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eva vantil

@evarvantil

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I’ve debated making a post dedicated to my mom for a long time— not because I don’t think she deserves it, but because it’s difficult to even get the words out. It has been nearly 4 years since my mother has passed away. It was the summer of June 2021, just the start of summer. On the 21st of June, I had been the first one to find out she had passed away.

As a 15 year old at the time, it was hard for me to even fathom that my mother was the one to pass away. Granted, my mother had her own demons and always struggled with alcoholism. Being young at the time, it was always hard to grasp the concept of “alcoholism”. I had been aware of what that term means, but didn’t realize it was right in front of me.

Now that I am almost twenty years old, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, grieve, and understand my feelings. 4 years ago, I was angry and resentful towards my mother because I blamed myself, her, and the people surrounding me. Now, I understand there was absolutely nothing I could have done to prevent her illness. I am content that her pain is no longer an issue for her, and that she is somewhere safe and sound looking over me.

Though I wish she were here with me being able to see everything I’ve been able to accomplish, I know she’s up there watching me and my little brother.

I will always be thinking about you momma and how life could’ve been if you were still here. Love you forever no matter what 🤍🤍

#alcoholismawareness #suicideprevention taken in Heaven by @evarvantil

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2 years ago

21 w/ no kidsss by @evarvantil

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a month ago

babies’ first rave #breakaway by @evarvantil

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2 months ago

emptying the clip (of pics that didn’t make the feed yet) by @evarvantil

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2 months ago

#afternooning by @evarvantil

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4 months ago

annual (late) st paddy’s day post by @evarvantil

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7 months ago

should i post this on insta taken in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee by @evarvantil

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7 months ago

wannabe locals taken in Tennessee by @evarvantil

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7 months ago

change of pace taken in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee by @evarvantil

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7 months ago

pics or it didn’t happen taken in Kalamazoo, Michigan by @evarvantil

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a year ago

aren’t they the cutest by @evarvantil

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8 months ago

freedom or whatever w/ bsfs taken in Bay City, Michigan by @evarvantil

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a year ago