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Dr. Mark Matthews | High Performance Coach

@facemyfear

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🧠 PhD Psychologist | High Performance Coach
⚔️ Helping leaders become living proof
🙌 1k+ breakthrough sessions
👇 Scale Your Impact (Watch)

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It’s so easy to give your best energy to your goals, and leave the leftover scraps for the person you love.

It’s never from a lack of love, though, it’s just that we forget to decide who we actually want to BE when we walk through the front door.

True joy and deep connection come from taking full ownership of your relationship.

Here are 3 simple habits my fiancé, Bridget, and I use to actively choose love every single day:

1. We meet each other’s deepest needs 🧡

Not just superficial wants, but the foundational needs to feel truly seen, heard, and connected.

Most people wait to receive love, but the real magic happens the moment you decide to GIVE first.

2. We talk about money every single week 💰

Financial stress steals the joy from so many couples. Every week, Bridget and I sit down for a “Profit Pulse” to review our numbers and run our payoff plans together.

That exact transparency is how we operated as a team to pay off over $70,000 in debt (in a single year).

3. We decided who we want to BE 🙌

It’s easy to plan where you want to go together, but who do you want to *become* for each other?

How do you want to show up when you’re exhausted and it’s been a brutal day? Deciding who you want to be in those tough moments is the anchor of a great relationship.

Your love story shouldn’t be something you just default into.

It should be something you bravely and boldly design together.

Share this with your partner or someone who needs to hear it today 🧡 by @facemyfear

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3 months ago

Vision gives your life direction. Your decisions give it momentum.

Follow for more on psychology, leadership, and intentional living 🙌 by @facemyfear

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3 months ago

Feel everything. Fear nothing.

Not because fear never shows up.

But because fear is something you feel — not something you believe.

This is where so many people lose their power.

They feel fear in a moment… and then turn it into identity.

They stop saying, fear is here, and start saying, I’m afraid of that.

That one shift changes everything.

Because now fear is no longer a passing sensation. It becomes a belief system.

And once fear becomes belief, you start organizing your life around avoidance.

You avoid the conversation.
You avoid the leap.
You avoid the truth.
You avoid the life that would have expanded you.

But the opposite mistake is costly too.

A lot of people cope by desensitizing themselves.

They become the observer. Numb. Controlled. Untouched.

But when you desensitize yourself to pain, you also desensitize yourself to intuition, love, joy, conviction, and aliveness.

You do not become strong.

You become unavailable to life.

Real strength is not numbness.

Real strength is sensitivity with courage.

It is the capacity to feel deeply without becoming ruled by what you feel.

So the next time fear shows up, do not make it your identity.

Feel it
Face it
Move with strength

Follow to become fearless. Editorial Instagram post reading Feel Everything | Fear Nothing over a warm portrait photo of two people seated together. by @facemyfear

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6 months ago

This makes people resist you ☠️

P.S. if you found this helpful, follow for more 🙌

#influence #leadership by @facemyfear

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2 days ago

4 habits you have to outgrow if you want to become a better leader (#4 will call some of you out!)

P.S. if this was helpful, follow for more 🙌 by @facemyfear

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2 days ago

3 responses that will make your relationship worse (when your partner brings up the past).

🙌 Save this if you need a reminder of what to say (and not say) during those heated moments. by @facemyfear

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4 days ago

If I only had 5 minutes to prepare for a difficult conversation, here’s exactly what I’d do…

Whether it’s with your spouse, a business partner, or someone you care about, the way you show up can completely change how that conversation goes.

Here’s how I’d prepare:

1. Get clear on what you actually want.

Ask yourself: “What outcome am I trying to create?”

Do I want to prove I’m right? Make them admit they were wrong?

Or do I want us to walk away with more understanding, trust, and a path forward?

Your intention matters. If you walk in looking for a fight, you’ll probably find one.

2. Get yourself into the right state.

If your heart is racing, your jaw is clenched, and you’ve rehearsed 15 different arguments in your head, take a moment.

Breathe. Relax your body.

Remind yourself that this person isn’t your enemy.

You don’t need to win. You need to be present.

3. Enter THEIR world before inviting them into yours.

Before explaining your perspective, get curious about theirs.

What might they be experiencing?
What matters to them?
What are they afraid of?

You don’t have to agree with someone to understand them.

And people are far more receptive when they feel genuinely understood.

4. Decide how you’ll open the conversation.

Starting with “You always…” or “You never…” is a great way to put someone on the defensive.

Instead, try:

“Hey, there’s something I’d like to talk about because our relationship matters to me. Is now a good time?”

You’re communicating your intention AND giving them a choice.

5. Make one commitment to yourself.

No matter how they respond, commit to showing up as the person you want to be.

Maybe that’s listening without interrupting, staying curious instead of defensive, or having the courage to say something you’ve been avoiding.

You can’t control their response. But you CAN control the example you set.

And sometimes, that’s what changes everything.

🙌 Save this for the next conversation you’ve been putting off.

🧠 Follow for more on psychology, relationships, and becoming someone worth following. by @facemyfear

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4 days ago

Why do so many high achievers struggle to relax?

In my experience, there are 3 big reasons 👆

P.S. if you found this helpful, follow for more. by @facemyfear

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a month ago

Being vulnerable is NOT a strength (here’s what is).

P.S. If you found this helpful, follow for more 🔔

#vulnerability by @facemyfear

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7 days ago

This is the #1 mistake people make after hurting their partner (don’t let this be you!)

P.S. If you found this helpful, follow for more 🔔

#relationships #relationshipcoaching by @facemyfear

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9 days ago

Why won’t your husband open up to you?

It can be frustrating, however…

Make sure you’re not accidentally teaching him NOT to.

Sometimes we think we’re helping when we immediately offer advice, ask a million questions, connect it to something from the past, or try to make them feel better.

But they may not need any of that.

Sometimes they just need to know:

“I can tell you the truth about what’s happening inside me, and you’ll still see me the same way.”

That’s the kind of safety that creates deeper connection.

Follow for more on building relationships that actually make your life better 🙌 by @facemyfear

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10 days ago

Oops 😅

This was a big mistake I made early on in my relationship…

Bringing MY world into hers without first taking a moment to understand the world she’s *already* in.

The lesson:

Before you bring your energy, problems, excitement, or stress into the room, pause long enough to notice theirs.

Meet them where they are first. Then bring them into your world.

Follow for more on building stronger relationships and becoming better for the people you love 🧡 by @facemyfear

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11 days ago