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@sikentangsofa 's learning diary

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As a mentor and leader at work, I think the biggest challenge I've faced in learning to coach is fighting the urge to direct the coachee. Saying,

"Where do you want to go?" instead of "Go here."
"What do you think you should prioritize?" instead of "Prioritize this."
"What do you think is the biggest challenge?" instead of "I think this is your biggest challenge."

At first, it was frustrating—especially when I was coaching someone with a similar background. I often felt I already knew the answer.

But as I continue to develop my coaching skills, I've come to appreciate why this approach matters so much. When people choose their own direction, they're far more committed to it. The decision becomes theirs, not mine. And ultimately, they're the ones who will carry it forward.

I now think of coaching like being in a boat.
The coachee decides where they want to go.
The coach helps them think through how to navigate the journey.

The coach may ask, "Have you considered this route?" or "What might happen if you paddle that way?" But the coach never takes over the steering. That's what makes coaching so different from mentoring or leading.

Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give someone isn't direction.

It's ownership.

#fielearns
#coaching by @fielearns

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2 months ago

Have I ever been in what I thought was a "failed" coaching session?

Yes.

Just a few days ago, I was the coachee.

Throughout the session, I kept rambling from one thought to another. I couldn't seem to organize my thoughts, and by the end of the session, I felt like we hadn't made any progress or reached any conclusion.

Before we ended, my coach said,

"I think we should take some time before our next session. It seems you're still not sure what you really want. At first you said you didn't want A and wanted B instead, but throughout our conversation, you kept going back to A."

At that moment, I still thought it had been an unproductive session.

But over the next few days, her words kept coming back to me.

Do I actually still want A? I thought I had already decided I didn't.

Then it hit me.

The session wasn't about helping me make a decision.

It helped me realize that I was more conflicted than I had been willing to admit.

That awareness alone changed how I looked at my situation.

One thing I've learned about coaching is that not every session ends with an action plan.

Sometimes, the outcome is simply greater self-awareness.

And sometimes, that's exactly the progress we need.

#fielearns
#coaching by @fielearns

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2 months ago

Lately, I've been wondering whether confusion is always about not knowing the answer.

Sometimes, I think it's because we're trying to satisfy too many voices at once—our own, our family's, our colleagues', society's...

Coaching has taught me that before making a decision, it's worth asking: "Whose voice am I listening to right now?"

Sometimes, that's where clarity begins.

#fielearns #coaching by @fielearns

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3 months ago

One of the most memorable questions my coach ever asked me...

"If you fail at this project, what will be left of you?"

At first, I thought it was a question about the project.

But it wasn't.

The project was only the tip of the iceberg. The real question was: What is hidden beneath the surface?

When we feel miserable about a project, is it really about the project?

Or is it about something deeper that the project represents...

Our self-worth?

Our identity?

Our fear of failure?

That's when I realized the real conversation was never about the project.

That's what continues to surprise me about coaching.

Sometimes, one thoughtful question reveals far more than we ever expected.

#fielearns #coaching by @fielearns

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3 months ago

by @fielearns

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3 months ago

by @fielearns

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3 months ago

📖 Atomic Habit - James Clear

Internet membuat kita lupa bahwa segala hal membutuhkan proses. Mau makan, tinggal buka aplikasi Gofood. Mau pujian instan, tinggal post di instagram. Mau ngobrol, tinggal whatsapp. Kita lupa kalau untuk beberapa hal besar dalam hidup, kita butuh berjuang, dan hasilnya tidak akan langsung kelihatan. Buku ini adalah tentang hal-hal yang memerlukan proses dan perjuangan tersebut. "Success is a product of daily habits -- not once in a life time transformation". #bookstagram #quotes #leadershipquotes #books #read #reading #ayomembaca #baca #indonesiamembaca by @fielearns

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8 years ago

📖 The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle
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The ingredient of a great corporate culture is vulnerability. Funny, huh? By showing your weakness, people feel comfortable showing their own weakness, resulting in teamwork and cooperation.
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#read #book #leadershipquotes #book #bookquotes #quotes by @fielearns

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8 years ago

📖 Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg by @fielearns

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8 years ago

📖 The Hard Thing about Hard Things by Ben Horowitz

Love this book. Full of practical advice on how to run and lead a tech start up. by @fielearns

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8 years ago

📖 The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz
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"What happens when you have too many options is that you are responsible for what happens to you"
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According to this book, having too many options actually makes us more miserable than when we have fewer options. Why? Because our satisfaction level equals the value of the option we decided to take MINUS the opportunity cost of ALL other options we considered. So, the more options we consider when making the decision, the less likely we will feel happy about our choice later on. This is why money, fame, and intellect do not [always] equal happiness... Maybe this is also why it is so hard to manage millenials, the generation with access to abundance of choice offered by the internet and social media.... generasi yang gak pernah ngerasain masa-masa kejayaan telpon umum koin, telpon kartu, pager, friendster, yahoo messenger, dan mIRC: jaman di mana pilihan sangat terbatas sehingga membuat orang cenderung "gampang dibikin seneng" 😁

#read #book #leadershipquotes #book #bookquotes #quotes by @fielearns

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8 years ago

by @fielearns

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8 years ago