong...**
you’re still involved in deciding where I’m going.
You’re still my reference point.

And I don’t really want to give you that much fucking influence.

So these days I’m much more interested in another question:
**What am I moving TOWARDS?**
Not:
“I’ll show them.”
But:
**“What do I actually choose for myself?”**
What do I want to make?
Who do I want to become?
What kind of work do I want to do?
What kind of life am I trying to build?

Because moving away can get us out of somewhere we don’t want to be.

But eventually...
**we need something worth moving towards.**

So here’s something to experiment with.
Think about one goal you’re working towards right now and ask:

**If I removed the person I’m trying to impress, prove wrong, keep happy or rebel against...**
**would I still want this?**

And if the answer’s yes — brilliant.
Keep going.

But if the answer is no...
maybe it’s worth asking:
**What would I choose instead?**
Because I’m increasingly less interested in:
**“I’ll show you.”**
And much more interested in:
**“I’ll choose me.”**
#creativity #adhd #coaching #ichooseme #procrastination by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

I spent 20 years teaching at an arts university, and one thing I used to say to students all the time was:

**If you want a different outcome, at some point you’re probably going to have to take a different path.**

Imagine walking through a forest.

There’s a path you’ve walked hundreds of times.

The grass is flattened.

The leaves are trampled down.

You can see exactly where you’re going.

And next to it there’s another route.

It’s overgrown.

There are branches in the way.

You’re not entirely sure where you’re putting your feet.

Which one are you naturally going to take?

**Of course it’s the easy fucking path.**

I’m Mandy. I work with neurodivergent creative people, and I’ve used this metaphor with students, friends and my own kids for years.

Because our brains develop familiar patterns too.

Certain situations trigger familiar thoughts, feelings and responses.

And those familiar responses can feel safer simply because...

**we know them.**

So we decide:

“This time I’m going to do things differently.”

And then somehow find ourselves halfway down exactly the same bloody path.

People-pleasing again.

Trying to make everything perfect again.

Avoiding the thing that makes us visible.

Looking outside ourselves for the “right” answer.

And here’s the bit I think really matters:

**The first win isn’t necessarily choosing the new path.**

Sometimes it’s simply noticing:

**“Oh. I’m on the old path again.”**

Because once you notice, you have a choice.

And you don’t have to think:

“Well, I’ve fucked it now. Might as well keep walking.” 😂

You can change direction from wherever you are.

So here’s something to experiment with this week.

Choose ONE familiar pattern.

And rather than trying to immediately stop doing it...

**see how early you can notice yourself doing it.**

Then ask:

**“Is this path actually taking me where I want to go?”**

And if it isn’t:

**“What’s one slightly less familiar choice I could make here? #creativity #neurodivergent #takethepath #coaching #procrastination by @drmandystephenson

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2

a month ago

I spent 20 years teaching at an arts university, and one thing I learned was:

sometimes the best way to deal with perfectionism is to make perfection impossible.

I’m Mandy, and I work with neurodivergent creative people.

And actually, I’d been doing this long before I started teaching.

Years ago, I did an HNC in photography.

This was actual film stock.
Darkrooms. Enlargers. The whole thing.

And I deliberately photographed my friends in technically difficult places.

Clubs.
The beach at night.
Terrible lighting.

Places where technical perfection simply wasn’t available.

Which created an interesting problem when the work was marked.

You couldn’t really criticise me for not achieving technical perfection...

when I’d deliberately made it impossible.

So instead, I focused on what I actually cared about:

connection.

I photographed my friends, wrote tiny haiku poems, and superimposed the ones they chose onto their portraits in the darkroom.

And I’ve realised I’ve done this throughout my life.

I’ve given myself an hour to write a film and an afternoon to shoot it.

I taught make-up for 13 years and NEVER wore make-up.

When I lost my hair during chemotherapy, I didn’t cover my bald head.

Different situations, but I think there’s a common thread:

I don’t want an imaginary standard of perfection getting between me and actually living, making or connecting.

So here’s something to try.

Take ONE thing you’ve been putting off because you want to do it really well...

and make perfection impossible.

Give yourself 30 minutes.
Use what you’ve already got.
Do it in one take.
Make the deliberately shit version.

Then instead of asking:

“Is it good enough?”

ask:

“Did I make something that matters or connects?”

And if you’re a neurodivergent creative experimenting with doing things differently, come and join us in Defiant Spark. It’s free — link in my bio.

Because I’ll choose imperfect and connected over perfect - which I don’t believe actually exists anyway - every fucking time. #coaching #perfectionism #makethething #creativity #adhd by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

What if the behaviours that helped you FIT IN... are now making it harder for you to STAND OUT?

Because I think this creates a really interesting problem for neurodiverse creators.
Many of us have spent our entire lives trying to work out the rules.

What am I supposed to say?
How am I supposed to behave?
Was that too much?
Did I talk too long?
Was that weird?
What is everybody else doing?

And learning to adapt can be incredibly useful because
it can help us navigate environments that weren’t particularly designed with us in mind.

I’m Mandy. I work with neurodiverse creators and I’m obsessed with the weird and wonderful stuff that happens between “I really want to do this” and actually getting on and doing it

And here’s where this gets interesting.

Because when you decide to build something around your creativity, ideas or perspective...
and suddenly the rules change.

The thing that makes you commercially interesting might be the exact thing you’ve spent years learning to tone down:
Your perspective.

And then social media gives us a whole NEW set of rules.
Find your niche.
Use this hook.
Make this kind of content.
Post this many times.
Do what other successful creators are doing.

And strategy can be incredibly useful.
But there’s a difference between letting strategy inform what you create
and letting it author what you create.

Because if you’re constantly looking outside yourself for the right answer...

you can become incredibly good at fitting in...
at exactly the point your business needs you to stand out.

So try this.
Before you post, create something, or make your next business decision, ask:

Am I doing this because it feels right for me — or because I’ve learned this is what I’m supposed to do?”

You don’t have to ignore the rules.
Just notice who’s making the decision.

And if you’re a neurodivergent creator trying to build something that feels more like YOU...

come and join us in **Defiant Spark**.

It’s a free online community— link’s in my bio. #Adhd #creativity #coaching #nervoussystem #procrastination by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

Not everything that scares you is something you need to “push through.”
But sometimes fear is pointing directly at the place you’re about to grow.
I’m Mandy. I help creative women make bigger moves in their businesses — and understand the stuff that quietly gets in the way.
When I was younger, my mantra was:
“Face your fears head on.”
I don’t believe that anymore.
Now I think:
Fear is information.
And I picture it as three circles.
🟢 Green is comfortable.
You’re doing what you already know you can do.
Maybe you’re creating the work you know your audience likes.
Nothing wrong with that.
But you’re probably not stretching much either.
🟠 Orange is your stretch zone.
Pitching the bigger client.
Posting something more personal.
Putting your prices up.
Launching the thing.
Your nervous system is going:
“Are we REALLY doing this?”
But you can still think, make decisions and stay connected to yourself.
That’s where you get to discover:
“Oh shit. I CAN do this.”
Then there’s 🔴 red.
You’re overwhelmed. You’re shutting down. You can’t think clearly.
And red isn’t:
“Come on! BE BRAVE! Push harder!”
Sometimes it’s:
Stop.
Get support.
Make the move smaller.
Come back to green.
Because your comfort zone isn’t the enemy.
And fear isn’t something you have to defeat.
So next time you’re avoiding a bigger move, don’t immediately force yourself through it.
Ask:
Is this green? Orange? Or red?
And if it’s red...
what would the orange version of this look like?
Because growth doesn’t require throwing yourself into overwhelm.
Spend some time in orange.
Come back to green.
Then stretch again.
And eventually you might notice...
your green circle has got bigger.
If you’re a woman or gender-diverse creative building a business and you want to make some bigger moves of your own, I’ve created a free community for exactly that.
Creative Women in Business — link in my bio. 🔥 by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago

What if the thing you’re procrastinating on isn’t the thing you care least about

But the thing you care most about…
#adhd #creativity #procrastination #vulnerability #singing by @drmandystephenson

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a month ago