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Evan Schmevan

@evanneedstostop

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I take things too literally

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I once read that grief is just love with no where to go and I have never resonated with something so deeply. I've recently started reading through mum's blogs on @wovenlight_journal and I never realized how much she spoke about me on there. I've been thinking about her a lot this year, so much has happened and I've grown so much I feel like I carry so much of her with me in the way I dress and the music I listen to, I've even started stealing the flowers spilling over walls or in the park. I often wish mum could have stuck around just a few more years, just to see me grow into my own person and be proud of who I am. I never got to tell mum who I am, I'll always be her daughter. Sometimes I wonder if I am grieving over the person who I was before I lost her too. I knew it was coming but I was still so unprepared and I feel like who I was changed immediately. I was so lost without her the first two years, I didn't know who I was without my mum and I had difficulty coming to terms with the fact she would never see my graduation or any big milestone, but I've found wearing her clothes and at least trying to be even a quarter as kind and appreciate life even a quarter as much has helped me find who I am not with or without her but with who she is now. When I think of my mum, the sunsets seem more colorful and the butterflies seem to all dance around me like they know I share blood with the Rebecca Rose. I hope she knows just how much I loved her even though I may not have shown it.

Love,
Evan xx by @evanneedstostop

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2 years ago

I had the most incredible day, I was surrounded by friends who were incredibly dressed and even better dancers. So lucky that this all got to take place on my birthday!! I love John Curtin so much and all of you even more. I am so lucky to have ended up here.

Ps. Thank you Hunter for my rubber duck that I suppose you found somewhere in the 9 rings of hell taken in East Street Jetty by @evanneedstostop

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2 years ago

Great day at boarding yesterday with some of my favourite people @mushroomcat0.0 we missed you 😭 taken in Perth, Western Australia by @evanneedstostop

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2 years ago

Out to the movies with my mates yesterday. Almost cried listening to the music in the credits 😭. Great movie taken in Event Cinema, Innaloo by @evanneedstostop

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2 years ago

Photo dump. by @evanneedstostop

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2 years ago

Friday night Ice skating. We all stacked it but we got slushies so it was all good. Boarding has been so fun and I dont think its changing anytime soon. taken in Cockburn Ice Arena by @evanneedstostop

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3 years ago

Most bittersweet cake I’ve made, well it was actually just sweet but it was to say goodbye and good luck to the @stlukescollegekarratha class of 2023 by @evanneedstostop

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3 years ago

Never forget💖 by @evanneedstostop

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3 years ago

A pizza at Whalebone for lunch with my family. taken in Exmouth, Western Australia by @evanneedstostop

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3 years ago

What better way to celebrate than cake?

#babyshower #baby #ohbaby #cake #cakedecorating #dessert #dessertlover #babyshowercake by @evanneedstostop

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3 years ago

If you want cake, make cake by @evanneedstostop

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4 years ago

Made a cake for my step mum's birthday and I love it so much #happybirthday #cake #cakedecorating #macarons #flowers #theicingonthecake by @evanneedstostop

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5 years ago