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Enza Ruscillo

@enzaallday

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Dexter,
It's been 2 weeks since we said goodbye. I've cried every day and the burning hole in my chest just keeps getting bigger. I kiss your necklace all day because I miss you so much. The grief washes over me & I drop to my knees. I look at your pictures & videos and I can see all of that love looking back at me. You were the most special dog, so handsome, so funny.
You came to me in a dream the day before you were cremated. I keep finding signs that you're okay.

I rescued you.at 1.5 yrs old, after 7 homes & a history of abuse. We had the best life! We were only apart for 27 days during our entire lifetime together. If you couldn't be there, I didn't want to be there. You were my priority, the keeper of my secrets. You were my everything.

You were a fighter to the very end. Some nights I kissed you 200 hundred times in a row. I sang to you every day "I love you, you love me, we're a happy family" and I still sing it.

We gave you a celebration of life on the Wednesday, surrounded by your aunties and uncles, who came to say their goodbyes & share their stories. We popped bottles in your honor, the way we always did and when the cork went, you were too frail to enjoy it. So we laid it beside you, and we cremated you with it.

You transitioned at 6:45 on the Thursday surrounded by an abundance of love and music, like the way you lived. I played Flowers, then Sailing, then Into the Mystic. I held you on my chest for 2 hours after you passed, singing our song and making you promises I will never break.

I want to thank my friends & family for holding me through this grief. Especially my Mom and, to Kahu Animal Hospital & Amy - In Good Hands Pet Loss for the exceptional care.

No more sleepies, no more eaties, no more treaties, no more spoonies. You were my best spooning partner.

You are my soulmate♡
We had the greatest love of all♡
You truly Rescued Me.♡
I love you forever Dexter♡

#Dexter4Ever #EnzaandDexter #myrescuerescuedme by @enzaallday

HOME is a sonic journey celebrating the music that shaped us.

Two Selectas.
Three hours each.
The music unfolds. Tells its story.

Each month we gather somewhere new across the GTA.
The venue shifts. The feeling stays.

Music, art, food, cocktails, and a sober bar.
A room full of people who live it.
Who know there’s 'No Parking on the Dancefloor'

For the LAUNCH: 1st time spinning together!
Jason Palma
Mark Oliver
Two of Canada’s finest. All VINYL.

Sunday, April 12
3PM – 9PM
918 Bathurst

Right from the start.
All the way through.
A Floorwerx Sesh

》TIX LINK in BIO ( limited capacity)

#HOME #GOTTABEBIGPRODUCTIONS #jasonpalma #markoliver #allvinyl by @enzaallday

Today, I honoured my sweet Dexter at the Good Mourning Festival at Evergreen Brick Works, celebrating Día de los Muertos with my friend Fiona❤️

I participated in 2 activations.

1. The Memorial Garden, where I planted a tulip bulb and wrote a message on a rock. I registered to receive an email when my tulip blooms. Ouufff, I bawled, took a deep breath and a step forward.

2. In Good Hands Pet Loss.

I sat in the sunshine, holding a shiny black stone in.my hand, as I wrote a message to Dexter, I cried uncontrollably but the tears felt different today. I kissed the rock, placed it down and lit a little candle beside it. I also wrote him a note and attached it to twine with a tiny laundry peg and cried again.

There was a comfort in being able to remember Dexter in such a meaningful way.

We walked the trails, listened to mariachi music, met some incredible vendors and enjoyed the afternoon.

I came home feeling lighter, grateful for a day that allowed space for both grief and joy.

Thank you to everyone who created such a thoughtful experience. I needed it.

Dexter, I love you and miss you more than words can say. Always. ❤️🐾🌷

#GoodMourning #petloss #Dexter ##myrescuerescuedme by @enzaallday

Friday night, after dinner celebrating our girl Stephanie, everyone came back to my place for cake and bubbles. ❤️

It had that old-school 70s and 80s magic. Music, dancing, cocktails, laughter and not a phone in sight. Just people genuinely loving being together.

It was super spesh. We all felt it.

A beautiful reminder that the best moments are often the simplest.

Happy Birthday to our girl Stephanie!

BIG LOVE. ALWAYS. ❤️

#friendsforever ##blessedmoments #BirthdayGirl #enzaknows🎯 by @enzaallday

Menopause brain is no joke.

My memory has always been questionable, but perimenopause changed things and menopause kicked it into high gear.

Recently, a store was shut down because I was convinced I had lost my cell phone and I Lost it!

Full panic. Everyone was looking for it. I was on the phone with my mother, freaking out, telling her I couldn’t find my phone.

Finally, my mother said, “Whose phone are you on?”
I looked down and said, “Oh. My phone.”

I was embarassed because it happens alot. I apologized. Everyone understood. Women smiled and laughed; but we all noticed a glaze of fear and frustration. Because this is unsettling.

There’s panic. Frustration. That split second of wondering, why is this happening to me?

So many women experience this through perimenopause and menopause, and I’m thankful that more women are finally talking about it.

The struggle is real.

Fuck you, menopause.
I didn’t buy tickets to this show.

@enzaallday

#menopause #perimenopause #menopausebrain #stories #enzaallday by @enzaallday

Idon’t even know how to properly thank Amy Ames from In Good Hands Pet Loss but I need to try.

Amy has been by my side for the past 2 years, supporting me through all the ups and downs of Dexter getting older and entering dementia. She was there without ever knowing whether I would eventually become a client. She was there because she cared.

And when things started getting scary at the end, she was there for every text, every phone call. She shared her own painful experiences with loss with me. She listened. She never made me feel like I was asking too much.

She even lent me her wagon so I could take Dexter on one final tour around the Danforth, stopping at all of our favourite places. Those days will stay with me forever.

When the time came, Amy introduced me to the most incredible mobile vet and helped me through something I truly did not know how I was going to survive.

And when she came to pick up Dexter, she gave me extra time with him that I didn’t know I needed.

As I was walking away, completely devastated from the pain of leaving him, Amy asked me if I wanted to give him one final kiss.

For years, I'd been trying to get Dexter to show me his little bottom teeth the way he did when he was a puppy.

I kissed him goodbye.
And his lower lip fell, and there they were.
His little bottom teeth.

That was my final image of Dexter.

Amy gave me that.

She has guided me through every decision since. She accepted the letter I wrote for him to go with him for his cremation. And she continues to answer my calls and texts as I try to figure out how to live in a world without him.

Amy has held me through this grief like one of my closest friends.

I have suffered a lot of loss in my life, but there has been nothing like losing Dexter.

He was my soulmate.

I don't own know how I would've gotten through any of this without Amy. She is, without question, one of the most empathetic people I've ever met in my life.

Amy, thank you for your guidance.
Thank you for your heart.
Thank you for your friendship.

Thank you for giving me time when by @enzaallday

We say our goodbye to Dexter on Wednesday September 16th, 2026. He's been mine for 15 years. But the commUNITY adopted him.as their dog.

Amy from @ingoodhandspetloss lent me her wagon so he could still get out and take in the world. Yesterday was his second stroll.. I started on the quiet side streets, he just looked so far away. And I stopped and said, "This is not what we do, Dexter." We Strut Our Phunky Stuff along the Danforth and we have dinner and drinks and today wasn't going to be any different.
So I turned us around.
We ended up on the patio at @thewrendanforth .
He hasn't been eating. We're feeding him tiny pieces, one at a time, and that guts me, because he's always had an enormous appetite.
The waiter greeted us and broke down. It was the most tender thing I witnessed.
Before I could even ask, he brought a patty out for Dexter. And then my mother walked by, with a little towel to keep him warm. The three of us shared a cocktail while a lovely human eating dinner next to us offered to take our photo. And then he chilled with us for a while.

That was the evening. We have 1 day left, and we're going to head to one of our spots @squareboy for our regular - chicken souvlaki, fries and a coors lite on the patio.

Thank you to everyone who was kind to us. It was Everything♡¡ by @enzaallday

The incredible Patachou bakery that I loved so much is back (sort of) as Croquembouche on the Danforth.
That breakfast sandwich is the best I've ever had: two perfectly fried eggs on a warm, velvety croissant with emmental, bacon, lettuce, their house mayo, and tomatoes. Anyone who knows me knows I don't do tomatoes. I had double. That's how good this was.
Add an almond milk latte and a pear danish with almond paste and shaved almonds, French music playing, a fan on the back of my neck, eyes closed and I was right back in Paris. Cafés, bike rides, a baguette and a bottle of wine, eating alone and completely content. That kind of happy.
A long week deserved a moment like this. And I'm grateful I get to build these into my life including supporting a family-run bakery and watching mother, father, and son work side by side. It reminded me of the Sidewalk Café days with my own family: the love, the chaos and, coming back around to Gratitude. There's nothing like sharing that with people who get it.
I also ended up in one of those honest, unplanned conversations with the matriarch, about menopause, frozen shoulder, knee pain, hot flashes the things nobody prepares you for. Her son didn't get it. My mom walked in and we laughed ♡ we all connected. That's commUNITY..
Sending love to everyone this weekend
I hope you get a moment like this one. 🥐🇫🇷

#Croquembouche #TorontoEats #DanforthEats #UnapologeticallyEnza #Enzaisms by @enzaallday

Adulting: may I speak to your manager? Please.

It's funny. It's also true.
My dog is old. He just turned sixteen. Some days it's one thing after another: his health dips, then the next day he's great, then it's 2 nights with no sleep, then multiple vet visits. I cry about it every day. I'm scared. But I keep thinking about all the good times, and I just go with the flow because that's all I know how to do.
There's no manager for this: no one with more authority than me over what happens next. Just me, learning to hold the fear and the love at the same time.
Knowing it was coming and actually living it are two different things.
Damn, I really wish I could speak to a manager and have this one taken off my hands for fuck's sake,
I just can't right now.
#unapologeticallyenza #adulting #dexterandenza #myrescuerescuedme #rescuemom rideordie by @enzaallday

I miss our belly laughs, your stories, your cheesecakes, your passion, your magical sets.
I miss the BoomBoomRoom.
I Miss You Rob aka Shangawd!!
The originator ☆ never to be duplicated.

♡ Happy Heavenly Bornday ♡ by @enzaallday

My first visit to @elviras.to ✨ tiny Portuguese spot tucked in a shipping container off Queen East, run by the happiest couple. Bossa nova playing, happy customers all around.
Best sausage and fries I've had in a very long time. Cod, shrimp, and tuna fritters were exceptional. Salad was onpoint. Pineapple lemon iced drink, so refreshing. Custard tart, Boom!
High quality food, small bites, happy bellies.

Say hi to Luis and Carolina. Tell them Enza sent you 🇵🇹
📍 639 Queen St E, Toronto ( through the parking lot - maje a right)

#Portuguesefood #bossanova #leslieville #EastSideEats #EnzaKnows by @enzaallday

About five months ago, an emergency hit right as I unfortunately lost my longtime vet. In the search for someone new, I was pointed toward @kahuanimalhospital ( private practice) and from the moment I walked in, it felt like a five-star resort. Snacks for humans & furbabies, warm☆calm energy and exceptional care and compassion. Post visit they offer 24-hour concierge services. I'm completely blown away by the response time and how thorough they are!
Thank you, Dr. Dillworth and the entire Kahu team, for taking care of Dexter and me this weekend!'
If you're ever weighing your options, check them out.
They're angels walking among us. 🙏🐶
I'm just so grateful that Dexter celebrated his 16th Birthday on June 20th.

#Dexter #kahuAnimalHospital #FurBabies #GratefulPetParent by @enzaallday